need to pass a drug test

[gasfacevictm]

Man up and smoke crack.

That shit is out of your system in like 36 hours.

 

Start dropping large amounts of acid.

That's out of you before the trip is even over.

 

Grow up.

[Pedro dePaca]

DIRTY D(rug test)

[Tuco Salamanca]

any type of exotic mushroom/fungus

[lord_casek]

Look dude, some of these fools are trying to tell you to do some dumb shit.

Some of it will kill you. Do not drink bleach. Ever.

 

http://boards.cannabis.com/drug-testing/141598-sur-gel-passing-method-need-some-input.html

 

Just googled quickly and found that.

[SwampFightOner]

I actually drank a cap full of bleach mixed with a gallon of water once. Was worried about poison ivy in my throat, cause I'm crazy allergic and I could feel my lips swelling

[lord_casek]

I actually drank a cap full of bleach mixed with a gallon of water once. Was worried about poison ivy in my throat, cause I'm crazy allergic and I could feel my lips swelling

 

 

My girlfriend in hs drank some bleach once. "To kill the baby".

 

Not cool.

[SwampFightOner]

Yeahhhh, that's a bad look

[BELTOLEUM]

1 cup of vinegar, mix it with 20oz coke

to dilute the flavor...and take a vitamin c

tablet

[gramatikalerror]

The best way imo is the asprin method. GOOGLE. but in short, you take about 8 asprin in the span of like 2 hours (didn't say it was healthy). you drink a SHIT load of gatorade it can be any liguid really but i used gatorade. its uncomfortable as shit but worked for the 2 years i was on probation. also worked at the drug/alcohol meetings. dont try to get it on your 1st try you need to practice. buy the drug strips and test yourself. the asprin causes a false negative on the test strips, my boy did this and passed the test to be a cook county sheriff. he had stopped for about a week before hand.

[KINGSHITOFFUCKMOUNTAIN]

TLDNR

 

Kill yourself

 

/thread

[ohnoone]

casek that link you posted to back up your surgel claim basically had a bunch of morons saying that surgel and all that jello shit worked and some medical professionals and those in the know explaining in no uncertain terms why it isnt the surgel at all.

 

Im quoting, wall of text ahead:

 

 

Those that have passed usually are also diluting at the same time they take the certo. Many will mix it into a bottle of gatorade then fill the bottle with water and drink it down, which ends up being about the fluid amount used in dilution.

 

Certo can also have a slight diuretic effect. Finally, certo contains fruit pectin, which is a form of soluble fiber. I have called the makers of certo, which I think is Kraft, and asked them how much soluble fiber is in a box of certo. All they can tell me is that it has soluble fiber in the form of pectin but they don't know how much (at least the operators for the 800 number didn't have access to that info). In fact, I think the product code is this: 4300029320. See, on the box it says less than 1 gram per serving but there are 64 servings in a box. So that could be anywhere from nearly 0 to almost 64 grams.

 

Why is soluble fiber important. Your body eliminates most THC metabolites through renal and hepatic elimination (BenDover, that would be your kidneys and liver). Hepatic elimination results in THC metabolites excreted through your feces. Soluble fiber can help prevent these metabolites from being reabsorbed from your feces back into your body. Next, soluble fiber removes bile from your intestine. Your body must then replace the bile so your body pulls cholesterol from the blood to make bile. This process can help make more THC metabolites available for elimination by the liver and less metabolites available for elimination by the kidneys thus less in the urine.

 

So, most people who pass using certo are probably passing because they are diluting and adding soluble fiber to the dilution process.

[ohnoone]

also, the only other topic i can think of where people come up with the most fucked up misinformation to spread with reckless abandon is " how to keep from getting pregnant"

 

 

EVERYONE IS A SCIENTIST.

[volcom8811]

just bribe the person...i mean you can stop buying $70 eights for once and pay em off?

[gasfacevictm]

NONE OF THIS SHIT WORKS AT ALL.

If your boy passed because he did any of this shit aside from using someone else's piss, he's lying or the test was weak.

 

Now on to a better topic:

 

HOW DO I MAKES TEH KRINKZ?

[lord_casek]

casek that link you posted to back up your surgel claim basically had a bunch of morons saying that surgel and all that jello shit worked and some medical professionals and those in the know explaining in no uncertain terms why it isnt the surgel at all.

 

Im quoting, wall of text ahead:

 

 

Those that have passed usually are also diluting at the same time they take the certo. Many will mix it into a bottle of gatorade then fill the bottle with water and drink it down, which ends up being about the fluid amount used in dilution.

 

Certo can also have a slight diuretic effect. Finally, certo contains fruit pectin, which is a form of soluble fiber. I have called the makers of certo, which I think is Kraft, and asked them how much soluble fiber is in a box of certo. All they can tell me is that it has soluble fiber in the form of pectin but they don't know how much (at least the operators for the 800 number didn't have access to that info). In fact, I think the product code is this: 4300029320. See, on the box it says less than 1 gram per serving but there are 64 servings in a box. So that could be anywhere from nearly 0 to almost 64 grams.

 

Why is soluble fiber important. Your body eliminates most THC metabolites through renal and hepatic elimination (BenDover, that would be your kidneys and liver). Hepatic elimination results in THC metabolites excreted through your feces. Soluble fiber can help prevent these metabolites from being reabsorbed from your feces back into your body. Next, soluble fiber removes bile from your intestine. Your body must then replace the bile so your body pulls cholesterol from the blood to make bile. This process can help make more THC metabolites available for elimination by the liver and less metabolites available for elimination by the kidneys thus less in the urine.

 

So, most people who pass using certo are probably passing because they are diluting and adding soluble fiber to the dilution process.

 

 

Look, all I know is that this crackhead kid across the road from my house uses it to pass five panels and I talked to a chemist who works in a drug lab about the sur gel method and he said it works, although some places do test for the metabolites and can detect them despite using sur gel.

 

I do know that fake urine does not work as it does not contain the creatine amounts your body naturally produces, etc.

[lord_casek]

NONE OF THIS SHIT WORKS AT ALL.

If your boy passed because he did any of this shit aside from using someone else's piss, he's lying or the test was weak.

 

Now on to a better topic:

 

HOW DO I MAKES TEH KRINKZ?

 

 

I know for a fact that it does work. Otherwise, crackhead would have been detected and would have been in prison a long time ago.

 

Yes, I know cocaine goes away within a day or so. He smokes a lot of weed, too.

[abcs]

Ok. Serious top tip. Ive done some reading that suggests if you only smoke occasionally

weed is out of your system in 3 days. Now that doesn't feel quite right to me. I wouldnt

bank my freedom against 3 days. If you smoke all the time and are fat you are looking at

that month. Im skinny with a high metabolism 6 feet and 155 lbs, on probation and wont

give myself less than 25 days for peace of mind moreso than anything. Everything i said

you can find in Erowid and elsewhere.

 

I failed a drug test 8.5 days after blowing 4 lines of coke. This was years ago but it

was a standard dipstick test. Nothing fancy. It was at a special drug test lab i got sent

to by a district court. The girl that tested me had been a really smart but spacey

nerd i went to high school with. People mostly ignored her or gave her a hard time

but I worked with her on a class project and afterward was always nice to her.

My probation officer never mentioned that i failed for benzos and cocaine and that

lady didn't like me.

Moral of the story: Be nice to people.

[gasfacevictm]

Ok. Serious top tip. Ive done some reading that suggests if you only smoke occasionally

weed is out of your system in 3 days. Now that doesn't feel quite right to me. I wouldnt

bank my freedom against 3 days. If you smoke all the time and are fat you are looking at

that month. Im skinny with a high metabolism 6 feet and 155 lbs, on probation and wont

give myself less than 25 days for peace of mind moreso than anything. Everything i said

you can find in Erowid and elsewhere.

 

 

I've read that a well.

I've also read about people trying to workout to burn the fat faster and speed up the detox, but they say that only ends up making you piss out the fat cells that have the cannabinoids or whatever attached to them and you'll blast a positive result.

 

Best bet, abstain when you know you have a test to take.

It's not fucking hard to stop smoking weed or whatever for a month.

The rest of the shit...if you do it enough to not pass a monthly piss test, you got bigger problems than a piss test.

[Juca]

Simple- don't do drugs. Works every time.

 

:p good words!

[RIPS]

Is the dude with the beard and the hat a jew?

[gramatikalerror]

for the last year of my probation (in chicago not some small town) i had to drop EVERY month. and every month i passed using the asprin method. i didnt say it takes the thc out. its masks it and produces a FALSE negative. do it yourselfs, look up the asprin method, buy some thc test strips online like 10cents a piece. smoke. rest for 2 days and try it. instead of one line (which means positive) youll get 2 which means negative IF you did it right. ive done this at least 18 times. FYI if its for a job take someone elses piss. by law in chicago at least you cant be observed pissing in the cup. and i know my boy didnt fib, he works with me and i overlooked his whole process making sure he did it right. another tidbit creatin helps a lot. when you dilute you dilute everything including specfic gravity you got in your piss and thing you should naturally have. creatine helps make those levels not looks so drastic. be warned you will be shitting out a fucking storm. you could also load up on red meat if you dont want creatine. most thgose detox drinks get caught because of that, they flush everything out and you still get caught up.

[DIRTY D]

okay so i took the drink alot alot of cranberry juice and excercise attempt. i also sat in the sauna trying to sweat it out all week. i bought a home drug test and i ended up failing that shit still. tomorrow is the main drug test and im going with the aspirin method' i'll keep you guys updated. wish me luck.

[Pedro dePaca]

yeah you're fucked

[gasfacevictm]

Give them a sperm sample instead and see if they just make you leave.

[*PROTOCOL*]

Put salt under your fingernails, pee on them as you pee into cup.

[!@#$%]

i passed using ready clean about 6 years ago, supposedly since then their formula is even better.

that said, i followed the directions to a T

which meant clean for 48hours in advance, drink the drink, follow wth water and you have a 6 hour window

i was smoking tons btw.

 

 

if you take someone else's piss, BE SURE TO KEEP IT AT BODY TEMP

this means keeping the container in or directly next to the warmest place on your body, like next to your sac, or getting a special warmer and temp gauge.

the temp is absolutely critical.

 

i've also heard you can drink to much water and fail by having a too dilute sample.

 

THC stores in fat, so i WOULD NOT try a sauna or exercise, that might make shtloads of it start excreting.

just behave normally.

[Spitfire15]

I just had a job interview last week. If Im hired ill probably have to be drug tested. Guess how I plan on passing? By not being a dumb jew and getting high even though I know its coming, unlike some of you retards..

 

[morton]

I used to buy drug test kits at the pharmacy and test myself before taking the real test.

 

This was for work purposes and I knew when the tests were coming and had some control over whether or not I would need to take them.

 

I found knowing that I could pass to be a positive contribution to my piece of mind.

[!@#$%]

i agree morton,

it's actually fun to beat the system. i don't like to play by the rules.

maybe some of you aren't familiar with what it's like to do whatever the fuck you want and get away with it, but it's nice to be totally in control regardless of what they try to do to invade our privacy.

 

fuck them and their intrusion into my life.

knowing how to do crime isn't enough

knowing how to do it and get away with it is where it's at.

[jugzer]