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Unwanted Houseguests & Worthless People


Drue_Down

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Well my friend...all you did with that bitch staying at your house is accumulate some blow job points with your old lady. Extended family is bad, broken-extended-in-law's are even worse. At the end of the day though you need her to feel so uncomfortable in your house that she feel's it is not an option again.

 

Also making her hate you would be another great thing to do, get your girl on your side and just work towards a common un-standable hatred, this usually works when you need to draw those lines in the sand.

 

 

I fucking hear you though, tough spot to be in. Fucking freeloading whore!

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^^^

I could tell her that and she'll forget it. I tried to be patient, I can get along w/ anyone if I have to, but I began to lose patience real quick. Sadly, I could tell her off with numerous expletives, but she'd be too dumb to realize it.

 

Example: We took her on the rear deck, the next day she asked where that door led to.

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I try my best to never have people over to my place. At one of my apartments in Minneapolis, I lived there for 2 years and I don't think any one person was ever in my place more than 10 times. I lived in Denver for 7 months, and people only came over maaaybe 10 times, excluding my buddy and his girlfriend crashing in my living room for 5 days. ~8 of those were just one of my best friends and no one else. I've been in my current place for about 5 months, and only one person other than my parents has been here.

 

Good friends, or people visiting from out of town can get a pass, but other than that I try to avoid guests. Last time I had someone I wasn't good friends with in one of my places, they passed out in a chair like a fucking junkie....then proceeded to loot through my bathroom, find some pills that were hidden away like crazy, and steal them like a fucking junkie.

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That's a simple solution. Start pounding beers when you get home from work...pretend your totally wasted at like 11pm...get up and mumble "I iz goan to bed". Stumble to your bedroom, your wife follows and says "I better make sure he's alright, have a good sleep cousin homeless"

 

Then you wait 1 hour, come out to the living room where your Detroit scum bag guest is lying on the couch. You have to look like your sleep walking here, do not respond to anything she says, pull out your dick and start pissing on her face.

 

Problem solved.

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I think everyone missed the real point:

She doesn't have an email address.

 

 

Even DAO's Grandma, who didn't grow up with the Internet, has one.

 

Although I obviously HAVE one, I think I'm the only person in the world who doesn't use my email. I can honestly say in the 10 years or so since I discovered the interweb I've sent/received less than 10 emails, not including automatic confirmations, SPAM, forwarded shit I deleted, etc etc

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my great aunt came to my grandmothers house to die.no matter how many hints my family would drop for her to leave she wouldnt go.she was determined for us to find her ass cold in the guest bedroom smelling like old cheese and death.which is what she smelled like already..i mean the chick was like 96.smoking 2 packs a day to speed up the process i guess..

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I have a rule that I apply for most people (unless you are visiting on vacation for a predetermined ammount of time, which would never be more than 5 days)

 

You can stay every OTHER day/ if you are in a hard spot, you can crash on my couch, or in my sons bedroom (not in his little bed asshole, on the futon we change his diapers on) if I don't have him. Thats the best I can do... every other night. Not 2 nights in a row. Not a weekend. Every other night... you have to wipe your own ass at least half the time no matter what your situation is.

 

I havn't lived with a roomate I didnt fuck (no homo/s) for about 8 years now, and living with girls you date is horrible too. Although you did your part, under no circumstances let her crash on your couch like that again. I knew this one girl who pulled scams and forced her way into homes like this

"hey I just need to crash on your couch for a week, not even that, just 4 or 5 days, Ill give you 50$, you can put it towards the electric bill or something"

 

dude accepts not knowing he legally just accepted rent and has a verbal contract with a sublet tenant. after about a week dude was like "hey, its been over a week, you need to go"

 

she would refuse to leave. she waited for everyone to leave and moved his shit in the living room and tried to take over his room. he called the landlord, who informed him of his horrible legal pitfall, and the landlord had to set through formal eviction proceedings , which take well over a month from filing to eviction... so they had to deal with this psycho bitch basically barricading herself in their bedrooms nd could do nothing about it. even if you take 5$ from a friend to crash for 1 night, if theres no written agreement, its disputable if you admit to taking the money and they are a legally protected tennant/.

 

 

and nobody thought to break into the room she stoled and put a fucking pillow over her face until she stopped breathing?

 

fucking pillows, how do they work?

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4018135877_8762233253_m.jpg

 

<Enter the cousin-in law (who my wife barely knows!)

Woman, 42 years old, no looks, no style, no education, no job(just got layed off), no personality, no IQ, no kids, no husband, no boyfriend, ... nothing but 2 cats to go home to.

She has no internet at home, NO E-MAIL ADDRESS, and no credit.

She is dumb as a rock and has no hope of ever getting another job over $7 an hour.

She rents the car, just to park it outside my house since then, broad goes nowhere.

Who the fuck goes on vacation to look for a place to move to, then sits on a strangers couch watching TV all week?!?!?

 

DUDE-

YOU GOT

PLAYED!

 

 

But I'll still prop you for The Simpsons pic.

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There are no pics.

What did you think she did, pose in front of my couch like it was the Pantheon in the background?!

 

It is not like wifey or me felt the need to preserve the moments so we could cherish them for a lifetime.

 

I never want to see her face again.

 

Of course it may have been a different situation if she was remotely smashable.

She was a 42 year old tired ass broad who looked like a thick 55 yr old Kristen Wiig.

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