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earmuffs

The most intersting man in the world.

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When it is raining, it is because he is sad.

 

Even his parrot's advice is insightful.

 

If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men's entire lower intestines.

 

His shirts never wrinkle.

 

He is left-handed. And right-handed.

 

Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.

 

He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn't admit it.

 

You can see his charisma from space.

 

 

The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.

 

He once punched a magician. That's right. You heard me.

 

When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs...where there is no turning back.

 

If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance.

 

dos-equis.jpg

 

Most songs about love are written for him, about him, or by him.

 

He'd never initiate a conversation about the weather, even in a typhoon.

 

He's against cruelty to animals, but isn't afraid to issue a stern warning.

 

Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side. If he crossed them, he would still be the right side.

 

He won the same lifetime achievement award twice.

 

 

 

It is said the sun comes up later on the 6th of May, in case his Cinco parties run long.

 

The Mayans prophecized his birth.

 

Even lucha libres remove their masks in his presence.

 

He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish.

 

He serves sizzling fajita platters barehanded.

 

Bulls flat-out refuse to fight him.

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He wears a red suit and rides in style listening to Christmas in Hollis.

 

His balls, much colder than a witches titties.

 

He's filled more than your moms stocking on Christmas eve.

 

He's starred in over 400 dwarf porn films, pretty impressive for a non dwarf.

 

He pulls up in a sleigh and slays that pussy.

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Clever and laugh inducing ad campaign.

 

Seems like it helped them out.

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well the ad has convinced me. i need to try this beer

How can it not. He doesn't even drink beer! But when he does is dos equis

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