stoopit Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 http://glossynews.com/society/201001070305/activists-missing-after-declaring-war-on-leather-at-motorcycle-rally/ Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials. “Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.” The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.” According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began. “They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!” “I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.” Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.” Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations. “That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.” When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Wallbanger Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Where the fuck did you find this? Cracked magazine? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 fuck yes, bikers rule Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoopit Posted January 12, 2010 Author Share Posted January 12, 2010 Oh ya guys sorry I forgot to mention the bikers also farted on the hippies heads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolling nowhere Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 i hate hippies more than r&b. no i dont. FUCK HIPPIES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnifeHits RS Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Glossy News = The Onion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kill yo'self Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 haha thats funny as hell, this got me "i was almost a woman." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Best shit ever!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Makes ya sorta want to join a local biker gang, doesn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 i peed a little when i read this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B40-8 Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 If its true, its hilarious, finally someone does something back to these retard groups. I can throw water balloons on you, but dont do anything back to me, If its not true, its still funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I'm going to have to wash my hands in preparation of all the facepalming I am about to endure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i eat babies Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 yeeeesss 12oz back on point in 2010 with the hilarious news stories! edit: just read all the comments about how its fake.. /dissapointedoner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i66233 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 holy shit those tampons^ i don't feel like reading the article, but that picture is awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autoteller Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 further solidifying why i fucking love bikers. the article probably didn't tell you about how they ransacked their van and probably stole all their weed. bikers LOVE weed. probably more than hippies, which is hard as fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortFuse Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Fake or not Im pretty sure the same thing would of happened in real life if some prancing hippies jumped around in biker convention bashing how they all wore what they wore. See the thing is about some of these activists that I hate is that theyre so quick to judge. And when the accuse they just dont mention it to people they bash and slander most the time. I mean there are ways to go about things that give you a professional look so you can speak you mind. I dunno I just woke up and it kinda ruined my morning thinking about it. I need coffee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autoteller Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 long story short, wearing anything but leather on a bike sucks. you fall, and your skin is obliterated. hippies aren't gonna change any minds on this issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 long story short, wearing anything but leather on a bike sucks. you fall, and your skin is obliterated. hippies aren't gonna change any minds on this issue. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ptx74lGDkNs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdork Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Awesome.. Im a long time vegetarian, but not a dirty hippie that would be retarded enough to protest at a biker rally, their lucky all they got was getting pissed and farted on. Did they really think the bikers would be like"oh your right I shouldnt wear leather"... haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnifeHits RS Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Oh so your thing is to say 'motherfucker' a lot...... I to-tallllly get it now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belmonts Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 :D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnifeHits RS Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 La Trene’ Ass Motherfucker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 they should have beat the shit out of them also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 SO YOUR THING IS TO GET MEGA PROPS AND LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THAT LITTLE MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER YA BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER GET A MOTHERFUCKING LIFE ^^ has a point lol. true for us all maybe? still, pot calling the kettle black. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screambloodygore Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 wait for me gang! i wanna use the tape! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francis buxton Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I'm going to have to wash my hands in preparation of all the facepalming I am about to endure. Smartest post in this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 ENJOY YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN THIRD TAMPON MOTHERFUCKER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francis buxton Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 ENJOY YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN THIRD TAMPON MOTHERFUCKER I think he probably will. Motherfuckwhatever = ThelessfunnyToiletseat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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