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my homey is 24, drives his own car, enrolled in college, blahblah, standup dude, got money.

 

problem is, he is also a virgin.

 

ive suspected it for a while, but he is the type of dude to fly off at the handle when anyone brought it up (due largely i suspect to his lack of sexual intercourse). recently he admitted it to me and a few of his close homies. i feel bad for dude, ive gone out and hit on bitches with him at the club to try to get him laid, but they either arent interested, fall for me or another homey, or somehow he fucks it up. i asked if he was physically capable of banging a bitch, and he almost punched me in the face.

 

ive considered buying him a hooker, but he isnt down for that because he "respects women", whateverthafuck that means.

 

im at a loss for ideas, really the only thing i can think of is to pay some escort up front to meet him at some bar, fuck him, and go along with some lie that shes in for the weekend on business.

 

ive asked a few of my skeezies what to do, but theyre also at a loss for words at the prospect of a 25 year old who hasnt got his dick wet.

 

i know you fags will post a number of retarded images/irrelevant comments, but i figure if i can get one genuine response it'll be worth it.

 

40-year-old-virgin.jpg

 

 

 

go.

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I'm calling your bluff, I think your hypothetical "homey" is you because why would you be so concerned with your boys sex life unless y'all ghey for each other.

 

But for real, if this is true then I feel sorry for dude cause not getting a chance to bang out girls in high school (no pedo) is a real fucking shame. Why can't you have one of your "skeezies" fuck him?

 

Dude is obviously gay, getting pussy is not that hard unless you secretly want man butt (nh) and can't admit your faggotry to yourself.

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ive considered buying him a hooker, but he isnt down for that because he "respects women", whateverthafuck that means.

 

 

Prostitution is an honorable profession. He needs to re-evaluate and realize that theres nothing wrong with helping those ladies get paid.

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he isnt gay. hes a chillin kid, got alot goin for him in his life, just not in the area of females. he "hits" on girls, but that doesnt really seem to be paying off. it seems to me like he lacks the execution.

 

like i said, ive tried introducing him to girls/macking them up for him, but that always seems to backfire. he must clam up or something.

 

why am i so concerned with bro's sexlife?

HE'S A GOOD HOMEY WHO IS 24 AND A VIRGIN!!!

what kind of a friend would i be if i didnt at least try to help out?

 

i offered him a few of my backseat backshots, but he says any cunt that has had my semen leakin out of it, hes not interested in. i told him beggars cant be choosers, he told me fuckoff.

 

im guessing dude is putting pussy on a pedestal because its been so long, and he hasnt yet got a taste. whoever said hes hitting on dimes and might need to downgrade could be spot on. i will bring this up.

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