Realism Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. i was with about 20 or so of my friends at my dudes house. had to take a shit cuz we ordered like 8 pizzas and 5 or 6 people didnt eat. so i run to the bathroom while theyre all in his garage. i discovered that night that for whatever fucked reason his family takes toilet paper in and out of the bathroom with each visit they make to it. i spend a good 20 minutes hollering for help after searching the bathroom for makeshift asscleaning materials. they cant hear me. so i walk around his house with chocolate residue massive in the crack of my ass looking for their paper stash to find nothing. ditch boxers return to garage and spend the rest of the night until the next morning claiming that i have a terrible farting problem with grease. This is so grimy. You don't have a cell phone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tae Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. i was out having food with friends one night, exchanging hilarious/disgusting stories. One guy told us how he had shit his pants one time.... i found this hilarious and made fun of him all night. on the walk home, i shat my pants. right on my road, i could see my house, but could not hold it in KARMA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegatree Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I was taking a 2 hour trip back to my house from spending a weekend at a college.. i was with a sexy bitch that i was talking to at the time and sadly had a mcalisters deli french dip before we left.. Needless to say with 10 minutes left in the trip I convinced her that we needed to fill up the gas tank even though we were half full.. we stop at the gas station and i thought the door was thick enough to shield the noises of shit hitting tile when i couldnt make it to the toilet fast enough.. i also didnt know that my girl followed me in and heard the battle cries coming out of my ass in the bathroom.. last 10 minutes of the trip felt like 10 hours.. havent talked to her since Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P3ZS Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. This is so grimy. You don't have a cell phone? the one i had broke due to half the people their moshing in the garage about ten minutes b4/ shittiest night of my life(PUN HAHAHAHA) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Damn dude. Should have made do with one of the towels just to teach a lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P3ZS Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. my dudes house is impossible to find shit in unless you live there. actually no. i did live for a while and still had issues finding things. i just went to friends houses for shitting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolling nowhere Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. i shit my pants blacked out drunk after or during trying to kill someone. literally kill not some exageration of beating someone up or something. i just woke up on a sidewalk not knowing where the fuck i was. stood up and felt a little weird in the pants region. looked down and saw shit on the side of my shoe. it was foul. i walked a lot of miles. in the wrong direction. still drunk. with shitty pants. then i had to ride the bus. i kind of got lucky because there were only 3 or 4 people on the bus. it was pretty bad. i usually leave that part out of the story so you guys just got the directors cut. i like how i told the same story 2 times in here. i need to lay off the sauce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWEKDUBS Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. hahaha some of this .shit. is gold haha one time when i was about 14-15 i think my mum kicked me out for about 5 nights due to graffiti related charges etc and the dudes house i was staying at for almost a week rocks upto me in the morning and says o dude you gotta leave were driving up north in like 2 hours and im just like fuuuuck and i have breakfast and a shower a all that and they were gunna drop me home on there way to wereever the fuck they were going. At this time its about 10 mins after they were meant to leave ( they had to be there at a certain time to make a family function thingy ) And i feel a shit coming on like one of those realll creapy little fuckers that bounce up on you and im faced with this dilema do i go now and try shit all i can ( i always take my time in the toilet so its hard for me to powershit ) or just wait till they drop me home , anyway i decide ill wait so they drop me about 1 block from my house and i start walking holding my ass to prevent me soaking myself with the brown stuff and i feel it coming on again REAL STRONG to the point i have to sit down on the ground till it kinda goes anyway i do that and i get home and knock on the door my mums home and she comes to the door and says i kicked you out now your crawling back and im just like fuck mum im gunna shit on your fucking door step if you dont let me in , she dosnt take it literally and closes the door im thinking FUCK ! So i creep round to the window and get half way in a BWWWWWAROP shit creeps out my ass and all down my legs and im still tryna get into the window and shit and my mum hears me and tells me to fuck off. I had to sit outside with shit all down my legs for about 3 hours till she let me in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbian Fisting Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Ive shit my pants 4 times in 2010. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeCool901 Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. lots of beer drinking ontop of wierd food or no food will do me in .... beerfarts turn into beerruns Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mewzer Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. coffee + cigarettes + beer + microwave food Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. amy reid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. so there i was, skyping with the wife when i felt the pressure of a fart, so casually i leaned to my left. "Hey babe, i gotta fart, this is gonna be loud!" 3 2 1 "fuck. i think i just shit my pants. yep. fuck. call you back in a bit." so i shit my pants technically in front of my wife. oops. this was a lesson learned in "don't eat the foods offered by the afghani border police. i've shit 15 times today. my ass is chapped. the last time i shit my pants was in 7th grade. and it wasn't this messy. sigh. Actually, that's more of a lesson learned on deliberately farting infront of your wife. Real men don't do that, and real men would be sickened if their wives did that infront of them. All these idiots who talk about farting and shitting infront of their wives/husbands somehow making them closer are fucking morons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. One time i shitted my pants in the bar after a four day drinking binge with little to no sleep and food, so the shit wasnt called shit anymore. after that i biked the way home standing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesbian Fisting Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Damn DAO, 15+ Im impressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Actually, that's more of a lesson learned on deliberately farting infront of your wife. Real men don't do that, and real men would be sickened if their wives did that infront of them. All these idiots who talk about farting and shitting infront of their wives/husbands somehow making them closer are fucking morons. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. its about time for a shityerpantssooperthread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francis buxton Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire15 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. i had food poisoning 4 years ago and i was blasting diarreah and vomiting everywhere at the same time. it was terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qawee Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. :) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. :biglaugh::nut::spent3: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toluene_causes_tumors Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. 15 beers a night? sounds like man breasts and erectile dysfunction. have fun with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
da1lyoperations Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I haven't shit my pants since I was... Fuck knows, no time that I can remember. The closest was a few months ago when I woke up feeling sick, went to the toilet and started vomiting, next thing I can feel my ass trembling so I jump onto the toilet and the second my pants come down it was piss out the ass. Straight bumwee. Luckily the shower is right next to the toilet so I was throwing up in the shower and shitting at the same time. Fell off the toilet a few times due to violent heaving... That was a mess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwampFightOner Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Actually, that's more of a lesson learned on deliberately farting infront of your wife. Real men don't do that, and real men would be sickened if their wives did that infront of them. All these idiots who talk about farting and shitting infront of their wives/husbands somehow making them closer are fucking morons. Nah br0, guys can fart in front of their girls, but definitely NOT the other way around. However, shitting in front of anyone else, married or not, is mad weird. the last person I shit in front of would have to be my mom, before I learned to wipe my own ass. So AT LEAST 3 years ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CancerDancer Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. yous the champ:king: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freakeenyc Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Also I haven't shit my pants since I was like 3 or 4 years old. And I drink 15+ beers a night, and more at parties. Some of you people have some real issues on your hands. :p:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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