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JUST THE TIP

Today I bought my boss a blowjob from a hooker as a gift

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Long story short, the fella that owns the shop I work at is in a wheelchair. He's a really good dude. He's also pervy as fuck. I'm a pretty pervy and shameless individual, so him and I get along great. We're both about being a total shitbag, but at the same time getting paid and handling business. I know that sounds really niggerish, but I don't know how else to put it.

 

Anywho

 

He's in a wheelchair.

 

A hooker was walking down the block, and a co-worker informed me that said women was a known prostitute in the neighborhood. I told my boss I was gonna buy him a blowjob and he started to laugh.

 

"I'm not fuckin joking, dude, peep game, boss.."

 

"You working?", I asked as she strolled by.

 

"Yeh"

 

"How much for a...blowjob?"

 

"$30"

 

"Cool, let's do it in the back of the shop, follow me."

 

I grabbed my boss's chair and started to push him inside the shop, and the hooker then realized she was gonna suck the cock of Captain Cripple.

 

"Uhh....I'm gonna....HIM?"

 

"Yeah, for sure!", I replied with a huge shit eating grin

 

"Are you sure it's OK, i mean, this is a business"

 

"YO, I'm the fuckin owner, dont even trip!"

 

I pushed him through the waiting area of the shop, and we went in the back. I gave him $40 and told him to have fun.

 

Many many many lulz were had all day long due to this adventure. He tried to pay me back, but I refused, "dude, that was $100 worth of laughs and it only cost me $40, don't even fuckin sweat it"

 

"Good lookin out."

 

----

 

Karma like a motha fucka

 

 

PS: chopsticks, if you're reading this - please believe this chick is going to suck your dick when you come to SD.

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"captain cripple"?

haah

 

 

youre a great guy for doing that

 

 

 

 

please describe said hooker, so i can get a visual and a boner

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Dear R@ndom,

 

Can't believe I'm saying this but you sound like way more of a faggot for the "Where's the nohomo bro?" It's a funny story plain and simple.

 

DICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICK

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

You're a faggot

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"captain cripple"?

haah

 

 

youre a great guy for doing that

 

 

 

 

please describe said hooker, so i can get a visual and a boner

 

mid to late 30s. white. thin. somewhat well dressed in a skirt and tank top. she was pretty tan and her teeth weren't too disgusting.

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not trying to be a DICK, but is your boss paralyzed from the waist down?

 

if so, i didnt know they could get it up

 

it mustve been jesus

 

good on you though

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he isnt paralyzed. he has MS and is learning to walk again. he can still get his dick hard. in fact, one of the old filipino chicks at his physical therapy home blow him on a regular basis after they shower him. he introduced me to her. she's a really nice gal.

 

the other day his stripper ex-wife was in town and they needed a ride back to the shop, so i picked them up. i drive a two seater pickup, so she had to sit on his lap while we drove to work. she has enormous fake tits, and to see her, all dolled up, sitting on his crippled lap in my piece of shit pickup, made me lulz like a mother fucker.

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Dow I'm moving down there next week and I'm gonna live with you, sorry to inform you on such short notice but I feel raided house eviction status is fully accecptable.

 

Ps...

 

I have sleeping bag so any area of the floor my short body will fit will be my sleeping quarters, fuck yo couch!

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Dear R@ndom,

 

Can't believe I'm saying this but you sound like way more of a faggot for the "Where's the nohomo bro?" It's a funny story plain and simple.

 

DICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICKDICK

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

You're a faggot

 

Calm down dude, I can see your visibly upset over the internets

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ps

 

when i met mudpuddles, she spent half the time complaining about how lame her husband is (tuanie tuan). she also told me he recycles scrap metal for a living and cries a lot (like, literally, he cries over dumb shit).

 

hahahah

 

faggot

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tuanie, if youre reading this. be sure to save the metal from the ball peen hammers that crack your head if you're stupid enough to go to you-know-where in SF next weekend.

 

you done fucked up.

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I endorse this thread. However I do not endorse man tears.

 

Tell your boss I said G'day and slap his Pinoy helper on the butt for me.

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