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earl broclo ESQ

Love/Hate Christmas

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Love: Being drunk by mid afternoon, aggravating my pops to say "JESUS CHRIST would you shut up" over 100 times (on the supposed celebration of baby Jesus), then sitting down at 6:30pm for Chinese takeout as my whole family tries to offend my father as much as possible throughout the dinner.

 

Hate: The Best Buy Christmas carolers.

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Chinese takeout on Christmas? Seriously?

 

I did that once, but it was because my mother kicked me out of the house on Christmas

 

An event, by the way, that she vehemently denies ever happened

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Not into Christmas, but I don't knock it either. Just not my thing.

 

Probably the thing that irritates me the most is when you need beer/smokes/TP and 7-11 is closed...then it dawns on you that Satish and Govinder probably aren't at Mass or eating a ham dinner while you're standing in front of a pair of locked doors in your time of need.

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Love: for some reason pussy is easier this time of year. Hell yeah chinese takeout. Being too cool for gifts and gay christmas shit. Not giving a fuck about christmas. decorations. Vacation,travle,days off work.

 

Hate: salvation army beggers bells. the below zero weather outside. christmas music. consumerism. seeing happy families of grown people (not young kids, like tenns and above with parents and cousins and shit, no love). santa. people telling strangers happy holdiays or mery christmas. being alone eating at boston market on christmas day/eve/thanksgiving/new years etc...I should be fucking miserable but i dont give enough of a fuck to think about it that way.

 

the list goes on

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7-11 closes on Christmas where you are? That sucks

 

However, our 7-11's can't sell beer, so you have that advantage every other day

 

Edit: To Shai

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It's no different than any other day for me, except as shai said, lots of places are closed. I'll probably eat a sandwich and sit around my apartment. Maybe i'll go to a bar and try to fuck some lonely jewish women.

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I spent last xmas severely hungover. I figured the day would be a wash anyhow, may as well get blackout drunk on xmas eve and sleep through it.

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Maybe i'll go to a bar and try to fuck some lonely jewish women.

 

This is one area where Yelp might come in really handy.

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did they tell you in a dramatic way one day like in the movies or do they mention it all the time or something like that? do you really love them? anything? are you black or chinese or some shit like that? do you think about it a lot? do you tell everyone? do you feel like you dont belong? left out? ignored? tippy toe around the house?

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love: getting presents, mostly money since my family can't be bothered trying to figure out what i like

-giving kickass presents to nieces and nephews

-xmas bonus at work (not alot, just a $75 best buy card, but it's useful)

-christmas food is generally much better than thanksgiving food

 

hate: listening to asshole relatives whine about the "war on christmas"

-christmas music (except vince guaraldi)

-cold weather

-getting presents from people that you don't expect presents from and feeling obligated to buy them meaningless shit. usually i just end up buying them lotto scratch offs.

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I figured the day would be a wash anyhow, may as well get blackout drunk on xmas eve and sleep through it.

 

This sounds like a plan.

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Love- when neighborhoods come together and do the whole Christmas

hoopla, Christmas dinners, my ma makes biscochitos

cookies this time of the year and they are awesome, family

from out of town comes over.

 

Hate- Suicide calls increase during this time of the

year at my job...I like that potential um suicidees (?)

call someone for help instead of ya know

offing themselves...but those are really hard phone

conversations to be a part of/make me nervous.

I don’t like the whole gift giving thing much/ receiving.

I never know what to get anyone and usually go shopping last minute.

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You work at a suicide hotline? they really have those? sounds like a cake job for someone like me (I just dont give a fu...).

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