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MAR

Bob Evans Had A Nice Sausage

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/NH

 

Bob Evans Had A Nice Sausage

A Free Times Reporter Reveals His Special Relationship With A (recently) Living Trademark

ChatterEvans.jpg

 

Colonel Sanders was a mean drunk. That's what Bob Evans told me long ago. And it's the first thing I think about whenever I stop off for some extra-crispy secret recipe at my local KFC. I've kept quiet about it since our meeting. But now that Bob Evans has merged with the infinite (he died last Thursday at age 89) I feel I can safely share his story without incurring the wrath of the gravy-loving farmer.

As a teen, I attended a student economics conference at the University of Rio Grande in Southern Ohio. Bob Evans' homestead was right around the corner and he was invited by the school to give a pep talk to us future entrepreneurs. I was seated behind some stooge with a big head in the large auditorium and kept craning my neck to see Bob Evans better. He noticed me and asked if I would like to come sit with him on stage. On stage with Bob Evans, himself? Hells yes!

Sitting next to Bob Evans as some college official read his bio, I took the opportunity to lean over and whisper, "I like your sausage." Which is something you typically don't want to whisper in some old man's ear.

"You know what makes it so good?" he said. "Everyone else puts the whole pig in their sausages. I just use the better parts."

"Thanks," I told him. And I meant it.

After the speech, we had some more time to talk and Bob Evans told me that before he got super rich and famous, he used to visit country diners with Colonel Sanders and Dave Thomas. They traveled around Southern Ohio, Kentucky and Western Pennsylvania, looking for - I swear I'm not making this up - recipes to yank.

"Colonel Sanders liked the waitresses and he liked to drink," said Bob Evans. "He'd pick fights with the biggest guy in the restaurant. Sometimes, Dave and I had to drag him out of those places. He wanted to fight everybody."

Whenever I feel down, I just think of Bob Evans and Dave Thomas leading a belligerent Colonel Sanders out of a country restaurant and it makes me smile. I'll miss you, Bob Evans. And your sausage. - James Renner

Colonel Sanders, Bob Evans, and Dave Thomas (Wendy's) used to kick it!?
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this is just a conspiracy theory that tries to prove that fast food has a strangehold on our economy.

 

boo. take your propganda somewhere else. crossfire for example.

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can you imagine the colonel throwing it down? I mean in that fancy bow tie?

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next time i need a pick me up, i'm gonna picture col. sanders smacking some waitress's ass and smashing a bottle of ketchup over the head of some burly line cook or other captain saveahoe

 

that shit's hilarious.

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next time i need a pick me up, i'm gonna picture col. sanders smacking some waitress's ass and smashing a bottle of ketchup over the head of some burly line cook or other captain saveahoe

 

that shit's hilarious.

 

Truth!

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art.beating.troy.cnn.jpg

 

Would you expect anything less from a guy like this? He's probably working on two brain cells.

 

...and I don't care how bad a situation gets, I've never got into it with anyone while their kids are around. I see a kid, I just shrugg it off.

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Yeah yeah yeah, big deal, Ronald McDonald and the Burger King used to roll blunts together in college, heard they teamed up with Mayor McCheese and ran a train on Birdie once.

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Colonel Sanders is a relative of mine, however i don't condone genetically modified chickens and unfortunately I don't have the pictures to prove it.

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