Guest defyone Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 We Saw The Sunset Rise... --Anwar Make One egg Out of One Omlet.. --Anwar (lookin at a pond out of the car window, in Delaware) Is that the ocean?.. --Anwar We are bout to go to hyde park and its about to go.. -- Ishmael (sitting on the train platform) When does this bus come?.. -- Ishmael ------------------------------ ill find some more.. i tend to write these things down... feel free to share your experinces Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZackAttack Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 "so the answers are BABADCDA!? thats it! I'm going to name my kid Babadcda!!!" - rebekah "ok guys.. she just bumped into me again. should i beat her up?" - rebekah "<heroin junkie customer of mine> uhhhhhhh........ hey sir.... uhhh..... my friend messed up... <me when i worked at a gas station> what. <heroin guy> well....uhhhh....... we're really sorry... <me> what? what did you do? <heroin guy> well, that gas he just pumped... he didn't put the pump in the car when he pumped it..... <me> what??????? all ten gallons of gas??? its on the ground????!!!!!! <heroin man> yeah..... sorry about that man....... good luck......." those are a few off the top of my head from a few years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 me- okay cool, so meet me there at 7:00 friend- right on, 7:00.. but i'll probably be a half an hour late. me- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 ....hahahaha....i know it aint me....but it sounds like a line right from my own script beards....r Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest defyone Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 (nuke calls me at my house) Defy: hello.. Nuke: Hey defy, where are you?!?!?! Defy: ...... Defy: uhmm.. what number did you call me at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 On a train: Friend1: What the fuck bitch, would stop fucking elbowing me?? Bitch: I was here first Friend1: Yeah, well you keep elbowing me in the back (Group laughter) Friend2: We just got out of Juvey. WE'RE CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!!!!!!!! BLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Slurp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 my mate dean calls my house then proceeds to say "hey, where are you??" at home, dumbass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 me picking up the phone at home.. me: ****'s house of porno! How may i be of pleasure to you? unkown person: uhhh....****!? me: oooh, hi mom.. (mom): what the hell are you doing? me: hahahaha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NATO Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 ed - is there a fire or something? me - what? ed - where's that smoke coming from, oh actually its just my eyebrows.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest defyone Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 haha..keep them comin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bruno Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 my dad when he used to answer the phone: "Top of the world, this is God speaking." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest defyone Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 yea my dad answers his phone... Osama's Lair... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graf Orlok Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 "Don't look at me in that tone of voice!" -my 9th grade history techer "It's all in the ear of the behearer." J. Beckmania "I just somehow knew there would be a psychic fair today." G.Lover2000 "I like it when midgets with an attitude play elves." -Nungsta "These chili-Fritos are gonna be Audi in about duece." -Dollar Bill "Your not aspozta do that... My pronounciation isn't all that good." -B. Loose "Lately I've been reading the internet." -Nungsta again and my all time favorite: "I already didn't." -J. Beckmania Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 "I'm a good kid." - drunk girl named Rachelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 "dont do post office stickers...1...2...3...GO" the crackhead bum sitting outside a wallgreens "my itch is dicky" younger brother "you got any McDonalds napkins??...fuck it i'll just use a leaf"- friend hiding in the bushes taking a shit outside the stonestown mall "im going to dream of green mountains and vast landscapes and AHHH frodos plump little virgin ass"- chicken bone...although hes not my friend it was funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 Try saying the entire alphabet as one word. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz Phonetic - Abs-def-jeejhk-el-em-enop-curs-touv-wix-eez Should be stated with particular emphasis on the Abs. Almost want to elongate the enunciation of that syllable. There's also a momentary pause after the enop so you can dive into the curs-touv-wix-eez with refreshed gusto. It's the word that's an alphabet. Love That Feel That Say That I Nothing lemon ................................... hahahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest defyone Posted January 8, 2002 Share Posted January 8, 2002 ahahaha.. good one beardoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxSugarxX Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BAMBOOZLED Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Originally posted by Mr. ABC my mate dean calls my house then proceeds to say "hey, where are you??" at home, dumbass Mate huh.....;) sounds kinky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krie Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Originally posted by Mr. ABC my mate dean calls my house then proceeds to say "hey, where are you??" at home, dumbass ive done it before haha :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krie Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 good work on the alfabet word to beardo :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 this one is a classic. it was said on a skiing holiday in FRANCE.. girl: where are we? me: in the Pyraniees (sp? i mean the european mountain range) girl: no we're not. the Pyraniees are in Egypt, :D same girl... "whats a journalist??" same girl again, " you dont get fog in mountains". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alou Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 not exactly a quote but... my mom spent 2 weeks convincing me that buffalo were extinct and what they have that look like buffalo are a breed called beefalo.. i believed it.. up until a year ago because of dr doolittle my friend fully and trully believed that llamas had two heads and was disturbed when she saw some that only had one head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atrocks Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 "chillax!!"-andy to his dog milo "fuckin.....fuckin quack!!"-gene yelling at his board cus he couldnt skate "you get run...you get chased.."-manuel "fooooob!!"-brian from faar away to manuel after he heard that... "man ill get yer fuckin ...fuckin shikagagala mother fuck..!!!"-i forgot what i was talking about.... "i know dick.."-mike talking about dick "did u brush yer teeth?"-mom while i was brushing my teeth "are you hungry?"-mom while im eating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeDogg Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 "That kid used to be my cousin." -Pike "It's harder to see in the dark." -Mike "I don't play sports so I can pimp full-time." -Scott "Frickin sweet as heck." -??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrabble Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 -I said something about leonardo da Vinci friend- who's that, a mobster or something me- let him sleep with the fish little sister- but if he falls asleep he might drown thats all i can remember right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the shitz Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 cousin- how bout no scott Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChupacabra Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Originally posted by DeDogg "I don't play sports so I can pimp full-time." -Scott at the time when i said that, it was absolutely hilarious. all of these are from my friend matt: "I'd rather suck donkey dong than be lame." "YAAA, YA BETCHA!' "ATTACK OF THE MONSTER MAN, AHHH!" "AHHH, ITS THE LEPRECHAUN!" "I learned nollie 900 flip noseslider mcgavins man." "I kill bitches" "I hate ugly girls" "Maxy was seriously damaged but the soul still burns." "When I'm older, I'm gonna get me mc-rib." "I'd rather listen to someone fart than watch this" (in reference to the new snl) "Scott, do you ever purr?" "How come men never, puhhhhhh?" "No, that one sucks, its got Bruce Lee and hes like, To be or not to be, that is the question." "Dude, lets blast his ass again." "i just farted through my nose" "sarcasm detector detects sarcasm" "too bad too bad already happened you too baderishkabob" "truly on the flipside homie slicers oners homie dogger forealls" "If someones ass crack is horozontal it just means they're lying down. keep that in mind." "holy crap, orange juice just shot out of my ear" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KALIS Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Class, meet Ian Lewellyn. Ian has problems. He is a diagnosed retard. however, hes not just the stupid kind, hes the sui/homocidal kind. he was once arrested for trying to burn down a church, and has often been known to punch women in the face for no good reason. he is also a porn freak. i oftentalk to ian on MSN cos hes such good comedy value, and man does he get angry. heres a few things hes said in random conversation. All these are quoted directly, and include the original spelling and grammar for authenticity. i need a stud not a fucking clown - on mal starring in his homemade porno i know if you give them a $1000 in farmers common sence goes out the fucking window - on girls we are all whores every mother fucker on the planet is one - on..... he needs some slippy mr pussy action - on me what a whore you are ham - on hamish you mother fucker You had best un-fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck - on..... pass? i hope mal is a john holmes mother fucker - on mal again rofl the nigger need's a cock in mouth - on me again bitch you know what he wants you cock in his month - me again im trying to cut down im going to go cold turkey very soon - on wanking i might be pimping asians when im older might as stand up for them now - on asians i'll bring some asian whore next time im going to be a nigger pimp when im older - on “bringing the beef” i would go in but i would be to ruff on kel and i not very easy looking on the eye i got a pussyface - on boning this girl kelly god stand up for the wankers -on…. God? Wanking? I dunno. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggaz out and wait for the calvery which should be coming directly - man, i have no idea no can he fuck a girl with ease i don't think he got an 11inch cock though - on mal being a john holmes mother fucker you had best unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up! - on being mocked about not speaking proper english in no gay so i would know what cock tatses like i sure you wound know - on me calling him gay you can always tell that **** is a pie whore no matter what he does – after the above comment people have died trying someguy who did chocked on his dick one guy broke his neck (the dick was still in his mouth) and one guy bit it in half ouch not worth the risk - on sucking his own cock Well I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker mother fucker so please stop taking the micky out of me before i blow - on him making rhymes that I laughed at, and caged sock wrestling nah i never going to put the movies on the bitchs i suck am i only good with dodgy bitchs and whores (don't know about that with girls) and thats why im called shit ian – on macking kelly while mal is away they took my jazz mags those mother fuckers must pay – immediately after the above comment if happen if your title title was pie whore ,chicken tits or eater of broken cocks – on my name bring out the gimp – on drinking beer your find something to do my parents left me byself for a couple days i found something yet agian that something got me in the back of a policecar - on mal being in mexico transformers oh i wish i was a fucking kid agian – after the above becareful bro mexico is full of std laden chicks with dicks at least they always take mastercard – to mal in mexico how do you like your pussy? ham jizz all over it? well done? or media rare? or lubicated like theres no tomrrow - pass i told you to go and get fucked bitch eggs are for pussies – on cooking my eggs, bitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2 blaazed Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 "HEY JEAN UR A TAURUS WICH IS HALF ANIMAL HALF MAN...THAT EXPLAINS WHY UR HALF BLACK HALF WHITE" - B (BURNOUT) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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