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Wilderness Thread. (And General Outdoor Bullshit.)


Spitfire15

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So finals are next week. After which, Ill be setting out into the Everglades (I.E: Swamp), for a multi-day excursion.

 

One of my friends believes that we should only bring 1 knife each and Bear Grylls the shit out of it. But hes forgetting that none of us Bear Grylls and that it would in total starvation/ dehydration/ death. So as of now, the tings to bring are:

 

*- SUPPLIES -*

1. Tent.

2. Cooler. (Filled with who knows what. Space taken up by water bottles, is space taken up for Beer.)

3. Knifes. (Many of them.)

4. Fishing pole.

5. And probably a first aid kit.

 

*- POSSIBLE THREATS -*

1. Alligators.

2. Massive spiders. (That melt flesh or cause other awful things)

3. Massive snakes. (With and without Poison.)

4. Native Americans.

 

Need suggestions.

 

 

 

 

And also, discuss.

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Didn't you alreadt make this stupid pipe dream thread a few years ago.

 

And if I was you, which thankfully I am not. I would bring a pot belly pig on a leash.

 

Kill him when he's least expecting it and remove eyelids ears and snout. When you gut the pig remove bladder. It will smell and be quite messy but it will enable you to use undigested food as glue to adhese the ears/snout/eeyelids to your body in there respective areas. You may want to also use its tail as a jerky stick to chew on thruought the day.

 

Take hooves. Shave the toe nails into spearheads. Do not remove shin bones. "French" the skin away so as you may use said shin and hoove as an axe.

 

Pull out the intestines slowly so as not to tear them. Make drive sticks into the perimeter of your camp, string intestines around the steaks to create a fence.

 

Once the heart is removed place it into your armpit and hold it there for warmth, tho. I'm assuming in your forests heat will not be a problem.

 

Another handy tip for using pig teeth would be to pull the entire jaw out of the pigs face. Build yourself a potatoe gun by hollowing out a thick rotted out tree limb/branch sepending on the size of stray wood you find. If you do have a potatoe with you, great. If not recreate the shape of one by allowing some of the pigs fat to sit in the sun for a few hours abd vecome plyable.

 

Once youv created a palm sized fatball. Take the pig jaw and literally open it up so as you can wrap it over and encompass the ball of fat. Creating a one of the best pieces of homeback ammunition one could have. Literally you have just created a toothed flying mad ball capable of leaving nasty scrapes onto the face of unsuspecting indians.

 

Possibly even lodging some of the sauw teeth into there forheads and/or eyes. It may just save your life.

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Didn't you alreadt make this stupid pipe dream thread a few years ago.

 

And if I was you, which thankfully I am not. I would bring a pot belly pig on a leash.

 

Kill him when he's least expecting it and remove eyelids ears and snout. When you gut the pig remove bladder. It will smell and be quite messy but it will enable you to use undigested food as glue to adhese the ears/snout/eeyelids to your body in there respective areas. You may want to also use its tail as a jerky stick to chew on thruought the day.

 

Take hooves. Shave the toe nails into spearheads. Do not remove shin bones. "French" the skin away so as you may use said shin and hoove as an axe.

 

Pull out the intestines slowly so as not to tear them. Make drive sticks into the perimeter of your camp, string intestines around the steaks to create a fence.

 

Once the heart is removed place it into your armpit and hold it there for warmth, tho. I'm assuming in your forests heat will not be a problem.

 

Another handy tip for using pig teeth would be to pull the entire jaw out of the pigs face. Build yourself a potatoe gun by hollowing out a thick rotted out tree limb/branch sepending on the size of stray wood you find. If you do have a potatoe with you, great. If not recreate the shape of one by allowing some of the pigs fat to sit in the sun for a few hours abd vecome plyable.

 

Once youv created a palm sized fatball. Take the pig jaw and literally open it up so as you can wrap it over and encompass the ball of fat. Creating a one of the best pieces of homeback ammunition one could have. Literally you have just created a toothed flying mad ball capable of leaving nasty scrapes onto the face of unsuspecting indians.

 

Possibly even lodging some of the sauw teeth into there forheads and/or eyes. It may just save your life.

 

 

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Depends on how many days you are going for, will you have wheels or are you taking everything on your person, is there much walking involved. etc?

 

- Insect repellant

- Mosquito net

- cell phone (reception can be found sometimes)

- second pair of socks and underwear

- powder (for your feetz)

- vasoline (for the chafingz)

- water/filter/puri tabs/iodine (use a leg of pants filled with sand and charcoal to filter before using the iodine/puri tabs if you don't have enough water)

- spirits are better to take than beer if you're packing in; less room less weight. The more booze you take the more water you will need for the after effects

- a number of cigarette lighters in a waterproof bag. Take fire paste if the wood may be damp in that area where you are going.

- at least one torch each, mini maglights are the king of torches

- a mirror if you're going a good distance from any urban area

- High carb food is lighter to carry and better for camping, however usually needs water for cooking

- a hammock will get you off the ground if you're worried about gators/rats and you can get good ones with mosquito nets already incorporated in to the design.

- Salt to get rid of the leeches.

- betadine to put on nicks and cuts that will surely turn septic after a few days in a dirty, humid area

 

 

 

YOu an your other mates take this shit with you and encourage your other douche mate to just take a knife and see who enjoys the trip in comfort. IF you're going in to the swamp (god knows why you'd do that) the bugs will drive him mad before the gators, hunger and dehydration. Take a camera and record his fits of rage whilst trying to sleep amidst the buzzing and biting.

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