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South African Thieves..

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Cape Town

officials can’t catch a break. First they land in global hot water for World Cup-related mass animal sacrifices. Then they have to go out of their way to promise athletes that they won’t get raped and murdered in the streets. And now they’ve got to deal with a crime wave being conducted by monkeys. We were going to dress up that last sentence and give it a little bit of exaggeration-fueled color, but it is what it is. A crime wave being conducted by monkeys.

 

The baboons are ransacking cities in organized troupes numbering dozens, complete with gang leaders and even gang nicknames. The head baboon is apparently called “Fred” and – while we don’t have a picture of Fred – we kind of imagine him in a leather mask a la Mad Max

. South African officials are trying to “keep them at bay” and failing, confirming that as a simple matter of what words mean, the animals are literally taking over:

 

City officials are battling to control the increasingly aggressive troupes and there are fears the problem will only worsen with the influx of visitors to Cape Town during the World Cup next year. On Tuesday, a troupe of 29 baboons raided four cars outside Simon’s Town, a small coastal neighborhood. A baboon dubbed “Fred,” the leader of the group, opened unlocked doors and jumped through windows to search for food. He ransacked a bag… A girl screamed nearby as a baboon hopped into her car through a back window. Others climbed on car roofs and hoods, looking for ways inside… “We spend the whole day basically rescuing tourists,” said Mark Duffels, a volunteer who monitors the baboons in an effort to keep them at bay.

 

This isn’t as bad as the organized monkey campaign in India to murder anti-monkey politicians, but that’s obviously where this is all heading. We’re not saying folks should be heading for the hills, but folks should be heading for the hills.

 

It's only a matter of time before the great war begins with these fuckers.

 

Bonus link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7055625.stm

About the killer monkeys in India..

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My fam is from SA. This sounds like the worst they have to worry about in Cape Town and the entire west. In the east ( Durban and Jo'Burg ) replace the word baboon with murdering raping thieving thugs and you have a police blotter.

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REAL TALK

 

Remember what those couple of chimps did....? Imagine a gang of them raping and pillaging Olympic athletes....

 

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

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His name is Fred.. Mother fucking FRED!!

 

They got us by looking all cute and shit, but I ain't fooled no more..

 

The war has begun.

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I'd rather have the .308...

 

theyd want to be able to have a easy clean up. not a fucking red mist of a head. .223 is the perfect round for monkeys, dont ask how i know.

 

 

and seriously, why arent there people walking around with .25 caliber pistols killin these motherfuckers????

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BBC anchors muttering to one another "We need to be very careful on how we comment on this"

 

Monkeys in Africa attacking Africans? I could see a problem there

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First aliens, now this shit?

Fuck that place, if I want to get killed by something ridiculous its sure not ganna be something that has snowball fights with its own shit

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First use of "go ham" I've ever seen on the oontz

 

You sir, win

 

Edit: To Tre

 

Someone had to break it in.

Who better?

:lol:

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