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MAYONNAISE IS FUCKING DISGUSTING! but I cant live without it


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our chefs make a new flavoured mayo each week, and its so much nicer than your bog standard, store bought brand. seriously.

 

this week its mustard mayo, last week was a hint of curry and the week before was lemon.

today my lunch was the nicest chicken, bacon and avocado sandwhich on fresh home made white bloomer and im not afraid to say i covered that bad boy in the flavoured mayo...

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you're taking this a bit too far

 

It's never too far.

 

I worked at Subway in high school for a very short 3 days. I was fired/quit when asked to fill the mayo bottle... I have a better stomach for it now but back then I couldn't stand to look at it with out it grossing me out.

 

Anyway I was told I had to fill up the squeeze bottle and my white trash boss thought it would be funny to cut a little slit in the bag so that when I squeezed it out of the bag into the jar it would squirt all over me. The bitch didn't expect my reaction when mayo flew and hit me. I instantly spewed vomit in all of the food containers up front (where you choose all your veggies). She told me to clean it and didn't like that I told her no. She tired pulling the "Do this or you are fired card." I just quit instead.

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Fuck miracle whip, fuck kraft, fuck helmans.

 

1 egg yolk*

1/2 teaspoon fine salt

1/2 teaspoon dry mustard

2 pinches sugar

2 teaspoons fresh squeezed lemon juice

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

1 cup oil, safflower or corn

Directions

In a glass bowl, whisk together egg yolk and dry ingredients. Combine lemon juice and vinegar in a separate bowl then thoroughly whisk half into the yolk mixture. Start whisking briskly, then start adding the oil a few drops at a time until the liquid seems to thicken and lighten a bit, (which means you've got an emulsion on your hands). Once you reach that point you can relax your arm a little (but just a little) and increase the oil flow to a constant (albeit thin) stream. Once half of the oil is in add the rest of the lemon juice mixture.

 

Continue whisking until all of the oil is incorporated. Leave at room temperature for 1 to 2 hours then refrigerate for up to 1 week.

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