KM4RT Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Today at work was particularly long and tiresome. I think I spent 16 hours in the office leveraging synergies, implementing holistic initiatives, increasing utilisation and maximising efficiency. By around 10am, and after a coffee or two, I decided I needed to visit the bathroom to relieve myself. Through both urination and sexual self gratification. Stress and looming deadlines mean I do this occasionally. Try it. I walked into the bathroom. The urinals were empty. I don't like urinals anyway, I prefer to piss into a bowl whilst in an enclosed, solitary environment. I also hate urinal conversations, and people that don't leave a spare urinal between themselves and you, even though they could. There are four stalls in the bathroom. The second one was occupied. What struck me about the situation was that the person inside was sitting sideways on toilet. I assumed this based on the position of his legs as I could see them (refer to diagram here). I continued into the end stall anyway. My thoughts about the blonde receptionist with an ass like Serena faded quickly (/no Kanye, but her ass is serious business though - I've been trying to get in on that, but story for another thread (no pics, sorry)). (Brackets are dope.) Obviously I couldn't masturbate my stress away now, so I just pissed. After finishing, I flushed and left the stall. Walking out, the guy in the other stall was still there. Still sitting sideways. I made a mental note of his shoes. At the time I thought I could track him down later. Maybe confront him? Or...I don't know. I spent the rest of the day looking at peoples shoes whenever I was away from my desk. No luck. Is there a reason for sitting sideways on a toilet - comfort, efficiency, medical? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Maybe they were doing something inappropriate, like jerkin off at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Last week somebody at my work took a shit on the floor and then walked through it. There were shitty foot prints all through the warehouse and the main boss man had to clean it up because everyone else was gone. Since then, everyone I look at that works nights at my place of employment...I always wonder if it was them that shit on the floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R@ndomH3ro Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 wow...jerking off at work...I really cant imagine that cause most of the place I have worked A - Smelled like stale piss and old farts B - The stalls were filled with dude that sounded like they were giving birth to the antichrist C- Had really questionable stains and other stuff on the toilet or stall walls. Not really a place to think of sexy thoughts, plus its kind of gross to wack off at work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I concur and admit to doing same. Not the sitting sideways part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I worked at a warehouse when I was younger that had a locking bathroom far away from the bathrooms that anyone actually used. There was a big chair in there with a coffee table that someone kept stocked with porno mags. When I first walked in I was thinking about it, but then the idea of sitting in a chair going at it to the same mags and in the same chair, as whoever was keeping that shit stocked kicked in and I called off the operation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILZ FILLZ Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I bet the sideways sitter was sleeping leaning on the paper dispenser I think the jacking off at work thread got lost in the meltdown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elorock Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Sitting sidewayz lost in a daze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cymatics Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 angry baboon door is watching you masturbate 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 my friend took a shit at a bar once, we were all sitting on stools. he decided to stand up move his to the right, pull his trousers down. then stand in a position with bent knees that would look to the barmaid like he was still sitting down. he took a fuckin' massive jobby on the floor. we left pretty soon afterwards. ...it stank 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 ^YOU SICK FUCKS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I took a shit on someones car before. Pretty epic. *in pouring rain too, with TP tucked into my hoodie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 My old roomate shit his pants at the bar. He then tried to use it as a pickup line, asking women if they "ever fucked a dude who just shit his pants". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 hahah carrying the TP just in case? another good one's lifting the lid off someones cistern and taking a shite in there. it'll stink like fuck knows what for a good while before they find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 The "Double Decker" Take the lid to the tank off and crap in the upper part of a toilet, then in the bowl, forcing the owner to flush in dismay, and in stench. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsmbfan Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 maybe he was stealing wifi, and got a better signal by facing that way? kevin mitnick style. or maybe he was writing a novel on the wall. deep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisetuxedo Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 my friends always used to shit in sinks uranals whatever, then one shit on a paper towel and threw it at a window, that was hilarious 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 once at my old job, someone took their own log of shit & wrote "free chocolate" on the wall glad i didnt have to clean that up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slept_on Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 ^^ Exactly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larabee Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 This fuckin dude used to wack off everyday at work mind you at a restaurant and have no problem tellin you about and say he couldn't take a shit with out getting completely naked ... It was a dirty ass bathroom too. I just didn't see the bathroom in the same light anymore after that.. Oh yeah the porno mags where hiding in the drop ceiling.. A lot of them, I was hoping that one day they would fall through on a customer. Hope you enjoyed your sandwich at lunch fuckers.... angry baboon door is watching you masturbate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 so he was sitting facing the glory hole? he was waiting for someone to insert. /nh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUNBUNBIGGY Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 he's probably preparing lines on the tp dispensor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnarwalker Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 piss on everything. piss on seat. good piss on flusher. good piss on paper towels. good. piss in sink. good piss on door handle.. trapped 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pornbooth Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 ^ya but its your own piss so its clean and sterile for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 You sick ass motherfuckers. Gah. WTF is wrong with you bastards? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pornbooth Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 The second one was occupied. What struck me about the situation was that the person inside was sitting sideways on toilet. maybe the toilet was far to one side and it was the only way to sit? = Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FruityLexia. Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Not as bad as people who pull there god damn pants down to there ankles at the urinal. No matter how many times i see it i end up unable to piss cause im in histeriks, making phone calls to my friends telling them about it. Come on people pull them pants up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonCheadle Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 splash guards are an excellent invention for urinals. When I was in college, I was suite mates with a football player who used an air freshener that smelled exactly like urinal cakes. Maybe they were urinal cakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pornbooth Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 this site it has some kind of funny bathroom stuff in it http://officepotty.com/?cat=7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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