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Don't step on the ducks in heaven br0

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So 3 friends die in a car crash and goto heaven together. They get there and are saying "wow this is pretty nice, this isn't so bad, pretty cool etc.."


god tells them " yeah it's pretty nice and will stay enjoyable as long as you don't step on the ducks" ( there are lil ducks walking around everywhere) "if you step on the ducks bad things will happen..."


the next day, the 3 friends meet up. 2 are waiting for their buddy who is running late. "where the fuck is this guy, what's taking so long?" he finally arrives but has a huge ugly fat chick chainedto him for eternity.


"man WTF happened? What is this shit about?"

" I stepped on one of the ducks guys, now I got this ugly fat chick chained to me forever"


the second day the friends meet up again. This time only 1 guy is there waiting on the other 2. This day both of the late guys have ugly fat chicks chained to them for eternity.


"fuck man, you stepped on a duck too?"

"yup now I gotta ugly fat chick chained to me for eternity"



the third day the 2 guys with the ugly fat chicks arrive and the guy without is running late. He finally arrives and has Jessica Alba chained to him!


"dude what the hell!? What happened for you to get gained to HER?!"










The third guy smugly replied "she stepped on a duck."









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I met a hooker, she said she'd do anything for 50 bucks.

I pulled out a $50 and said "here, paint my house"



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