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this girl was mega trife.

 

Morgan.

 

red knows some fucked ass stories about that chick...

 

#1- OWNS a speculum.

 

#2- eats food while shitting

 

#3- will bust into bathroom to do make-up or just talk about nothing while you're shitting.

 

One time, after a long night of ecstasy pills and random other substances, i pissed in a vitamin water bottle, and left it on the computer table to dump it in the morning... Wake up, 3/4 of it is missing... nothing is wet, there were no spills. I woke old girl up like "Yo, did you drink out of this" she's like "yeah" i told her it was piss... her response: "oh well..."

 

AND mega notorious for "pull over i gotta piss" drop trow and sprinkle the sidewalk, ass to the street every fucking time.

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I pulled a filthy mcnasty from the club (the complex for all u prov heads) one wintery night,

 

almost killed both of us going threw the s-turns on 95 getting some dome, she was doing

 

too good of a job and i hit a patch of ice and started fishtailing hard, luckily my spidysence

 

came to and i popped out clean, but it was a foretelling that the future night was gona turn

 

out to be a disaster, sooooo, i take her back to my apartment which is on the third floor with

 

a winding spiral slippery ass hardwood floor staircase all the way up. So i give her the pipe

 

hardcore put her ass to sleep, the bitch wakes me up like 2hrs later rumaging around my

 

floor naked im like," wuts up?" shes like" i gota go n shit"( i drove her ho ass to my pad so

 

im half asleep, drizzed, just plain confused as to wut the fuck shes talking about) and i prop

 

my self up on my bed which suddenly is soaking wet! im like wtf? took me a second to put 2

 

n 2 together and im all "tell me u didnt piss my bed bitch!" She starts crying saying " i gota

 

go" runs out the door naked clothes in hand to said slippery ass 3story staircase, to me goin

 

noooooooo! in slow motion knowing all well wuts gona happen,,,,,, thump the thump thump

 

thuuump booom!!! "soft wimpering" The bitch ends up 2 1/2 floors down upside down naked

 

against the wall in the pile-driver position! My neighbor below me this kinda cute black chik

 

comes out takes one look at her one look at me throws her hands up says " i dont even

 

wana know!" and goes back to her crib. I help the ho up back to bed ( had to flip the

 

mattress cuz of lil miss waterworks). An hour later i wake up the chik is ghost i go down to

 

my door and i look out it was snowing lightly and i could see her flip flop prints in the snow

 

leading away from my pad, i said " peace bitch " and went back to bed.

 

the end

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i used to work at a pharmacy when i was younger.

 

so this old man walks in kinda rushin saying i need the bathroom.

me "hold on", i bring him to the bathroom and on my way back i smell shit everywhere.

i just thought he farted or something whatever, then everyone that saw him starts telling me shit was running down his leg as i brought him back there ( i was in front) so i go back to check on him.

dude bounced! i go to check the bathroom shit all over the walls.. i mean everywhere, along with his pants shirt shoes socks you name it if he wore it in there, there is where it stayed.

 

i still cant imagine a naked ass old dude walkin the streets

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hooked up with my girls best friend one nite blackout drunk, thought it was a dream when i saw her naked next to me the next morning. then it turned to a nitemare bitch gets up in a daze (i hope) and pisses on the chair in her room two feet from me, im just trying to stay still. figured if i didnt move she wouldnt see me, either way she bounces now im out but theres a dead bolt and a three floor drop between me and freedom so i had to hide behind the couch for a while till i found the key, trying to make it a dream for both.

 

ended up forgetting my car keys in her room, bitch just moved in and unpacked with a grenade... clothes everywhere

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this one coke whore used to come to coke parties and got coke-weird every goddamn time she saw me. bitch would get all fucking snotty and sloppy while incessantly telling me the dumbest tangent ridden stories you could ever imagine.

 

she is also fine as fuck and i'd often listen in hopes of catching at least a solid nip slip...she had those perfect little chong broad tits that were always sportin hard nips and rarely concealed them with a bra.

 

i continued to listen to the stories over the next few weekends and finally decided to man up and move things forward. i finally get this tramp into my bed where she tells that last summer while trekking through the Indian desert, she slept inside a camel corpse to avoid the sandstorms. uuuh huh. I saw Man vs Wild that week too...

 

after putting my dick directly in her mouth she finally shut the fuck up...for a moment. i tenderized her ass shortly after and gave myself an 'attaboy' on my way to the shower. apparently she wasn't quiet too long bc most of the party had gathered outside my door to listen...buncha haters i say!

 

later, she joins me in the shower and we clean up. while in the common bathroom and drying off i mention how awful this bathroom has smelled since last weekend. at this point the bitch starts laughing and climbing up on the counter. she reaches back pulls out a pair of white, week old shit-panties hanging off of a q-tip.

 

i was overwhelmed, half hard (nh), angry and confused all at the same time. she goes on to tell me last weekend in the early morning hours they scored more coke that was apparently really dirty. both her and my roommate shit themselves after doing blow that had most likely been stepped on 8 times.

 

i no longer go to coke parties...but i'd still smash this coke whore again.

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i remember a friend of mine was telling me a story about a friend of his who knew this guy that took a girl and stuffed tuna in her vagina and proceeded to ram. they cleaned it out after...

 

 

few weeks later she started getting a pain in her crotch, went to the doc found out she didn't clean it enough and produced maggots.

 

 

 

hands down gentleman...hands down.

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This one time we threw a party at the homies crib cuz it was his birthday, everyone was wasted after the cops broke the party up my boy wanted to fuck this bitch that he met that night, he had heard stories of her being a slut so he was going to fuck her in the ass so it was tight we call him up the next day that bitch had took a shit on his carpet after he fucked so he didnt let the bitch leave untill she cleaned it...

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