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Bojangles

I just sharted.

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I have diahhreah like almost all the time ~ being lactose intolerant has given me a steel trap anus. Even when I use to DJ 4 hour sets with no break while drunk off my ass doing blow behind the decks, I couldn't shit and would just force it back up. You guys need to master your body, because sharting was a daily occupational hazard

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Altho I think I have an early memory of shrtingmyself when I was like 4 walking to the bronx zoo ... it probably was just taco butt... I don't think it counts if you are in single didget age...

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And I'm also in the diarrhea all the time group. I've only actually sharted a few times, but mud butt (what earl calls taco butt) is a constant hazard that I need to be wary of.

 

Like Tre, I learned how to control it better by being out at bars, drinking and abusing drugs, although occasionally I still will have to make an emergency bathroom run during these times.

 

false alarm it's just swamp ass.

 

This happens to me alot. Panicking, thinking it's mud butt, but it's really just swamp ass. Uncomfortable, but nothing to worry about

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i am too familiar with this. Last summer, i was driving around with one of my friends (luckily a close friend) when i decided that i wanted to go wash my car. i pulled into one of those DIY car washes after we had gotten a bite to eat at Chipotle. I get out of the car, swipe my credit card in the machine. "farted" thinking it was the beans not agreeing with me, when i feel some warm ass liquid coming down my leg which is about the time i screamed I JUST FUCKING SHIT MY PANTS. i swear anyone within a 3 mile radius of that place must have heard what just happend

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I did this for the first time last week walking back from the toilet in a bar after having a piss. I couldn't believe it had actually happened. I went back in and got my boxers off but they didn't have a bin or anything so I just stuck them behing the toilet. I felt a bit bad for the cunts working there but what can you do? haha

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i occasionally have to run for the nearest toilet and hover my ass above it..i dont want ball herps.

 

According to doctors, hot tubs are where you are most likely to contract a sex disease without doing the sexy part.

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I wipe my ass seems fine and cleaned no itch while sittin on the throne.

 

 

10 minutes later I want to hump the sharp corner of a table with my asshole.

 

Those 10 minutes of no itch are crucial. I shit before leaving the place. What the fuck am I supposed to do then?

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Reading some of these posts reminds me of a time I was driving to Boston. I was half way there and tried to fart. It felt like a little balloon popped underneath me and smelled like hot death. Then the temperature in the caboose went up a little too much so I grabbed a newspaper I had in the front seat, threw it underneath me, and drove the half hour home thinking I had full blown TB. Got home and it was nothing but swamp ass.

 

The human body is full of jokes.

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Not shart related, but poo related & I'm not starting a new thread for it. I took my dog to the beach today, threw the ball around for him to chase, guess he swallowed a bunch of sand each time he picked it up. Guess sand also goes right through a dog, he's beeen making sand doodies all day. And I mean that, horrible farts, but sandy turds coming out that are like wet sand and crumble into littl sand mounds if you try to pick it up, lol!!

Turd.jpg

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Nah, I'm an A-hole, when the dog shits on the sidewalk and I'm just not in the mood to pick it up I look for the footprint the following day.....

diddy-steps-in-dog-poop.jpg

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