earmuffs Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 When it is raining, it is because he is sad. Even his parrot's advice is insightful. If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men's entire lower intestines. His shirts never wrinkle. He is left-handed. And right-handed. Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there. He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn't admit it. You can see his charisma from space. The police often question him, just because they find him interesting. He once punched a magician. That's right. You heard me. When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs...where there is no turning back. If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance. Most songs about love are written for him, about him, or by him. He'd never initiate a conversation about the weather, even in a typhoon. He's against cruelty to animals, but isn't afraid to issue a stern warning. Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side. If he crossed them, he would still be the right side. He won the same lifetime achievement award twice. It is said the sun comes up later on the 6th of May, in case his Cinco parties run long. The Mayans prophecized his birth. Even lucha libres remove their masks in his presence. He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish. He serves sizzling fajita platters barehanded. Bulls flat-out refuse to fight him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Sheen Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Didn't this guy have an awkward moment just to see what it felt like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperface Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Sounds like a fucking asshole to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francis buxton Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I liked him better when he was Chuck Norris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B!G D Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 So how is the beer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 He wears a red suit and rides in style listening to Christmas in Hollis. His balls, much colder than a witches titties. He's filled more than your moms stocking on Christmas eve. He's starred in over 400 dwarf porn films, pretty impressive for a non dwarf. He pulls up in a sleigh and slays that pussy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 The beer is alright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 The green bottles suck, the Amber bottles are filled with dopeness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DopeInMySpleen Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dos Equis ain't bad, I drink it all the time at my local mexi joint. The ad campaign is better than the beer IMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Tecate ftw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DopeInMySpleen Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 ^ this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PROBably Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 eh the amber is ok...i dont always drink beer but when i do its dos equis. lol negro modello is also good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnifeHits RS Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Isn't this the man that rap battled Joe Budden?... And won. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B!G D Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 well the ad has convinced me. i need to try this beer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 He's fluent in Russian, in 5 languages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 He's won the SAME lifetime achievement award, TWICE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Clever and laugh inducing ad campaign. Seems like it helped them out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earmuffs Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 well the ad has convinced me. i need to try this beer How can it not. He doesn't even drink beer! But when he does is dos equis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
...HSAMSnoytiC Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 iv been using this guy as my spoksperson on here for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 those broads he's with are less than interesting. does that bitch to his right got braces? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HydrogenPeroxide Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dude, COS, how exactly are you raping the internet? You can barely type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 those broads he's with are less than interesting. does that bitch to his right got braces? its cool hes got money Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.hopeless. Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 he's like a mexican sean connery.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 he once slipped out of jnco & into tight jeans just to see what it felt like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Isn't this the man that rap battled Joe Budden?... And won. so did his kid's entire kindergarden class... "even the slow ones." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IHATEU Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRUCE LEROY Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 ....and he drinks shitty beer? and i gotta say watermarking your joke pictures on here may actually be the gayest thing ive ever seen, and ive walked down 13th street.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable.. Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 So I looked this guy up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Goldsmith Didn't find him to be interesting at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 He was in every sitcom in the 80's. Idk, that's pretty interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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