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seeking

and you will know our name by the trail of dead

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despite what many may think, im not at all an angry guy. for the most part i think that everything is funny and take things with a grain of salt. i dont let people bother me and unless im extremely provoked i never get violent. which is why as i sit here, its hard for me to understand how i feel right now. without going into any great detail as to why, sufficive to say its worthy of the emotion. but its still new to me. this is perhaps the first time in my life, or atleast my adult life, where ive been confronted with a situation that perhaps truly called for ignorant, violent and brutal retribution. one of two scenarios ive ever been able to come up with that qualified for such a thing. its leaving me confused. i know this is making no sense, but its my meager attempt to sort it out... it sort of calls into play my system of beliefs and what i think that 'revenge' can ever accomplish. honestly, im too smart for that shit. i could be a devious little bastard, but better judgement has never allowed such a thing. now however, is the time for it, and im almost at a loss. maybe its because i know i cant do anything at this moment, so its instilling a level of helplessness in me. or maybe its because im not accustomed to such a thing. being violent in response to an attack is one thing, being violent as an offense is not who i am. i dont start fights. i sit in the corner laughing at those that do, then when it gets to close to me, i break a bottle over someones head and leave. now though, i have to break the bottle and slit the throat and i dont know....

sorry, i know this shit makes no sense, but i just felt i had to write it at the moment. dont bother replying with suggestions for my situation, the vaugeness of my explanation has rendered any attempt futile, but if anyone wants to share some sort of story about coming to terms with a situation, or i dont know, anything that means something... feel free.... i could use something of substance to read...id rather it not be a thread about fighting or shit like that, this isnt a fighting situation, its well, well beyond that.

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i think its all the creed youve been listening too. :crazy:

 

get at me sometime seeking, i know what youre going through.

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at the crossroads...the ol' fork in the road...recent events in my life are stacking against the future...and i feel a test is upon me...

 

and it has to do with evil money...so i am opening a fund...email me about donations...KIDDING...no handouts accepted...money just sucks:spent: :heated: :lol: :crazy:

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Guest beardo

i wish that damned instant messenger would work.

 

think of what i would do, and dont do that. haha

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Originally posted by beardo

think of what i would do, and dont do that. haha

 

haha, dont worry, that policy is already in place. infact, you are pretty much the person i take all my life direction from. i just watch you, then disregard everything i see. i think my letters reflect it well. :o

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Guest beardo

"how do you write women so well?"

 

" i think of a man, then i take away reason and accountability"

 

i am a woman.

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seeking....is this "situation" you are in one of those situations where you know you would beat the crap outta somebody, but you think that the retalliation on you or your family might be worse seeing that the said person in question is a known psychopath? I'm sorta confused on your topic, but personally, I think I'm sorta the same type of person you are. I generally laugh at fights and when kids start problems with me, I usually handle myself in a mature way without being injured, or getting in law troubles. Im not saying that I'm a wimp by anymeans....I think that people who are wimps wouldnt know how to react in a wise way, and thus bring themselves more pain then they would have endured if they thought the situation out. All I know is that I've joked around many many many times, saying things such as, "Ill kill you!" and making empty threats towards people that I dont really care for, and usually I'll just throw the problem out of my mind and move on in my life. There has been one situation in my life where revenge was definitely the answer, and I still have yet to take care of the person in question. This is not to say that a day doesnt go by with out me thinking of the perfect most vendictive revenge ever. Ive even seriously thought of murder to deal with this situation, but it is still in the process of being solved.

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Revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

Famous Chinese proverb.

It means let time pass, don't retaliate while emotional. If, in a few weeks, you still want somebody fucked up, plan it well, and carry out your plan, at a time when logic is ruling your mind, not emotions.

From a tactical standpoint, if whoever fucked with you is at all worried about your reaction, he'll get less and less worried (and careful) with each passing week, thinking you're letting it slide. Then his guard is down.

Other ramifications may occur to you during your cooling off period, such as how to set him up better, or how much shit you could face from the law if you go with plan A.

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Guest BROWNer

i would take c.ass's advice personally....

revenge is not good when you're ready to

trash somebody.......i always ponder

the worst possible outcome of such action,

which would be actually killing somebody

in a fight...whether it was intentional, or

worse, unintentional, bottom line is you've

destroyed your life. i don't know the situation,

but...................be careful.

good luck.

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Guest beardo

ink lunatic coming through with some perspective. nice.

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thanks for the replies, but again, i wasnt really looking for advice. its not a situation that can be handled right now due to geographical imposabilities anyway. its not a fear of retribution and it wouldnt be a fight. fighting solves very little. fighting also inplies that its a two sided battle. this would not be.

see, even saying that shit sounds dumb to me. i feel like an asshole saying it. like i think im some fucking rambo-mafia-gangster or some shit. nonsense. i may have an arsenal of guns, but i have them as much to force myself to ponder the idea of life vs. destruction, as i do for any notion of 'protection.' i know how stupid violence is. i know how fruitless being angry is, or even considering the idea of 'revenge.' thats what im really dealing with. do i want to allow a demon to live in my heart for as long as it takes to see things through? im not so sure that i do. it seems to me that by carrying the burden with me, i would be just adding another victim to the list of those already involved.

about 7 years ago someone stole my moms car. while they got caught for it, they got off on a technicality. this always annoyed me. my response? well, i'll just get a grenade, throw it through his car window, and that will be that. what stopped me? ive yet to come across someone willing to sell me grenades (yes, ive looked, yes im still looking.) point is ive carried that anger with me for years. for what? a car? its the only anger i havent let go of and to be honest, i wasnt even that pissed. it just seemed like the 'right' thing to do. it wasnt a moral dilemna, it wasnt a legal dilemna, it was a rational and natural response (or so i thought.) thats just how i deal with things. swift, precise and final. im not an irrational person. i try to follow what is 'right' and i dont make things into emotional problems. its one of the reasons i was drawn to zen buddhism. the idea that you just go about your busines with no emotional attachment to what must be done. like a samurai. i dont know... sorry im just babbeling alot, ive just got alot on my mind today. whatever.

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listen to passive aggressive... mr. no you cant say anything cause i gotta live here is now stearing me towards explosives. haha.

 

a moltov cocktail wouldnt have nearly the same WHAT THE FUCK? appeal that a grenade would.

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pretty vauge, everything depends on the person and what they have done.....i can tell you at a bad point in my life i ended up standing in a yard with a knife, waiting for a person who had crossed me to come out from hiding.....i waited for about a minute and then realized what i was doing, if i had stabbed the guy i may have gotten in a lot of trouble, if i had killed the guy i wouldnt even be here right now, neither situation was worth it for me and i walked away and let the peice of shit go free.....it angered me for a long time that i made that choice and it made me feel like a coward but after a few months i came back to what i realized while standing, waiting for that person to come out.....that regardless of what the person did to me my life was worth more than seeing him maimed or dead, i would have been happy for a moment but that would have been gone the minute i was talking to my family though plexiglass.....revenge in most cases will end up hurting you more than the other person, look at their life.....youd probably just be putting them out of their misery......

 

the only time anything would be different would be an act against a loved one.....

 

its scattered but i hope it helped a little.....

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My ex-roomate was a homey from way back. I moved out of town after high-school and was living on my own. He wanted to get a place with me up here and get started on some road other than the one leading to crack-addiction. Towards the end of our lease this motherfucker had me wanting to rip off his head and shit down his neck. He owed me money- destroyed the apartment and stole shit regularly- and was so pussy-faced-passive-agressive I knew a physical confrontation would be started entirely by me, and not only would he be in the hospital- I would be in jail cause he would definately press charges. This was no longer high-school, and I don't play that shit.-So I plotted, and plotted and plotted. I managed to get an affidavit removing him from the lease and changed the locks. I called him up at the place he was staying and told him he needed to pick up his shit before someone else came and got it. I put his shit outside, kept what I wanted, locked the doors and got out of town. He could not legally enter my apartment without me being there, nor without a police escort. I ended up with a decent entertainment center, new TV, leather couches and a fooseball-table. He now lives with mommy who let all that shit slide bcause she thought I was "trying to help her teach him a lesson about responsibility." HAHA!! Sometimes, self-control can be the best weapon.

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Originally posted by beardo

ink lunatic coming through with some perspective. nice.

 

yes definetly took the words right out of mouth...

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