Lewis and Clark Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 crashed party, kicked out. small fight. stole boat. got away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 I always wondered at what point in someones life parties go from ruckus, sloppy beer fests to more reserved atmospheres. My Housewarming is next weekend. Getting it catered, people bringing their kids, starts at noon. Setting up the bocce, cornhole & golf toss. The inflatable beer pong table will prob stay in the garage for this one. So here I am, Johnny fucking Suburbs. At least I don't have to worry about shit-stains like yallz wrecking or stealing my stuff. My only concern is that niggas respect wood and use coasters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4x4 Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Setting up the bocce, cornhole & golf toss. please explain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 cornhole = bean bag toss (I'm not fond of the name) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLICKCLACKONER Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 i see that cornhole game alot in AZ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 i proceeded to pick up several used diapers from the trash pile You sir, are a filthy turd burglar. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 i went to one of those house parties that gets sent out on facebook cos dudes dumb and invites his friends who in turn invite their friends etc so i got there and there like 200 people already everything all squashed and shit i go with 1 corona cos im broke and had to buy cigarettes so on my way through the garden and up to the bathroom im seeing people i aint seen in a long ass time and they all give me beer so im like nice whatevs and head up and on my way back down more beer so i end up with about 20 bottles of various beers sit down drink that shit cops come im in the back fingerbangin this 15 year old behind the shed when i this cop walks up on me looks at me smiles and walks off..so im like wtf? carry on finish up and as i come out theres like 50 people left all chillin in the front room smokin n drinking next thing dude comes in with a few bags rolls some blunts and i proceed to get high as fuck im now on 23 bottles of beer 4 blunts and 3 ciders when dude hands me a drink, turns out its pure vodka and an entire bottle of Tabasco i down the shit in one stand there for a few seconds then i start burnin up so he gives me about 5 more bottles of cider i down em fast as i can to get rid of the hotness and stand there for 45 minutes retelling the star wars saga as if it happened in north london. walk back out to the back garden n some blond chick walks over, hey she says your that guy from south africa..yuh i say .ohh my dads from there..cool..haha i have a black girls ass what do you think..(now you know ima take advantage of that question cos it was a fine ass) ..squeezes ass damn i say slap it damn i say again on my lap she sits talkin for an hourish and shes like you do graff ? im like yeah ..you did that big piece on that rooftop?yeah i say i got my hand on her knee as soon as i say yeah chick grabs my hands and puts in between her legs smooooth cootchie so im rubbin it kissin her then im like fuck rip her leggings open fingerbang again, we hop up to the bathroom and were there for like an hour im wasted as fuck shes pretty high and bitch is like choke me and so im like cool choke her but as im about to bust my whole body tenses up and i pretty much gave her a sleeper hold.. so she starts gushin as she passes out n im like FUUUUUU... i finish up and chek her pulse n im like fuck wake up she gets up and looks at me like shocked n im like sorry shes like why ? im like oh nothing never mind chick walks down the stairs with a limp, anyway walked home at like 4am in the rain took me about 3 hours considering how fucked i was and i kept stopping cos some chick painted my nails with glow paint. next day i find out both the girls were only just 15. damn you puberty makin them so insatiable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Periods are your friends, armand (my head hurts now) This is how I imagined your narration: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 edit ahhh yeah my literary skills arent that good sorry.im workin on it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 So, you're an admitted rapist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 im 17 16 at the time i didnt know and they looked older, by that i mean tits and dress sense not my fault... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Carry on then. Just for your information, though. Ignorance to their age doesn't justify the deed. Check ID's, sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armand hammer Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 i was wasted man im hardly gonna ask for i.d at a party where i know the ages range is from 15-18 plus both of the asses were just ... but yeah i get that i treat them with enough respect afterwards to make sure i never get a statutory rape charge thrown at me, also always where a glove unlike most kids my age only time i haven't i got the chick pregnant manned up and said ill be a dad even if she don't want it so she got an abortion so don't worry i know how to take responsibility for my drunken stupidity . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
301192 Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 lets bring back this threaddddd just this saturday i was chillin at my friends party, got fairly sloshed and decided to kick it on the front deck for a quick breather. Me and my friend are standing outside when we hear all this commotion goin on inside , i look down the corridor and these three dick head ,rich cunt north shore kids that had just shown up with no real association to anyone invited are running for the door. Me, being fair smashed, stumble back toward the edge of the wood porch, they try to run down onto the grass and onto the street but i stick my foot out and the first one, who was holding a goon sack ( or sack of cask wine) and falls flat on his stomach and pops it. The other tries hurdle his friend but doesnt quite make it and lands on his friends arm and then collapses. Then my Maori friend whos sunglasses they had just stolen comes running out all wild eyed and just runs upto dickhead number 2, who was just getting up, and spear tackles him straight through the bushes and into the wood fence. Then there was alot of screaming and yelling so i just bailed to the backyard. pretty much all that happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolling nowhere Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 fuck shit up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 YOUR BOY TACKLED SOMEONE AND YOU BAILED TO THE BACKYARD WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tanxxx_one Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 in 6th grade my homeboy brandon farted on my friends cesars face.... it was funny as fuck cesar just said "hey somebody fart in my mouth" and my homey just dropped a tuba in his face..... computer class... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 YOUR BOY TACKLED SOMEONE AND YOU BAILED TO THE BACKYARD WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT? His boy got jumped and he fuckin' bailed LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
301192 Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 when i said there was screaming and all that i meant that to say that i bailed after the fight was broken up, instead of explaining that when my friend tackled the cunt into the fence it got pulled apart and i actually walked round the back with him, cos he didnt want to stick around for the whole post fight drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocodile Tears Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 at some chicks college graduation party i stood on the kitchen sink and drank beer through dirty panties i found in her hamper, and wore them over my face in front of 60 or so people. i was escorted out of the house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acer910 Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 yo man its all good. been there done that, ive seen 16 year old straight up lookin like college girls. till you start talkig to them... but who the fuck does that at a party?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 must spread rep....:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EON 352 Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 crash party steal beer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fun Police Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 At a graduation party when i was 17 I jumped off a house roof and missed the pool... sober. that sucked. I split my feet open lengthwise... i consider myself incredibly lucky on that count. Years later at a new years party I ate a live gold fish. I shit it out at a diner the next morning and the smell of it combined with the hangover made me vomit simultaneously. Some friends of mine once threw a keg off a fourth floor fire escape into a parking lot and proceeded to coat the stairs with white lithium grease on the way out... hilarity ensued. Those are some of the highlights among a multitude of other idiotic actions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feed Yer Ego Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 crashing house parties is a good way to get shot to death and die like a faggot on some dumb shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 ummm... not really, if you have half a fucking brain... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EON 352 Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 the most thats ever happened is ive been asked to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fun Police Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 you're doing it wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tae Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 BUMP i miss reading these stories drunk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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