Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
KILZ FILLZ

Old folk (50+) at the bar have some awesome shit to say

Recommended Posts

They never dissapoint

 

preface- talking to a girl your age or younger over rules option A or B

 

either:

 

A ) you will be talking to some older dude with totallly awesome stories about life or travelling or some war shit or whateverthefuck. They got some serious life experience. You lay your problms on em and not only do they got some good insight, but they are juzt happy to talk. They'll give you someperspective. What's really good is that they're a stranger, so if it's some tough shit you dont gotta worry bout your boys finding out. Where as if it's your homies pops or whatever you never know if he's gonna tell your boy.

 

 

B ) you will be talking some an older chick craving some penis. Trust me from personal experience: THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. When shit starts going down you won't evenbe thinking about hiw old they are. They will keep you happy for the night. After sex, situation A applies.

 

no matter which way you go it will be interesting

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

B ) you will be talking some an older chick craving some penis. Trust me from personal experience: THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. When shit starts going down you won't evenbe thinking about hiw old they are. They will keep you happy for the night. After sex, situation A applies.

 

 

4756796248_2effa7e876_o.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with teh Boat on this. One of the reasons I love dive to semi dive bars with a lot of old folk locals. They've seen and done a lot and always love to share with anyone who will listen. They also like to buy you drinks to keep you there listening to them.

 

There is this one guy named Bobby Colt. Real old school mother fucker who still has a wicked scar from a tooth that went through the skin of his fist. Dude would always talk about fighting and end everything with Bing, bang, pow while making hitting motions with his hand. Real old school, not like dudes who only been around two days and shit. Last year while in his 70s he knocked out some dude in his 40s for talking shit. Haha.. Still true to the game.

 

The End.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I usually don't comment on my own threads

 

but

 

 

Stories like IOUs are exactly what I had in mind when starting this thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My local bar has a bunch of really cool old guys that get wasted, do drugs, gamble, and party just as hard as us. My favorites are Bobby, who looks and dresses like he's on Deadwood, is the head bouncer at a really nice strip club, spends $1,000 a night on Keno, and is rumored to have killed more than a few people, and Wild Bill, who is a teacher who does stupid amounts of yak, and is currently running for state office. Together he and I form DUECES WILD, and we get drunk and talk mad shit to everyone.

 

Oh yeah, there's also John, who is completely batshit crazy. He calls me music man because he likes my jukebox choices (especially Return of the Mack), and rambles/laughs to himself quite a bit. He has ridiculous hair, which resulted in one of the funniest conversations I've ever seen when my boy Ant got wasted and started making fun of him telling him he had "feathered" hair, that he looked like both Kenny Rogers and King Richard, etc etc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I, too, know a Wild Bill. I've heard plenty of crazy stories about his time spent in Vietnam. He also has a fat black wife, who I'm fairly sure is a hooker, that he admittedly uses as street cred so as to remain safe in his neighborhood, though I've heard this man say the most racist shit I've ever heard. Quite an entertaining chap.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That reminds me of this old Armenian guy named Vartan. Old as fuck and sick fucking pool player. Real nice when we play, always trying to teach me. So a rumor started going around that some hookers were starting to frequent the bar, which is really odd for the area. Dive bar in a good neighbor hood, so shit like never really went down. One day on my way into the bar I see Vartan talking to these two fine women and then walks into the bar with them. I ask the bartender what's up and she confirms that he is their pimp. Dude had a hunched back and hair growing out the ears, but had these bitches in check. Too bad his nodding habit started to get out of hand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Once knew a Cambodian man named Lhan who claimed to be a pimp. Unfortunately I never got to hear many of his stories, but him and a few old Cambodian ladies nicknamed Kiwi & Didi taught me how to swear in Cambodian.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was talking to this dude that lived down the block named Saul T, who was some old gray hair drum circle hippy. He smoked weed with us out of a deer antler once, and then went into a trance and told us his house would burn down in a week. It did.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Living in the middle of nowhere, all the old crew at the dicky club have crazy stories. We got one dude that started the biggest hire car company in the southern hemisphere, sold it off a few years ago but still rocks up in tattered flanno and holes in his boots.

 

At the end of the day, older crew that are at the pub every night are generally pretty miserable people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Older people can be hilarious, crazy and down right awsome.

 

Older women ftw as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's another old guy who comes in sometimes (I think he's a cop), who I've TWICE seen fingering a bitch while standing at the bar, once in her ass. The night he ass fingered the bitch I heard her go "I can't fuck you, I'm married", to which he replied "That's OK, I just wanna get my dick sucked".

 

A true American hero

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to love serving those types of dudes, ones you could actually have a decent chat to, they know their drinks too which i'm a big fan of. had a lot of regulars that would come in on their lunch break or just after work and get hammered, dudes almost retiring so they didn't really give a fuck. you see them at the door and when they get to the bar their usual drinks are already waiting for them.

 

good people make my job so much easier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was this old guy that used to come into the bar with the craziest stories. He went to federal prison for robbing a bank. He went in with a note demanding 100,000,000 dollars. The teller knew him and that he was crazy so she tells him that since he didn't have an account ther, he couldn't rob the place. On his way out the manager, who didn't know him called the cops. I figured he was just talking untill the bartender pointed out the newspaper clipping on the wall. Fortunately he was funny insane, not kill you crazy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So what I gather from this is that you're one of those dudes who gets all emo when you're drunk and pours your problems onto random people at the bar.

Including one night stand chicks who you just had sex with.

 

 

[/ATTACH]

 

i would say pouring problems on people and asking for advice during a conversation would be two different things.

ie- debt, saving for a house, car troubles, investing, of course women, life in general i guess.

its usually a two way street if you get my meaning

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Theres an old bloke named bobby that used to drink at my local. Dude had just done 7 years and talked a heap of shit. Anyway a mate invited him to his 21st birthday and didn't expect him to show. Not only did he show up but he turned up in full elvis costume and did a few songs haha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a 20foot pole holding up the ceiling in my local boozer which the old boys shimmy up and tag their names on the ceiling, new people to the bar always stand amazed at these 50+ year old pissheads, haha makes me smile thinkin bout em..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, i like drinking at the old man bars. If you want a treasure trove of stories, life advice, a different type of hell raisng, i say go to the local VFW hall. Bring snap caps and watch the fun ensue. The Korean war vets have the best stories.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×