En Sabah Nur Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 i work with teenagers that have psychological/behavioral issues in a residential facility in kansas city. i also know some other people in the same line of work. i'm thinking about starting a blog or whatever for stories about/quotes from these kids. something along the lines of shit my dad says, fmylife.com, or TFLN... here's some teasers from when i post about it on my facebook: Kid: "You like, um, USA?" Me: "Soccer team? They're okay, I like some players." Kid: "They're from here too?" Me: "Is the USA... from here...?" Kid: "Yeah." Me: "...Yes." Kid: "How am I supposed to prove I can do good off grounds when they won't let me go off grounds?" Staff: "It's not about proving you can be good just when we're off grounds, you have to be a responsible person and show us you can make good decisions here." Kid: "How many times do I have to do that?" Kid: "Why do we care about Haiti?" Staff: "There was an earthquake and a lot of people got hurt." Kid: "Well, do we own Haiti?" Staff: "What? No, nobody really owns it. It's an independent country if that's what you mean." Kid: "Who owns America? Barack Obama?" Kid: "can we go back up to the dorm? it's too nice outside." Me: "too nice?" Kid: "yeah it's nice out. i don't like nice things. thinking about nice things makes me feel sick inside. i only like darkness things. i only like darkness, demons, stuff like that." "Science is gay." kid that doesn't actually live here anymore but came by to visit, flaunting his newfound love for the intarvebz: "Guess who I met. Miley Cyrus. I met her on myspace." and "Did you know T-Pain is on twitter?" Kid: "the sun is gon... gonna set up?" Me: "what?!" Kid: "the sun is gonna rise up?" Me: "i hope so!" "it's a small town, you don't really see much gays." At the school, the kids have assignments posted on the wall. One is a sort of plot outline about Harriet Tubman, and more than one of them have "Barbarians" listed under the "Antagonists" header... did I miss something in history class? Now, I can't shake the image of an epic broadsword battle, Harriet Tubman v. Conan the Barbarian, TO THE DEATH!! Me: "You can't just break people's stuff every time they make you mad!" Kid: "I seen people do it. It was on TV." Teacher: "the worksheet will probably take you the rest of the hour, there's a really tough word search on it." "I don' wanna put my freakin' brain on." out of nowhere: kid: "I'm not gay" me: "I don't care" "no i said i'm not gay" "i know, and i said i don't care" "i want a orange. can i have a orange?" "yeah" then he tapped me on the top of the head and went to get an orange. "you like fruit cup?" a kid just saw a gmc sierra commercial and asked "why would they give a truck a girl name?"... i guess the people at gmc didn't realize the hood would think it was girly. "come on it's not rocket surgery!" a kid's posterboard from class: "4. Are bullies people?" "4. Yes, they're just different." "he too pretty to be indian"... sorry indians, some high school girl thinks you're all ugly. "I think a spider needs more salt." we had a kid with a walmart gift card that said something like "from your friends at Sprint" and he was seriously confused like "But I don't know anyone at Sprint. How do they know me?" "i don't use syllables, i hate syllables." "What does bloob spell?" ...I had him repeat it a number of times to make sure I was hearing correctly. "I wish I were one of those kids who got to run around naked all the time just wearing a diaper thing and shooting people with a blow gun in the jungle." "Are trannies any good at bowling?" p.s. what's the best way of doing that? i could code it myself and get a domain i guess. but are twitter or blogspot or wordpress or something more mobile-friendly or anything? doesn't twitter have some kind of length limit? i want advertising moneys and a book deal ;x p.p.s. in case nobody likes this thread: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Medicine Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Kid: "can we go back up to the dorm? it's too nice outside." Me: "too nice?" Kid: "yeah it's nice out. i don't like nice things. thinking about nice things makes me feel sick inside. i only like darkness things. i only like darkness, demons, stuff like that." hahahaha my fav, sounds like something id say.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topfloorbasement Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 kids say some funny ass shit... post the link when you get rolling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 this reminds me of the special ed teacher who blogged. man, those were hilarious. Wordpress all the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pertplus1 Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 id read'em if u posted'em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Fantastic quotes. I'm picking one for my signature right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotsauceinthedickholewastaken Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Quote: "come on it's not rocket surgery!" Kat Von D has said that twice on LA Ink...fucking retard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pornbooth Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 those are pretty good, i like blogspot more than i like wordpress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 my mom does what you do and i believe posting what these kids say no matter how harmless it is violates some clause in the confidentiality agreement. im all for it, i just dont want to see you get fired for being artsy edit: i feel mean for saying this... double edit: why the fuck are you watching LA ink hater?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheepOrDie Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 http://www.fullduplex.org/tardblog/sa/5.htm "I'll fucking cotton candy that ass!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 my mom does what you do and i believe posting what these kids say no matter how harmless it is violates some clause in the confidentiality agreement. im all for it, i just dont want to see you get fired for being artsy edit: i feel mean for saying this... double edit: why the fuck are you watching LA ink hater?? yeah, HIPAA, but i think if it's all anonymous it should be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 I like stuff like this. Please follow through and then post a link to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Are trannies good at bowling? Dow would care to answer that for us please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 yeah, HIPAA, but i think if it's all anonymous it should be fine. okay cool. didnt know, have fun haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Kid: "can we go back up to the dorm? it's too nice outside." Me: "too nice?" Kid: "yeah it's nice out. i don't like nice things. thinking about nice things makes me feel sick inside. i only like darkness things. i only like darkness, demons, stuff like that." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 are these people with "behavioral problems" or actually mentally handicapped/slow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 was that a post by theo with no image?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 do tumblr wordpress and blogspot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUST THE TIP Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Are trannies good at bowling? Dow would care to answer that for us please. yes, they do well at bowling due to their large hands, which can easily grasp the ball and make for a smooth roll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLU Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MayorMeanBeans Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 nice sabah, i work at an afterschool program for probably the same sort of kids (the ones that a teacher says she can't handle, etc.) the other day, a kid comes up to me with a joke: kid: whats the best type of paper to make a paper airplane with? me: what. kid [in biggie voice]: FLY PAPER BAYBAY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted March 29, 2010 Author Share Posted March 29, 2010 are these people with "behavioral problems" or actually mentally handicapped/slow. well, both, and then some. it's a low security place, and a lot of times we end up diagnosing them and moving them somewhere more appropriate, but there's a very broad array of types of kids. some of them the courts sentence them there because of a crime, some of them their parents can't handle them and pay to put them there, some don't have parents and we're in custody of them, some are department of mental health, some of them go to school there during the day but don't live there, they've just been kicked out of every other school, etc. right now i'm working on the sex offender dorm. we've had kids that are just violent, or hyper, or suicidal... kids that think they're in the cia, boys that think they're pregnant women, kids that piss and shit in their rooms, kids that argue over just about anything and cuss you out constantly, kids that can't help but touch everyone all the time, baby gangsters, and yes, tards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted March 30, 2010 Author Share Posted March 30, 2010 add a mexican (and retarded) accent to the kid on this one... staff: "i will not high five you at the table." kid: "no! me and my brothers do dat when we're eating!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydrogenPeroxide Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 wordpress is easy to set up once you buy a domain and hosting. there's tons of free themes out there as well (link or google it). you're right about twitter, 140 character limit. facebook is where you want to be though. you can get add ons for wordpress that will auto post to your facebook and twitter as well. hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whodoyouthink Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Good stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted April 3, 2010 Author Share Posted April 3, 2010 do wordpress or tumblr or whatever allow multiple authors? also, here's one from a few minutes ago: "We're going outside at noon." "What part of noon do you mean?" "Noon. What? There's only one noon." "There's two noons to me." "No... there isn't." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris The Butcher Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis and Clark Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 this reminds me of the special ed teacher who blogged. man, those were hilarious. Wordpress all the way. this is some funny shit : #21: Antonio’s Desk: Twice a marking period we have desk clean out. This is when the students have to take out everything inside their desk and throw away the stuff they don’t really need. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit that these tards have been keeping in their desk. By far the scariest desk was Antonio’s. He doesn’t throw anything away, and because of his obsessive behavior he flips out whenever we try to explain to him that he has to get rid of it. Some of the interesting things we found in his desk include. 1. A large pile of bloody fingernails. Antonio bites his fingernails like till they bleed and he tends to hoard them in certain places. I had to get out the latex gloves to clean this mess up. 2. A large pile of chewed tard pencils. These pencils were beyond destroyed, they were compost. The shear quantity of wood and graphite that this kid must ingest could probably kill a small mammal. 3. Four rolls of toilet paper, stolen from the bathroom. When I asked Antonio why he had these, he responded “Just in case”. I mean, what kind of fucking accident, and trust me I’ve seen them all, is going to require four full rolls of toilet paper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 i think its funny i guess. but i feel kinda bad about laughing at people with full on disorders, handicapped, or abused. i like this one though Quote: "I wish I were one of those kids who got to run around naked all the time just wearing a diaper thing and shooting people with a blow gun in the jungle." i mean havent we all thought about that? sounds normal to me. release this person. /nh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greensleeves Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I work in an RTF as well. And yeah, kids are fucking weird sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.