Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
JoeyLawrence

FRAT BOY ANTHEM. (soooo true)

Recommended Posts

I am a frat guy. I live in a frat house. I go to frat parties. I fight. I especially like to fight independents. I think if independents were cool they would have pledged a frat in the first place. I know that independents are jealous of my social life. I believe that I am more fun and can party harder than any GDI. I am exclusive. I run dances. I am the brains behind Spring Break. I am the reason road trips exist. I hope you enjoyed my homecoming party last Friday. I can recite the Greek alphabet before the fire of a match burns out. I can rattle off all of my founding fathers as well as my fraternity obligations, but I don't know the words to my school song or my accounting prof's last name. I don't go to class. I never study. I devise elaborate schemes to cheat on my exams. I don't buy books. I have a 1.6 GPA. I have an endless supply of doctor notes from the campus health center. I will take the job you should have gotten. I will be your boss. I can bullshit better and faster. I am thankful that my after graduation. I give more than $1,000 of my parents' money in social dues each year to promote my frat's alcoholism problem. I drink because I am cool. I drink a lot because I am cooler than you. I serve alcohol to minors. I urinate in public. I do keg stands and have keg parties. I am the master at Indians. I own you in quarters. I have never not gotten shitty in the game "I never". If I can't find my beer bong I know I can find one next door. I don't binge drink-I continually drink. I have a pre-funk for the "pre-funk". I can dance. I wear my letters. I billboard my frat on sweatshirts. Most of my T-shirts are sorority T-shirts to show all my brothers how many bitches I have tagged. I wear long sleeved T-shirts under short sleeved T's. I own many plaid button-downs. I tuck in my shirt. I own one baseball hat. I live in my khakis. I wear Timberlands in the winter and sandals in the summer. Sometimes I wear sandals in the winter because I can. I drive a sports utility vehicle with a bike rack. I play with my dog in the front lawn. My hair is a mess yet totally in style. I sometimes don't shave

for weeks at a time. I am vogue. Ladies love me, but more importantly, I know ladies love me. I will never commit to just one girl. If I pretend to commit to one girl, it is just so I can

have sex whenever I want it (plus I cheat on her). I don't wear condoms because it doesn't feel as good. I believe a girl gives up her right to say "no" if she is in my frat house after 1:30 a.m. I am shady. I am also sketchy. I don't care about what girls have to say. I only care about me. I will say anything to get a girl into bed. I will say even more to get a freshman girl in bed because I know she'll believe it. I am loud and obnoxious wherever I go in public. I live in filth. I enjoy the smell of old beer in carpet. I prefer a dingy frat house to a clean apartment. I think living among rodents builds character. I leave the seat up. I can't clean up after myself. I put on a great front for parent's weekend. No one can see through me. I know every word to every song by Willie Nelson, David Alan Coe, Dave Matthews Band (so I can get laid) and the Greatful Dead. I will sing them for you if I haven't picked up by nights end. I can't remember my parents home phone number, but I do know every digit to their calling card number. I haze my pledges. I make them clean my house. I emotionally scar them for life. I abuse them physically. I make them cry. I then call them wimps. I later call them my brother if they don't de-pledge along the way. I know hell week. I am everything that is wrong in America. I am everything you wish you could be. I am a Frat Guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

frats are fuckin gay. but oh well, i brush them off and be glad that i dont have to buy my friends like those bitches.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my cousin is part of a fraternity. he said thats a lot of frat guys smoke a lot of weed and do a lot of E. doesn't surprise me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Frats are for faggots who cant make friends and they are full of hardcore posers all the frat kids who are at my school are pussies and couldnt beat up a sorority girl one on one unless their frat friends jump in. same goes for you sound like a major fucking loser so go get trendy and remain a pussy. I reallyhope your joking man game over.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah frats suck...about the 1.6 gpa...they at least need a 2 after 2 semesters to stay in college where im at...im making a 1.9 right now...they (university) gathered up all the students making 2.0 and below and talked shit to us for a few hours on sunday....fuck them and the waste of my time....i know what i need to do....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i think frat boys are cool , beer , weed , women , friends , parties , freshmen:cool: filth .........whats not to like

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest HESHIANDET

a few years ago i watched a frat house burn down. it was fucking great. meatheads were crying, i was reveling....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Good Morning Captain

The first college I went to was very frat oriented. Being there I noticed that a large portion of frat guys are the most socially inept people on campus. Alot of them lack any amount of self confidence or social skills to make friends on their own so they get mommy and daddy to pay their dues and whamo suddenly they are in a frat and have friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

frats are just high school mentality for another 4 years... please try to mature. And yes, frats get the dick from each other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I kicked 3 frat boys asses in a drinking contest when a few days after my 15th birthday. My cousin is still very proud of me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great little satire piece Popgun, but I take offense at the use of the Dead for your little tale. Have a little respect for us hippies.:crazy:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by GrImeY

Frats are for faggots who cant make friends and they are full of hardcore posers all the frat kids who are at my school are pussies and couldnt beat up a sorority girl one on one unless their frat friends jump in. same goes for you sound like a major fucking loser so go get trendy and remain a pussy. I reallyhope your joking man game over.

 

word kid you got it. frats are for highschool faggots who couldent make any friends so they join up with them cats in hope of recovery..fuck frats theyre for mindless fucks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just got some abercrombie cargo shorts that come all frayed and cut-off at the bottom...they're gonna kick some ass with my pale yellow polo shirt collection in the spring. ahahaha fratboy life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i dont think we have frats up here, maybe im wrong but ive never seen a frat house in person. although my cousin was a frat boy at harvard.... but he knows hes a bitch, i hassle him all the time about it, and i kick his ass im drinking games every time we meet. but hes a harvard doctor and im jealous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest hipnos

frats are only good for taking alcohol from and then leaving.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×