Fist 666 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. haha. public sharting is the worst. atleast i was able to sneak to the bathroom relatively unnoticed. my wife, though sympathetic to me being sick as a dog, is now laughing constantly at the thought of me shitting my pants in front of her. some good stories in here. keep it up. i know more of y'all are guilty... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tavaruawon Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. Hmm. I kind of want to start a thread about poo-dollar. Not sure how that would go over though, and lord knows I can't risk my green beens. Hmm. Poo dollar... I might just have to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllTheWrongWords Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. Throwback 4th grade poopants story.... or 2nd grade maybe. There I was being an ass in class, laughing it up, cuttin snow and talkin bitches. Usual 2nd grade stuff. Teacher starts hating on the game n shit ends up cockblockin me from recess. So there I was sidelining, while my boys were on the dirt slangin pixy sticks n pop rocks. Alasuden, I feel it. Tummy's night sitting right and me, trying not get into any further trouble, start trying to get the teachers attention for some potty permission. Bitch walks away n I'm like fuck! This is happening. I run towards the nearest facility and start crying like a bitch cuz my ninja turtles underwear is startin to look like splinter. End up in the nurses office, sitting next to my nigga and he says "It smells like cat poop." :crap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thequeen Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. bwuahahahahahahaha best scene 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. ^^^ That's my friends mum!! haha he gets all embarassed when you ask "here? is your mum the lassie who gets covered in shite in trainspotting?!?" he really doesn't like talkin' aboot it. i'm sure someone else told me she takes it from behind in another movie. Acid house i think... anyhoo. on to my shite story... we had to do P.E once, so the whole class walks to the pool, where the class in the year above were just leaving, this actual midget starts fuckin' aboot furiously trying to tie his trunks in knots, i said to a mate "here what the fuck is nigel doin'?" then just after we saw a chair leg float to the surface bside where he was trying to get oot. the same mate just points and laughs then shouts "OH YA FUCKER! NIGEL JUST SHAT IN THE POOL!!!" we all stood aboot and laughed while the teacher had to fish it oot with a big net. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. i appreciate your participation in my thread, and thanks for the story, but can you do it in english? but srsly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. i appreciate your participation in my thread, and thanks for the story, but can you do it in english? but srsly... lassie = girl aboot = about chair leg = shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLU Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enmity Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. looooool good story to wake up to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smashed tangerine Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. I suppose diarrhoea(?) doesn't quite count for when it comes to being hilariously accidental, but I still did shit myself so... I remember I had a bout of the runny shit once at school - had slimy shit in my pants the whole day. It was the first year of senior school (or 'high school' to most of you, I'd imagine) and our lessons consisted of the same people, in the following four years it was a mixture. All the people in my class were all wondering where 'that smell was coming from', near the end of the school day I noticed somebody had crouched down behind me as I was sat in a chair, I then said ''what are you doing?... GAY!'' that caught him off guard (or maybe it was the smell) and he went back to his desk and the day finished. Nobody started up any insults the following day so, I don't think anyone knew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameaintbic Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. win Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonCheadle Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. .....while skyping :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeeWhy-ish Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Re: I shit my pants today. While I have shit on my self a few times, the best story is of my homie in SA. So he's chilling at the strip club getting drunk and doing a lot of coke(cause you know it's a tittie bar) and bam. Coke shits while sitting down. While this would have ended my night, Homie goes to the bathroom removes his boxies, washes them in the sink and dries them with one of those blow dryer, walks out and keeps the party going. Rubbing Tittie Dancers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter_Milkshake Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. http://www.12ozprophet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=129844&highlight=sharting Sharting thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. This thread's opening post is way better though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. My girlfriend had a wet burrito for the first time the other week. Somehow we ended up in a walmart because I wanted to laugh at people. She rips a gross fart... I'm like "haha nice one". She wasn't laughing because she sharted her pants. Priceless. tic tac awarded Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro dePaca Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. when i was in 2nd or 3rd grade this new kid showed up..he hadnt been there long. so were sitting there and some kid is all..whats that gross smell or some shit. so theyre thinking it was something in the AC. the teacher was doing some sherlock homles shit and it turns out new kid shit his pants and didnt tell anyone. embarassed? yes. his name was pacer. do you know him? where oh where did you go pacer? i feel like ive talked about this on here before. maybe. haha. we had a kid in 4th grade called duncan. dude had duke stains on his pants at least a few times a week and always smelled like a rotten septic tank. everybody teased the shit out of him all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Farts are a double edged comedic sword. the oontz delivering wisdom on the regular Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crave Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. Only drink the tea, and even then, that's after you've watched it boil for several minutes. Just a word of advice.. (The flat bread is cool too.) Funny story; after a couple of weeks of eating MREs I was ready to try something else, so our terp hooked us up with some of the local cuisine. It was sort of like a one for one swap, the terps took a few MREs and we got whatever-the-fuck they were eating. The next few days were miserable, pissing shit is never fun. Later, our terp expressed his extreme displeasure in shitting a solid log...he'd never done so before. We concluded that pissing shit must be the norm. Again, just the tea, only drink the tea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I read this thread, and the shart thread, earlier today and thought to myself "wow I've never done that". Must be karma 'cause I sharted in the shower. At least it was in the shower and all I had to do was hop to the toilet and finish the poo. Thankfully I was at the end of my shower routine and was about to wash my balloon knot anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fist 666 Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. no doubt crave, i don't fuck with any of it anymore except for the tea. you back stateside? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted February 26, 2010 Share Posted February 26, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I read this thread and the one about sharting and thought to myself "hahahaha what a bunch of dumb asses". As if god was watching me, I was cursed with a shart today. Lucky for me I was in the shower and near the end of my routine so I had to wash my balloon knot anyway. A strange feeling, the shart... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob steal Posted February 26, 2010 Share Posted February 26, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. sharting caught on camera http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1266822851/News_Reporter_Shits_Herself_During_Interview 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rolling nowhere Posted February 26, 2010 Share Posted February 26, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. i shit my pants blacked out drunk after or during trying to kill someone. literally kill not some exageration of beating someone up or something. i just woke up on a sidewalk not knowing where the fuck i was. stood up and felt a little weird in the pants region. looked down and saw shit on the side of my shoe. it was foul. i walked a lot of miles. in the wrong direction. still drunk. with shitty pants. then i had to ride the bus. i kind of got lucky because there were only 3 or 4 people on the bus. it was pretty bad. i usually leave that part out of the story so you guys just got the directors cut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chopsticks Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I nearly followed through when I was making food in the kitchen last night, thought I was gonna have to shit in my cats litter tray. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I've always thought about doing that, just to show my GF's cats whose boss. Just imagine the look on a cats face when they have to confront a human size poo in their box. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P3ZS Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. omfg. i kind of ignored this thread for a couple days and no ones posting right now so i decided why not. holy shit. fist you are a god amongst thread starters. this SHIT is fucking classic. i guess i should tell my story i was with about 20 or so of my friends at my dudes house. had to take a shit cuz we ordered like 8 pizzas and 5 or 6 people didnt eat. so i run to the bathroom while theyre all in his garage. i discovered that night that for whatever fucked reason his family takes toilet paper in and out of the bathroom with each visit they make to it. i spend a good 20 minutes hollering for help after searching the bathroom for makeshift asscleaning materials. they cant hear me. so i walk around his house with chocolate residue massive in the crack of my ass looking for their paper stash to find nothing. ditch boxers return to garage and spend the rest of the night until the next morning claiming that i have a terrible farting problem with grease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elorock Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. I remember I had a teacher who would make us do P.E even if we didn't have our kit. (white shirt, shorts and plimsolls) One kid didn't have his kit, so he had to wear what he had underneath his school uniform: vest and underpants. I was several feet behind him with his back facing towards me, and noticed he was trying to get the teacher's attention, as he was waving his arm about I noticed a lumpy snake-like bulge rapidly forming in his underpants. Shenanigans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feed Yer Ego Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 Re: I shit my pants today. A friend of mine once tried to fart in another friend's face, and shit himself. That was pretty amazing. Another time, I saw this dude try to pull the old "cup your hand over a fart and then stick it in someone's face" gag, and instead wind up with a handful of warm diarrhea. Farts are a double edged comedic sword. one time i was meeting my friend and his gf at his crib but they were out walking around when i was walking up from far away so i ran up real fast like i was excited to see dude, but then jumped mad high in the air, did a 180 and farted hella loud and stank in his girl's face if i would've sharted that would've been the trillest self-pwnage evarrr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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