SwampFightOner Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 One time, well it was a few nights ago, this girl gave me head for an hour or so and her mouth starting bleeding. Hahaha. /nopencildickoner. I once was sucking on a girl's tits and started nibbling on her nipples, and when she got real into it and starting telling me to bite harder I did until they started bleeding haha. She got all bugged out, and my drunk ass sauntered out of the room into the packed kitchen where Manute and co. were playing pong and stated very simply "I bit that bitches' nipples til they bled...who's got next?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted January 11, 2010 Author Share Posted January 11, 2010 I once was sucking on a girl's tits and started nibbling on her nipples, and when she got real into it and starting telling me to bite harder I did until they started bleeding haha. She got all bugged out, and my drunk ass sauntered out of the room into the packed kitchen where Manute and co. were playing pong and stated very simply "I bit that bitches' nipples til they bled...who's got next?" Hahahaha. win. One time, Miley and I were walking downtown when some dad with a four year old son tried to fight me because I said "shut the fuck up". He got mad at us for jay walking. So we beat him up and kidnapped his son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Hahahaha I took my niece to the zoo once, and one of the buildings with monkeys/reptiles/etc etc had a sign that said you weren't supposed to bring strollers in. I opened the door and looked, saw plenty of people with strollers, figured fuck it...the zoo is really for the kids anyways right? Anyways, going through it I kinda blocked the path of this one dude for a second, so I moved and was like "Oh my bad". As I'm about to walk away this nerd ass, huge camera around his neck muthafucka goes "That's why they're not supposed to fucking be in here", and keeps moving. He didn't notice me coming up behind him I guess (no homo), cuz when he turned around and saw me his eyes bugged out of his head. I was just like "Why don't you say it again you fucking faggot and I choke you out in front of your kids?". Needless to say, he didn't say anything. I saw the same asshole an hour or two later pushing his own kid out of the way so he could get a better picture of a fucking snow leopard. Some people are just such fucking dicks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohnoone Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 ^haha. back when the sixth sense came out on video i got all high and went and rented that shit. I paid with a five and my change was six cents. mind blowing 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted January 11, 2010 Author Share Posted January 11, 2010 Seriously. don't start a fight in front of your kids for no reason. that's just immature and makes you look bad. I was tempted to beat his ass, but it was like rush hour and we were on a blunt mission. plus that'd be fucking embarassing for him. Haha. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 when i was 19 i rented 'bust a nut in grandmas butt'; the goddamn porn store called my sister's house and left a message on her answering machine regarding my late title. she thought it was funny enough to tell our entire family... ^^ive told that story on here before, but it never gets old... another time me and a homie had to chase my 10lb dog around my apartment cause he ran off with a half ounce of raw. luckily he didnt puncture the baggy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter_Milkshake Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWeSBFiKmmU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLICKCLACKONER Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 i was in a car and my buddy was driving. he can't see well at night. we took out an old lady's civic door. pulled over to check and the old lady asked us "did you see the truck that hit my door?" we looked at each other and said "no, are you ok?" then we left and went to the club. cool story br0. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 one time my buddy took a trip south to paint SF, came back with photos of his shit... "oh shit, you got a fill in on saks 5th aves rooftop?!?!" "what the fuck is saks 5th avenue? is it like a known spot or something?" :lol: /nh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SystemFailure Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I witnessed a kid cut his hand half open starting from the side of the palm with a bandsaw. In retrospect I should of asked him if he needed a hand with that. So many opportunities wasted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 One time my friends and I were skating this spot when we found a cell phone. It was really nice for it's time (this was a few years back) and it had Colin Quinn's phone number in there. We called it, and it really was him, and he started to get super pissed after about 30 minutes. We got scared and ditched the phone after he threatened us you were scared of some 13 year old faggot? i mean, i wouldnt put it past the little shit to release his bodyguards on you two had they been there in person, but the sensible thing to do wouldve been to take a copy of all his contacts before throwing it in an overflowing urinal for an exponentially good time/possibilities Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocodile Tears Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 CC my grandmother cried for 3 weeks after that, she hasn't driven since that day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HUSK Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 i'm sure you will find this funny.. this one time i was smoking a L on the roof of a club downtown during winter maybe 5 years ago, and in the alley there was a dude fapping, yelling "Who want's to suck some cock!!!?" we laughed at him for a minute thinking he'd just leave and it was a joke, but he didn't.we ended up spitting on him a couple times from about 8 stories up and threw a chair at him but he was too fucked up to realize it came from above him. we ended up breaking into the building to get out becuase the guy wouldn't leave the alley and we didn;t want to go down the fire escape into the alley of "who wants to suck some cockville". after fbreaking into the building the only door we could get out is into the alley so we grabbed nail's ready to stabb this drunk crazed bum, but he had disappeared behind the dumpster wihle we came out of the building. super crazy story! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I went to go paint Amtrak one night with like 4 or 5 other people, and as we were going through the bushes to get to the part of the fence that was cut I noticed something moving. All of a sudden I jumped back like YO, WHAT THE FUCK?!. Turns out there's a bum just standing there mad creepy, so we tell him to move so we can go through and he says "Nah, come on, you're fine, just walk by me" After a minute or so of arguing we're like yo, what the fuck are you doing, move and he responds "I'M WACKIN IT!" hahaha We ended up throwing a full cup of soda on him from McDonalds and he finally took off, it was fucking hilarious. I have a flick somehwere of my simple that night with a "I'M WACKIN IT!" tag underneath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted January 12, 2010 Author Share Posted January 12, 2010 One time I made this girl finger herself in front of me for like 2 hours sitting on a quad. She was sober and butt naked. While I was fully clothed, super drunk and off alot of coke. It was really funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autoteller Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 found an iphone 3 days after the launch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted January 12, 2010 Author Share Posted January 12, 2010 One time, me and the homie drink alot of wine and kick it with these girls. They didn't drink at all. I'm not sure how it happened but I was making out with one of the girls in the front seats of her car while my friend was in the back seat doing shit with the other girl. I start fingering her and she tells me "I'm not gonna fuck you". I said okay and continued. Soon, she asks "Do you have a condom". I say no, and she says fuck it. I fucked her in the front seat while the homie hit her friend in the back. Middle of the day, super wasted, in a parking lot. they were sober, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrasivesaint Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 this one time, in alabama, we stayed with these 2 girls, one of which had a boyfriend who ended up calling her multiple times just to end up having a "friendly" conversation with me, long story short, 2 blowjobs, 2 fuckings, and a girl voluntarily getting pissed on later, we left birmingham alabama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GamblersGrin Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 One time, me and the homie drink alot of wine and kick it with these girls. They didn't drink at all. I'm not sure how it happened but I was making out with one of the girls in the front seats of her car while my friend was in the back seat doing shit with the other girl. I start fingering her and she tells me "I'm not gonna fuck you". I said okay and continued. Soon, she asks "Do you have a condom". I say no, and she says fuck it. I fucked her in the front seat while the homie hit her friend in the back. Middle of the day, super wasted, in a parking lot. they were sober, too. dont you know when a girl says no she really means yes. cmon dude, gets serious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnifeHits RS Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 This one time Gucci Mane came over and washed a sink full of my dirty dishes. I thanked him, he left.. and then went directly to jail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 ^I've heard Gucci does the dishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 this one time while in the dentist waiting room, i read a complex magazine (cringe) it was today thou, and 12oz was in it. i snapped a picture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted January 12, 2010 Author Share Posted January 12, 2010 One time this girl threw up on my dick whilst sucking it...and then kept sucking. We call her Pukey Cock now hahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Nice Punky Brewster like ring to that. Classy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 One time this girl threw up on my dick whilst sucking it...and then kept sucking. We call her Pukey Cock now hahaha. I've made 2 girls gag and throw up while sucking my dick, but both times it was very little. I've been told I can get very forceful at times haha I once rolled out of bed after sex, sat in my computer chair, threw up, looked up at my girl, and said "I'm so classy you might as well call me Young Sinatra bitch" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boxcarrapist Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 One time(saturday) fucked a nurse on her lunch break in the parking lot of a closed dialysis clinic. True story bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screambloodygore Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro dePaca Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 this one time, in alabama, we stayed with these 2 girls, one of which had a boyfriend who ended up calling her multiple times just to end up having a "friendly" conversation with me, long story short, 2 blowjobs, 2 fuckings, and a girl voluntarily getting pissed on later, we left birmingham alabama. i;m pretty sure none of that stuff is legal in alabama. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miley Cyrus Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 hahaha! that guy with his son was a faggot. one time i was hella loaded off 4loko walking down the street in downtown seattle at like midnight. so i ask this guy in front of a bar for a cig and he pulls his pack out and hands it to me then says yea tak your pick, so i just walk off with his pack. there was like 17 in there and me and the homie smoked them all at the bus stop, when i got on the bus i threw up all over myself and the window and floor and shit. i hear OH SHIT THIS KID THROWIN UP! im just like im lok'd. got put on POB that night. woke up the next day with throw up crust all over my jacket but i still rocked that shit, it was cold as shit. and i smelled like throw up. PUKING ON BUSSES. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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