.hopeless. Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 granted,instead i break your nose. granted but they al agreed on a 20 dollar limit and you went way over that limit buying lavish gifts for your family.you think that they will appreciate it but instead they go into a psychotic rage and chop you up with an axe and throw you into the fireplace in place of firewood.the smell is unbareable and makes all the people on the block(who are at this time snowed in after the huge blizzard you guys just had) go crazy and fight each other to get out of the house,in the process killing themselves and eachother.come spring everyone in your neighborhood has died and took all their family with them.your officially named the worst person on earth becuase you managed to kill all those people,posthumously at that. shoulda stuck to that 20 dollar limit fool. i wish i wasnt so out of shape.i mean im not fat or anything but i realised after running for my life tonight that im slow as shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignition Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Granted, you are now half human half running machine, but you now run on 20 gallons of gas a day. I wish it would start warming up around here soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.hopeless. Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 granted,the temp rises to a cool 76 degrees and you decide to break out your summer clothes.you go to the beach wearing your flipflops and swim trunks for a nice little afternoon swm.unfortunately for you the tempature drops in a freakish natural phenomenon and you are frozen in ice.you stay frozen for a week or more in the middle of the ocean.some how you manage to stay alive,though youve suffered horrible frost bite.the water under you is melting but you are still trapped you get your hopes up thinking you could get out of this alive.but no.this is hopeless your talking to.there is no hope for you...(hence the name) anyways fish who are under you begin to eat away at your legs and other parts that are still submerged in the water.it is very painful but you are unable to shake them off of you.no matter how much you try they keep knibbling at your legs..when they finally find you your hands and face are blackened from the frostbite and your waist down is completely bone.they even ate your penis.you somehow manage to survive all this and spend the rest of your life as some freak with no legs and no penis. i wish i had a gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignition Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Granted but it's a squirt gun....that leaks all over.....and the pump barely works.. I wish i had something other to eat then these ginger snaps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.hopeless. Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 granted but all you have now are cakes. urinal cakes. i wish i had a real gun that shot bullets so i didnt have to run from people all the time.not that i plan on shooting anyone but im not trying to get caught slippin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boxcarules Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 R.A.W. RUIN A WISH,RUN A WHOPPER,RING-FINGERING ANOTHER WHORE..........................MAKE IT A CREW,ME AND THE OTHER EIGHT PEOPLE IN MY HEAD WANT TO JOIN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishsticks Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 i wish you had more tampons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.hopeless. Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 i wish you had more tampons. granted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoneCACA Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 I wish i wasnt reading this thread ever again. auto-granted. self-hi-five. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevem.yzerman Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 I wish they had a "high no more" product for weeed smokers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 I wish they had a "high no more" product for weeed smokers granted, it's called getting pulled over by the cops - unfortunately you're a drunk male prostitute too i wish my lawyer would straighten out these debt collectors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoneCACA Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 granted but you now need to pay your lawyer fuck! i came back... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madvillain Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 i wish toys would not self promote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 impossible. i wish these T.E.T's. (tough economic times) would void my restitution payments and make them disappear... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n8galicia Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 granted, but you are put in prison by the IRS for supposedly planning a ponzi scheme. I wish I had a tree that grew benjamins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
publicenemyno.3 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 granted, but the tree also likes to rape you. i wish my apartment would clean itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realism Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Granted, but it does so by spraying corrosive industrial solvents all over your belongings. I wish I had a glass of really cold water without having to get up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Granted, but Hugh Jackman is serving it to you.....naked. With Gary Coleman on his back. I wish these damn laptops would fix themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belmonts Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 granted, but now your laptop only plays samwell "what what in the butt" nonstop. i wish i had bacon to eat for breakfast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 granted - you cannibalize a cop & are charged accordingly i wish i had the power to make peoples heads spontaneously combust by the sheer power of my will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boxcarrapist Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Granted but upon the first attempt your head also explodes. Wish I wasnt so damn tired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siege1222 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Granted - but you utilize vast quantities of crystal meth, lose your mind, become so cracked out that you murder your entire family because you mistake them for evil cave dwellers. I wish i won the lottery (cliche BUT true) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuff Tone Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Granted - but u have tospend it on some1 else I wish I had 100 fine wives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belmonts Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 granted, but the winning prize is cheeto-feet. I wish I didn't have to wake up early tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOBER-GENTLEMAN-ONER Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Granted your not going to get any sleep tonight. I wish I had a plate of hot food to eat right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troofandroomaz Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Granted, but you eat it before it cools down, and blisters form in your throat, and you choke on puss...and die. I wish MW2 didn't exist, so i could exist...normally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Granted, but now you're stuck playing bubble bobble and you can't turn it off. I wish my work was more interesting than working on computers all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrorlicious Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 granted, but after the continual barrage on your morals and sexual senses that is a lifetime of being a balloon fetish porn film director you find yourself constantly confused and unable to get a stiffy. i wish i didn't have writers block anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernlights Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 Granted... But then u get your hands sawed off by a notorious gang of ninja midgets!!! I wish all women had three titties... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 granted........... but third titty secretes garlic like odour I wish a skid of old rusto would show up at my house Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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