delonemonkey Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Just recently i looked through the basement of my old house, and found a notebook from ELA class from when i was about 14. Holy shit, this is probably the most awesome story i have ever written, or read. Too bad i got an F on it. It was for some short story project we were supposed to do. This is pretty much how i handled every assignment like this, but i always threw out my old shit. I could take a pic of it and put it up but my hand writing is horrible. So ill re write it here. Part of what makes it funny is the teachers comments, he just basically circled whole sentances and wrote "what?" Timothy woke up at 10 am. He ate 3 mushrooms and walked out the door. A waffle flew by in front of timothy.Timothy took a cat out of his pocket and threw it at the waffle. It pierced the waffles fluffy, buttery skin and it crashed into the ground. Timothy picked up the waffle and started to eat it. Syrup bled out of the waffle as timothy chewed it. After his encounter with the waffle Timothy was quite full. He walked further down Happy cow lane. He got to the dock and hopped in his boat made out of solidified third world country children. Suddenly just as timothy was readying to leave, he was ambushed by a moose/water bottle. The moose/water bottle jumped out of the bushes and flew high into the air. It then dove down to attack. The moose/water bottle hit timothy in the pinky toe with his antler and sent him flying back 3 inches. Timothy pulled another cat out of his pocket and hit the moose/water bottle with it. It cried out in pain and timothy pulled a tuna out of his other pocket and hit the moose/water bottle right in the elbow. Then he jumped onto the moose/water bottle and mounted it. Grabbing onto its antlers, he began to unscrew its cap. Water mixed with moose tapioca flooded out all over the floor and the moose/water bottle died. Timothy used the empty bottle as shelter for the night. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
For Placement Only Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Sounds like a beginning of a Wes Anderson movie. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
support local lurker Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I need me some of those shrooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I would either do shit assigned to me properly or not do it at all. So I guess I wasn't as weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nerfs Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I need me some of those shrooms. this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 yep you were a weird 'un alright! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I once wrote a story for a Halloween project where all the kids killed the parents in the town(I know Children of the Corn, hadn't seen it yet) and detailed like twenty some killings. I was ordered to see some school provided shrink for the next couple of months. My next story was about how crazy people are crazy because they know and see the things we miss.. Basically I was saying we're too fucking stupid and distracted to really understand what's going on in "reality". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Kinkaid Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 That's fucking awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Mmmm... waffles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignition Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Twiz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 ...i used to watch the twilight zone & pour all my thoughts/reflections onto paper (directly after, so i wouldnt forget anything) when i was a kid the one about the WWI pilot travelling through a time cloud into a WW2 dogfight to save his best friend is still my fav. episode i wouldnt say its that strange, but there you have it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animalcocaine Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 i stabbed some kid in school when was 14/15. i don't remember writing stories. maybe it was 13. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire15 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I wrote a story about shooting kids with an Uzi in 4th grade while playing hockey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 i could see you doing that ^ oh, back when we were around 14 eh? i was busy loving life & skating everyday nothing TOO interesting there only thing that came to mind is from middleschool, where we had to write an ending to this generic story about a refugee i couldnt finish reading it to the class, because i was cracking up too hard at my own ending about him getting stabbed in the face over a tray of food i know its horrible/not funny, but i couldnt stop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulcan Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 drugs brah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siege1222 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 wow. That was .. inspirational Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 i could see you doing that ^ oh, back when we were around 14 eh? i was busy loving life & skating everyday nothing TOO interesting there only thing that came to mind is from middleschool, where we had to write an ending to this generic story about a refugee i couldnt finish reading it to the class, because i was cracking up too hard at my own ending about him getting stabbed in the face over a tray of food i know its horrible/not funny, but i couldnt stop I actually find that really funny in a twisted sort of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I copied a mates story that he had written in year 7 and handed it in as my work in year 10. Funnily enough the story got a C+ in year 7 and in year 10 it got a B. I think the teacher was just surprised I handed homework in. I used to write stories similar to that on some last minute shit. That and if it were a 1000 word essay or whatever I'd repeat the word I over and over and end it with seem to have a stutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 writing 6 page erotica = how to get out of writing assignments Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElectricitySucks Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I used to copy world industries characters in 5th grade all over my notebooks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I was stranger than all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperface Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 This one fuck face kid wrote a detailed story about Duke Nukem clearing the first level in in the computer game duke nukem 3d. This was on 7th grade. I will never forget it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 When I was little (7-9) I was really into action figures. Gi Joes, Star Wars, Fischer Price, and all the generic shit you'd see at flea markets and truck stops. I worked stories out in my head and ran with them for months, just adding and adding. I'm sure I'm not alone in this childish act. BUT, I did have one strange quirk. I made elaborate scenarios with intense violence. I used to get so into it that I'd pick scabs on my legs and arms and squeeze the cut for a solid stream of blood. Then I'd dip my action figure's faces, arms, legs, chests, backs into the wound to give the real deal gore effect. If I got an action figure I didn't like for a gift --it was much like the little kid in Toy Story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 i have to pee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 earl, thats a good thing the kid who owned the good toys was the biggest pussy ever the other little kid was skating & rocking a zero shirt, getting in all kinds of fun shit at an early age Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I think I was 21 when Zero started pushing boards out. When I was playing with action figures, I was probably wearing some Scott Baio classic rugby shirt or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q666 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 used to write these stories when i was in middle school it was an ongoing saga about these rabid hindu bears and it involved all the kids in the class and the teacher getting killed and eaten or killed by me and other kids when we turned against them nowadays that shit wouldnt fly at all, back then they just said youre weird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackfatsoe Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 great story, post a picture of it little kid handwriting is the shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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