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nsmbfan

Whats the best way to commit suicide when you're under 13?

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i just found this when i googled "when you drown you feel no pain" (link: http://www.google.com/#hl=en&source=hp&q=when+you+drown+you+feel+no+pain&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=CRvtvNE98TJzEOI7EM4O98dEEAAAAqgQFT9BSHPw&pbx=1&fp=93c3c78db929eee0).... I was seeing if that was true or not, unrelated, something BOATS N HOES said...

 

 

BUT

 

I saw the first result and it actually shocked me:

 

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

 

http://www.mouchette.org/suicide/answers.php3

 

 

I guess at some point everyone contemplates that shit, but when you're under 13? FUUUUU

 

 

 

sorry had to share, the internet shocked me today. i thought I was immune to this shit by now.

 

post more shock

 

for shock value.

 

 

Timbaland-Shock_Value_%28Alt_Cover%29.jpg

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If I ever wanted to commit suicide I would rob a bank. If I get caught, I die in a blaze of glory and not like some emo pussy. If I get away with it, fuck suicide, I'm rich!

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hope so. that shit sounds fucking metal.

 

:lol:

 

 

1-make a noose out of piano wire

2-place around your neck and stand on a tall chair

3-super glue your hands to the sides of your head

4-step off chair

 

 

when police get there it will look like you ripped your own head off

metal.

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"holy shit! he ripped his own fucking head off"

 

i know someone knows the pic im talking about

 

 

i do

:lol:

 

 

 

 

 

also, you may not feel pain when drowning but its one of the scariest things in the world.

when i was about 7 i dove into a pool and came up under a cement wet bar, hit my head and thought i was upsidown and swam the other way and hit bottom, nobody could see me and i blacked out. cool story, i know. but seriously, fuck drowning. im over it now, but id rather freeze to death then drown.

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If I ever wanted to commit suicide I would rob a bank. If I get caught, I die in a blaze of glory and not like some emo pussy. If I get away with it, fuck suicide, I'm rich!

 

I like this... don't get me wrong. Only problem is most people don't rob a bank and get rich. Not impromptu and especially not alone. You ever notice how police are looking for someone thats robbing banks and not a bank? Its probably because all they are getting is a few thousand dollars and thats not even hood rich. Its fucked up when you can rob a bank and you still cant afford a used Ford Probe.

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Rip_20it_20off.gif

 

sooooo awesome.

 

or

 

What you need: hands.

 

How to do it: strangling yourself with your own hands has long been thought impossible because when your body stops getting enough oxygen, you pass out and start breathing normally again. Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing. You're the one who has to deal with the embarrassment of having the paramedics finding your dumb ass passed out on the floor in a puddle of your own drool, as they begrudgingly take you to the hospital where the doctors would be so disappointed that one of them might try to strangle you themselves. And if they don't, give me a call; I will. Even the late Vincent Price strangled himself to death. Either that or lung cancer, but I can't be bothered to look it up. Eat shit.

 

What you need: a hooker, $0.75.

 

How to do it: find a hooker and inquire about her "ass buffet." If she doesn't know what you're talking about, punch her. If she does know what you're talking about, she shouldn't charge you more than 75 cents to lick her ass. You may even get away with not having to pay her since technically it's not sex (unless you're gay, but I'm not sure if it counts if it's a woman). Fair warning: not paying a hooker is considered shoplifting. Once you've done the (mis)deed, you may want to have some alcohol nearby. Make sure it's something strong like turpentine, because you'll be tasting a mouth full of funk and hookers don't always shit properly depending on their clientele. The tingling feeling in your mouth means the disease is working. Just sit back and relax while your penis falls off and you break out in hives. Then just wait a few months and if the other diseases don't get to you first, the AIDS will. Talk about a cheap suicide! At 75 cents, you can't afford not to kill yourself!

 

What you need: a tub, enough beans to fill said tub.

 

How to do it: just dig in, you chunky son of a bitch! Keep eating until you can't possibly eat anymore, then eat some more. Your gut will rupture and you will shit yourself. The cool thing about this method is that it's not only disgusting to clean up, but you'll probably be so bloated from the beans (choose Van Camp's by the way, not Bush's baked beans unless you like the taste of beans pickled in ball sweat) that you probably won't fit in the casket without some serious reconstructive surgery. Guess who's footing the bill for that one? That's right: friends and family. Just kidding. You have no friends.

 

stolen/

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