TheShaneCo. 69 Posted January 30, 2010 Wake up hungover - girlfriend that broke up with me tries to get back together with me over AIM - no dice. Finally that's over, go to take a dump - do that thing where pee shoots out from in between the toilet seat, don't notice - a whole load of really stinky hangover pee on the floor soaking into my sweat pants. Realize what's happened, change into shorts in freezing cold house, start cleaning up pee with tile cleaner (which contains bleach) make chlorine gas (pee contains ammonia) - eyes turn blood red have hard time breathing, realize I'm offing myself and run out of the bathroom. I still have a dump to take but I'm scared to go back in the bathroom. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
injury 778 Posted January 30, 2010 poop in sweatpants Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chubbs 347 Posted January 30, 2010 enjoy that tic-tac sir, you earned it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bostonsnewest 205 Posted January 30, 2010 i woke up and puked battery acid from eating a whole bag of fritos last night while i was drunk, starving and playing poker. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iloveboxcars 460 Posted January 30, 2010 i ate a peanut butter jelly and banana sandwich. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBombs 705 Posted January 30, 2010 i hate that pee thing, in the last month it has happened 3 fucking times Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mackfatsoe 168 Posted January 30, 2010 oh my god I am hungover I slept with a crazy coworker last night: here's where everything falls apart. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sausage party 90 Posted January 30, 2010 http://memegenerator.net/955518/bathroom-occupied-shit-pants Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
northernlights 52 Posted January 30, 2010 ^^^ good luck with tht... i vowed to never do tht again!! might as well shit on the dinner table.... as far as the pee thing never happened to me.... maybe its cuz my penis rests in the toilet water when i duke it out.... wow thts was nasty!! i made my self gag... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iloveboxcars 460 Posted January 30, 2010 oh my god I am hungover I slept with a crazy coworker last night: here's where everything falls apart. trust you aint got nothin on me. <<sleeping with the room mate. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bostonsnewest 205 Posted January 30, 2010 oh my god I am hungover I slept with a crazy coworker last night: here's where everything falls apart. haha, when we were like 18 my buddy was working at a company that you called when your credit card declines, this dude would figure why.. anyways, this chick he worked with who was about 22 called him over to help her with her internet or some shit, he goes over, she starts jerking him off in the cubical, the boss comes over so my buddy dives under the computer and starts playing with wires saying "oh this looks like the problem" till the boss left, they agree to meet in the bathroom, he goes in, she instantly starts sucking his dick, he starts fingering her, a couple minutes into he says he put his hands on the top of the stall as she blew him and he noticed this weird chunky looking goo on his hands, he starts realizing what it is and thinking hes got some viral cabin fever shit on his hands he starts getting grossed out and starts dry heaving, the chick starts freaking out, he runs to to the sink, pukes out his intestines and starts washing his hands, then just kinda sat down stuck in shock, the chick ran out crying cause she thought he was having a stroke... she never came back to work. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
northernlights 52 Posted January 30, 2010 hahahaha great story!!! i woulda wiped it in her hair and made the whole office laugh at her!! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Silba 138 Posted January 30, 2010 what was the goo? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bostonsnewest 205 Posted January 30, 2010 some sort of intergalactic viral pussy juice. some scientists believe it may have been the ooze that created the ninja turtles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheShaneCo. 69 Posted January 30, 2010 Welp, time to start drinking again. Also - How the fuck do I smell like a camp fire in the middle of Brooklyn? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wisetuxedo 53 Posted January 30, 2010 im jealous woke up witht the lady, hungover as fuck, then peed for like 3 minutes and passed out again for another 4 hours, just ate chocolate chip pancakes and bacon, could be a good day... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
B!G D 15 Posted January 30, 2010 I had nothing planned last night This girl hits me up asking me to come over, her boyfriend is outta state, so of course i go. Hung out. No booty because she was feeling guilty about cheating on her boyfriend with me before. Came home, homies were all high. No goods left. Went to bed. Now i'm just eating cereal. Not off to a good start.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mackfatsoe 168 Posted January 30, 2010 <<sleeping with the room mate. ouch whose bed is more comfortable? when you wake up in the morning, and make breakfast, whose eggs get eaten? is all the food and drink in the house shared? you are so fucked. edit: I just ate pho. Then I peed out my butt. Feeling much improved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
publicenemyno.3 265 Posted January 30, 2010 i woke up to serbians knocking on my door at 8 to replace my windows. it got hella cold in my place and they broke the old windows and didnt do a very good job of cleaning up. i cleaned up the broken glass and then made pasta dough and turned into fresh rigatoni for tonight. it's gonna be a good day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KAISER-SOZE 16 Posted January 30, 2010 There's not enough ammonia in your piss to make enough mustard gas to do you any harm. Stop being a pussy and go drop them kids off at the pool already. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
invisible pants 1 Posted January 30, 2010 you did the pee crack thing?? ugghh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheason 22 Posted January 30, 2010 My nigga fell down a flight of stairs into me last night at a party and really fucked my ribs/stomach up. My ribcage felt like it nearly collapsed against the railing...I wake up today hungover feeling like i got trucksticked in the gut. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gat Bush 130 Posted January 30, 2010 I need to stop the late night meals. The end result being me pooing several times a day thus putting off my showering which in turn makes me feel all dirty and poo-butted. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
