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and you will know our name by the trail of dead


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despite what many may think, im not at all an angry guy. for the most part i think that everything is funny and take things with a grain of salt. i dont let people bother me and unless im extremely provoked i never get violent. which is why as i sit here, its hard for me to understand how i feel right now. without going into any great detail as to why, sufficive to say its worthy of the emotion. but its still new to me. this is perhaps the first time in my life, or atleast my adult life, where ive been confronted with a situation that perhaps truly called for ignorant, violent and brutal retribution. one of two scenarios ive ever been able to come up with that qualified for such a thing. its leaving me confused. i know this is making no sense, but its my meager attempt to sort it out... it sort of calls into play my system of beliefs and what i think that 'revenge' can ever accomplish. honestly, im too smart for that shit. i could be a devious little bastard, but better judgement has never allowed such a thing. now however, is the time for it, and im almost at a loss. maybe its because i know i cant do anything at this moment, so its instilling a level of helplessness in me. or maybe its because im not accustomed to such a thing. being violent in response to an attack is one thing, being violent as an offense is not who i am. i dont start fights. i sit in the corner laughing at those that do, then when it gets to close to me, i break a bottle over someones head and leave. now though, i have to break the bottle and slit the throat and i dont know....

sorry, i know this shit makes no sense, but i just felt i had to write it at the moment. dont bother replying with suggestions for my situation, the vaugeness of my explanation has rendered any attempt futile, but if anyone wants to share some sort of story about coming to terms with a situation, or i dont know, anything that means something... feel free.... i could use something of substance to read...id rather it not be a thread about fighting or shit like that, this isnt a fighting situation, its well, well beyond that.

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at the crossroads...the ol' fork in the road...recent events in my life are stacking against the future...and i feel a test is upon me...

 

and it has to do with evil money...so i am opening a fund...email me about donations...KIDDING...no handouts accepted...money just sucks:spent: :heated: :lol: :crazy:

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Originally posted by beardo

think of what i would do, and dont do that. haha

 

haha, dont worry, that policy is already in place. infact, you are pretty much the person i take all my life direction from. i just watch you, then disregard everything i see. i think my letters reflect it well. :o

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seeking....is this "situation" you are in one of those situations where you know you would beat the crap outta somebody, but you think that the retalliation on you or your family might be worse seeing that the said person in question is a known psychopath? I'm sorta confused on your topic, but personally, I think I'm sorta the same type of person you are. I generally laugh at fights and when kids start problems with me, I usually handle myself in a mature way without being injured, or getting in law troubles. Im not saying that I'm a wimp by anymeans....I think that people who are wimps wouldnt know how to react in a wise way, and thus bring themselves more pain then they would have endured if they thought the situation out. All I know is that I've joked around many many many times, saying things such as, "Ill kill you!" and making empty threats towards people that I dont really care for, and usually I'll just throw the problem out of my mind and move on in my life. There has been one situation in my life where revenge was definitely the answer, and I still have yet to take care of the person in question. This is not to say that a day doesnt go by with out me thinking of the perfect most vendictive revenge ever. Ive even seriously thought of murder to deal with this situation, but it is still in the process of being solved.

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Revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

Famous Chinese proverb.

It means let time pass, don't retaliate while emotional. If, in a few weeks, you still want somebody fucked up, plan it well, and carry out your plan, at a time when logic is ruling your mind, not emotions.

From a tactical standpoint, if whoever fucked with you is at all worried about your reaction, he'll get less and less worried (and careful) with each passing week, thinking you're letting it slide. Then his guard is down.

Other ramifications may occur to you during your cooling off period, such as how to set him up better, or how much shit you could face from the law if you go with plan A.

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Guest BROWNer

i would take c.ass's advice personally....

revenge is not good when you're ready to

trash somebody.......i always ponder

the worst possible outcome of such action,

which would be actually killing somebody

in a fight...whether it was intentional, or

worse, unintentional, bottom line is you've

destroyed your life. i don't know the situation,

but...................be careful.

good luck.

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thanks for the replies, but again, i wasnt really looking for advice. its not a situation that can be handled right now due to geographical imposabilities anyway. its not a fear of retribution and it wouldnt be a fight. fighting solves very little. fighting also inplies that its a two sided battle. this would not be.

see, even saying that shit sounds dumb to me. i feel like an asshole saying it. like i think im some fucking rambo-mafia-gangster or some shit. nonsense. i may have an arsenal of guns, but i have them as much to force myself to ponder the idea of life vs. destruction, as i do for any notion of 'protection.' i know how stupid violence is. i know how fruitless being angry is, or even considering the idea of 'revenge.' thats what im really dealing with. do i want to allow a demon to live in my heart for as long as it takes to see things through? im not so sure that i do. it seems to me that by carrying the burden with me, i would be just adding another victim to the list of those already involved.

about 7 years ago someone stole my moms car. while they got caught for it, they got off on a technicality. this always annoyed me. my response? well, i'll just get a grenade, throw it through his car window, and that will be that. what stopped me? ive yet to come across someone willing to sell me grenades (yes, ive looked, yes im still looking.) point is ive carried that anger with me for years. for what? a car? its the only anger i havent let go of and to be honest, i wasnt even that pissed. it just seemed like the 'right' thing to do. it wasnt a moral dilemna, it wasnt a legal dilemna, it was a rational and natural response (or so i thought.) thats just how i deal with things. swift, precise and final. im not an irrational person. i try to follow what is 'right' and i dont make things into emotional problems. its one of the reasons i was drawn to zen buddhism. the idea that you just go about your busines with no emotional attachment to what must be done. like a samurai. i dont know... sorry im just babbeling alot, ive just got alot on my mind today. whatever.

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pretty vauge, everything depends on the person and what they have done.....i can tell you at a bad point in my life i ended up standing in a yard with a knife, waiting for a person who had crossed me to come out from hiding.....i waited for about a minute and then realized what i was doing, if i had stabbed the guy i may have gotten in a lot of trouble, if i had killed the guy i wouldnt even be here right now, neither situation was worth it for me and i walked away and let the peice of shit go free.....it angered me for a long time that i made that choice and it made me feel like a coward but after a few months i came back to what i realized while standing, waiting for that person to come out.....that regardless of what the person did to me my life was worth more than seeing him maimed or dead, i would have been happy for a moment but that would have been gone the minute i was talking to my family though plexiglass.....revenge in most cases will end up hurting you more than the other person, look at their life.....youd probably just be putting them out of their misery......

 

the only time anything would be different would be an act against a loved one.....

 

its scattered but i hope it helped a little.....

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My ex-roomate was a homey from way back. I moved out of town after high-school and was living on my own. He wanted to get a place with me up here and get started on some road other than the one leading to crack-addiction. Towards the end of our lease this motherfucker had me wanting to rip off his head and shit down his neck. He owed me money- destroyed the apartment and stole shit regularly- and was so pussy-faced-passive-agressive I knew a physical confrontation would be started entirely by me, and not only would he be in the hospital- I would be in jail cause he would definately press charges. This was no longer high-school, and I don't play that shit.-So I plotted, and plotted and plotted. I managed to get an affidavit removing him from the lease and changed the locks. I called him up at the place he was staying and told him he needed to pick up his shit before someone else came and got it. I put his shit outside, kept what I wanted, locked the doors and got out of town. He could not legally enter my apartment without me being there, nor without a police escort. I ended up with a decent entertainment center, new TV, leather couches and a fooseball-table. He now lives with mommy who let all that shit slide bcause she thought I was "trying to help her teach him a lesson about responsibility." HAHA!! Sometimes, self-control can be the best weapon.

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revenge. sometimes it pushes us to do crazy things even when we aren't really angry. i shot out my neighbors car window with a bb gun because he backed up into my garage. i didn't give a fuck about the garage but shooting his window out seemed the best thing to do. eventually the police came to my house since it was known where the delinquent lived and me and my friend were turned on each other which lead to us never speaking again.

 

i can imagine that you feel powerless over the situation and getting revenge is kind of a way of reestablishing your confidence. realise that we are powerless and that we don't dish out the blows, life does. the learning process is knowing how to take the jabs and hooks and turn thoughs into misses and blocks. we are all controlled by karma. sometimes that karma can be us beating the fuck out of that person or it can be dude getting hit by a car. the thoughts of revenge alone effect our karma so don't let this thing pull you into it.

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I'm not sure I've ever seen you as not being and angry, fly off the handle, violent guy but... here are some universal truths

 

 

if you've never been 'devious' then the only thing you have going for you is suprise...

 

for some, revenge comes naturally...

 

if you 'rarely get physical' then fighting should be AT LEAST 3rd on the list...

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I don't know if this related at all to your issues, but lately alot of people I work with have been labelling me as the 'negative' one. This one girl freaked out on me because I criticized something, saying that I'm always negative, and "she's not the only one who thinks so" - meaning, people are getting busy talking shit about me.

Now I feel cornered by my whole department - in a job that I don't even care about!. I feel like the asshole, the bitchy one that people are going to avoid. This person decided to attack me outta nowhere, out of a grudge for me. I have total reason to make her life completely miserable - I could just outright be a snotty, snide, sarcastic bitch to her face and make her hate every minute of her job - because she's the unhappy one, not me. Revenge would be so sweet at this point - and I'm always conjuring up little things that would really piss her off. I could just make fun of her for buying those stupid heely's shoes and that would be enough to entertain me for a month!

 

And why is it that I always think up the good comebacks long after the argument is over with?

 

But it's a work situation (I do not get along with coworkers too well in general) - and I'm putting a little too much stock in being favorable to people that I don't even really give a shit about. I'm really trying hard to let things roll off and be neutral about it all.

 

I am a total spaz - if someone pisses me off, I start to boil if they simply enter the room. I imagine how easy it would be for me to kick their ass and settle it in a matter of minutes (especially if it's another girl, even if she's bigger) - I know how to fight, even though it's never resulted in that, thank god! I am set off very easily, and I feel it's a part of my personality that I try to work on all the time, but it will always be a part of me. graff really helps me work out my "rage"...

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