Leland Palmer Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I did this for the first time last week walking back from the toilet in a bar after having a piss. I couldn't believe it had actually happened. I went back in and got my boxers off but they didn't have a bin or anything so I just stuck them behing the toilet. I felt a bit bad for the cunts working there but what can you do? haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 i occasionally have to run for the nearest toilet and hover my ass above it..i dont want ball herps. According to doctors, hot tubs are where you are most likely to contract a sex disease without doing the sexy part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RazorRamon Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I swear I almost just sharted but It was a false alarm and I was grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I wipe my ass seems fine and cleaned no itch while sittin on the throne. 10 minutes later I want to hump the sharp corner of a table with my asshole. Those 10 minutes of no itch are crucial. I shit before leaving the place. What the fuck am I supposed to do then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 itchy butthole means take another dump but be carefull push to hard and you get roids.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 get more fiber and drink more water <<<<shitexpert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Reading some of these posts reminds me of a time I was driving to Boston. I was half way there and tried to fart. It felt like a little balloon popped underneath me and smelled like hot death. Then the temperature in the caboose went up a little too much so I grabbed a newspaper I had in the front seat, threw it underneath me, and drove the half hour home thinking I had full blown TB. Got home and it was nothing but swamp ass. The human body is full of jokes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakeenyc Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 its comforting knowing how common these problems are..haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 dr phil is a fraud. unlike me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Dr. Phil is White and has Doctor in his name. What do you have? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 i never claimed to be something i'm not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Not shart related, but poo related & I'm not starting a new thread for it. I took my dog to the beach today, threw the ball around for him to chase, guess he swallowed a bunch of sand each time he picked it up. Guess sand also goes right through a dog, he's beeen making sand doodies all day. And I mean that, horrible farts, but sandy turds coming out that are like wet sand and crumble into littl sand mounds if you try to pick it up, lol!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Let them dry and sell them as Sandies door to door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Nah, I'm an A-hole, when the dog shits on the sidewalk and I'm just not in the mood to pick it up I look for the footprint the following day..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delonemonkey Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 that swap ass reference up there. just to be clear there are 2 kinds, right? swamp ass, which is mostly sweat and then mud butt, which is contained shart, or 'taco butt' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Well, if they have 2 different names and conditions... I think you answered your own question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoopit Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Last time the shart happen to me (3yrs ago) was the morning after a raging party, didnt sleep drank and drugged it up. We had one kid pass out early so we painted some hershey syrup poo-poo stripes on him. We see him wake up go into the bathroom, he cleaned himself up but didn't say nothing. Dude passed back out, so we did it again. This time he metion somthing, how he must have eaten somthing bad, then went passes back out. This time we do it big all over his hands, face, the couch, made a real mess. The next morning he wakes (we're all still up) feeling real embarrest apallogizing to everyone and the whole bit. now at this point I'm laghing so hard that I nonchalantly fart...........and at that moment the joke was no longer funny, irony struck, I sharted. After that i never made fun of somebody shitting their pants. I kept that lil accident a secret for a while.....shitty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 you can smell it when people walk by with taco butt. fucking gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francis buxton Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 I'm at work and the web filters are inhibiting my search, but the information some of you seem to need can be found if you google: ROB AND BIG MANPON That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPS Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 the other day i eat cornflakes and two hours later drank a cheap redbull copy... ten minutes later i had shit foam coming out my ass... weird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 i just sharted ..luckily im at home and i clenched before any damage was done..fuckin win as fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Knight Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 so it wasnt a shart... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 no, no it was ..sure as shit(nice pun brah) it was a shart but a little one..when i squated down on the shitter i pretty much repainted it. so i cuaght it before it fully sharted on my silky boxers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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