Bojangles Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Fuck. First time that's happened since I was about 17. Pretty rough. I lifted my leg to fart and then sheer terror struck my face as I waddled to the bathroom for damage control. No bueno. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
`Melinoe Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Winrar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IHATEU Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 bold honesty... humility? naaaaah... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kai 0ner Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocodile Tears Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I blew out the back of my pants in HS trying to drop a loud mega ton bomb for lulz in class. joke was on me. better yet joke was all over my pants. teach me to wear sandstone khakis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 i shart all the time while i'm painting, always out-of-the-way freight spots or day spots... also after nights of drinking anything labeled "premium malt liquor beverage." Storytime. I go to take pics of this wall I did last year, took a long time and the day i finished it, twas too dark to return. so this fateful day i leave the house walking. i'm wearing white basketball shorts and suede sneakers. the spot is probably 20 minutes from my house. about 15 minutes into the trip i feel "the bubble." yall know what i mean. I ignore it and force it back down in the hopes that i can contain it. by the time i get to the spot i got 30 pounds/square inch of pressure in my shorts, and it's not going anywhere. i decide to squat it out, take pictures and leave. IN that order. Bad idea. As i squat, the moment i pull the shorts down a torrent of shit blows out. it felt awesome. then i looked down afterwards and realized, my shorts were around my ankles and i had straight deuced on my shorts... white shorts. keep in mind i'm 20 minutes from home and nowhere close to anything. oh wait, and in the act of standing up i twist my ankle and steam-press my left shoe into my own puddle of shit. Delicious. Now my shorts and shoes match. I got the fucking picture. I also walked home on the road, dripping shit. Threw away my shoes and shorts and underwear as soon as i got home. I never had a good explanation for what happened to the shoes when my friends asked me, strangely... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 refreshing honesty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbrshmonster Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 is this the remix? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the graff giraffe Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 in 8th grade i was at the supermarket with my girlfriend and i had a great shart while in the aisle. shit was ghetto. luckily it was a girl i was with for a while so i was already farting on her. i just told her what happened and explain what a shart is. ahaha good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
methamphetamyne Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 you are not alone Bo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kious Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 after a long night of cheap beer and the bathroom being occupied, i went outside to piss. being a busy street and not wanting to get bitched at by the owner of the house for pissing outside , i rush it and lo and behold, the back of my britches are warmer and wetter than they should have been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Did it sound like a sumo wrestler ripping a phone book in half or a fat woman spitting ball bearings onto a kettle drum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I blew out the back of my pants in HS trying to drop a loud mega ton bomb for lulz in class. joke was on me. better yet joke was all over my pants. teach me to wear sandstone khakis i did that once in high school same shit tan khakis. luckily it was last period and i was in the bathroom at the time. my boy shit himself at six flags once. he said in the bathroom using his towel to whip himself and made me go buy him a pair of basketball shorts to wear. he lift his shit covered clothes in the stall lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visual_ransom Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visual_ransom Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 why the fuck would anyone find janet jackson attractive? she fucking looks like michael jackson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjKeNNyKiLoz Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sausage party Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 i shart all the time. I never had a good explanation for what happened to the shoes when my friends asked me, strangely... first sentence=awesome second sentence=why not just tell them you pooped yer pants, i mean you ARE telling all of us and we DO know who you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HATER. Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 you are a huge 11 year old Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Did it make a big mess, or was it contained? If it was contained, you didn't shart --you just farted and gave yourself "Taco Butt." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newer Bigger Better Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 When i got bit by a black widow i sharted so many times i basically just decided to spend the rest of the day alternating between the toilet and the shower... my butt ended up being so raw from wiping that i walked bow legged. /nh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Ya ever shit a log so solid it scrapes your asshole for you and as a result No need to WIPE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I got bit by a bunch of jellyfish in VA once, and I spent the entire next day throwing up and shitting at the same time...it was pretty foul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Oxycontin, booze and a dark dirty bar with a stall sans door. That is my story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 i sharted once. in the middle of town..i went to the toilet wiped my ass took my boxers and attempted to flush them knowing and hoping they would clog the drain. then continued about my day with a fresh butthole and the breeze on my balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 when i was 17 i was fed ecstasy and sharted on the way to chill at this hot tub with some chicks at their apartment. we were walking up to the pool area from her place when it happened.... i told them to "go ahead, i'll be right there" and i snuck off behind this giant hedge of bushes. i finished dropping a splatter house deuce all over the ground, right next to some guys patio, and used my newly shat on boxers as TP - which I left for him or the maintenance man to find in the morning. the hot tub was nice that night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakeenyc Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 someone needs to invent a shartguard. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.