Jump to content

ball surgery disappreciation thread


thismachinekills

Recommended Posts

This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.
  • Replies 68
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

All they did was put in an IV. Wheel me into surgery. Knock me out. I wake up a little bit later. Drink some apple juice. Throw it up from the knock out gas and go home. They gave me some Oxy's but I didnt even need them at all.

 

 

 

You seem to be leaving out the part where you have a scalpel induced gash and stitches on your fucking ballsack.

 

Plus you're a fucking ginger. Gingers are supposed to feel pain more than regular people.

That's actually a scientifically proven fact.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/07/30/redhead.pain.dentist/index.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1692342/

 

 

I'm calling shenanigans on you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was getting a vasectomy the doctor fucked up and nicked a blood vessel. I spent three weeks on the couch taking percocet and playing grand theft auto with a nutsack the size of a grapefruit. Had corrective surgery to remove the clotted blood.

 

I also had a staph infection on my ballsack about a year after and they had to lance it.

 

My balls have been though the ringer. Best of luck.

 

Good Times,

 

 

 

Why the FUCK would you get a fucking vasectomy???

Do you have 15 kids or some shit?

 

 

It's called pull the fuck out and aim for her face.

Or wear a fucking condom.

Or make her take a fucking pill.

Fucking christ...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How I could have forgotten this earlier I don't know, better late than never though. Here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph8kGPXOoUw

 

 

 

This was my favorite song in like 2nd grade.

 

Listening to this shit now it just occurred to me that this guy went from trying to sound like the dude from Motorhead to trying to sound like the dude Judas Priest in the same song. :biglaugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I HAD THIS DONE IN 2003.... prepare for lots and lots of bruising on your nut-sack and a fucked up itchy rash on the outside of it... You are going to get a nice incision on your lower abdomen, will take about 8 staples to close up, and you will lose feeling where the incision is for over a year... You will have problems shitting, pissing, farthing, laughing, coughing, getting up from a laid down position for about 1-2 weeks. They are going to give you good meds. Get it over with!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my mother works in a hospital on a ward where they do all sorts of male related ass and ball surgery.

she seems to think it's extremely funny to tell my dad brother and me about all these poor cunts gettin' their dicks chopped off because of infections.

the other day she told me about a boy who is around the same age as me who contracted the genital warts. which then turned cancerous, so he had to get a baked potato style cut on his jap's eye so the doctors could send a camera up there.

she laughed the whole way through the story. while the rest of us either held our nuts in pain or wretched at the thought...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dude my boys testicles twisted into a knot while we were playing baseball, and we had to take him to the hospital and promise him not to tell anyone what happened lol. We didnt untill a few months later. Shit was fucking hilarious. He was just like "guys..my balls..cant walk" I hope that never happens to me. Shit is called testicular torsion, i know there was an episode of the venture brothers on it. I think to fix it they basically snip open your sack and un-twist them. Fuckin shit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if it makes you feel any better, while i was in highschool, i was having asscrack surgery once a year at least for cysts.

 

yes. fucking asscrack surgery.

 

i imagine it's not as painful as ballsack surgery, but anytime you move your spine, you get this feeling like someone's holding a blowtorch on your asscrack. it's not pleasant. but at the end of it, you get many many many refills of very strong (not generic) painkillers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dude my boys testicles twisted into a knot while we were playing baseball, and we had to take him to the hospital and promise him not to tell anyone what happened lol. We didnt untill a few months later. Shit was fucking hilarious. He was just like "guys..my balls..cant walk" I hope that never happens to me. Shit is called testicular torsion, i know there was an episode of the venture brothers on it. I think to fix it they basically snip open your sack and un-twist them. Fuckin shit.

 

a couple boys got that when i was at school, apparently it's pretty common.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

asscrack surgery, smedium shirt wearing tpwfs with balls cut open, twisted balls, vasectomammies.. I feel like its bad karma but..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

my mother works in a hospital on a ward where they do all sorts of male related ass and ball surgery.

she seems to think it's extremely funny to tell my dad brother and me about all these poor cunts gettin' their dicks chopped off because of infections.

the other day she told me about a boy who is around the same age as me who contracted the genital warts. which then turned cancerous, so he had to get a baked potato style cut on his jap's eye so the doctors could send a camera up there.

she laughed the whole way through the story. while the rest of us either held our nuts in pain or wretched at the thought...

 

 

So your mom's a sadist with man issues.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

that sucks for you dude.hope your surgery gets well.ive had a couple of torsions before.its something like when (and i have no clue how it happens) your testicles get knotted up or something liek that.its real look it up.shit is mad painful.it lasted for about 4 hours too.i mean it literally hurt to breathe...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few months ago I had an infected cyst on my ball sack which grew to a decent size over a couple of days before anything could be done about it.

 

After having two old Irish doctors discuss my condition while touching my sack for a good 10minutes they decided to stab me in the nut with a needle and then slice open the cyst to let it bleed out. Needless to say this was uncomfortable BUT as they wouldnt give me painkillers I just got some off my bro and took a few days off work to watch dvds and think un sexy thoughts.

 

Also it smelt like dead animals around that general area for a week or so after.

 

Goodluck with your scrotum homie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...