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Chubbs

Parental Leniency: How Far Is Not Enough?

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weather you spank, slap, punch or push yer kids into dicsiplin.

 

dont do that shit in public. not only are you humiliating your kid aswell as yourself, beleive it or not.

 

but aint nobody wanna hear or see that shit. no respect.

 

handle yer shit behind closed doors, that way department store shananagins aint happenin anyways.

 

i dont got no kids but if i ever do the last thing imma be doin in public with them is makin a fool out us both. kids gettin yanked the fuck out the store weather hes kickin, screamin or stabbin.

 

then he'll get his at home. NOT in public.

 

 

 

My mom would say "wait till we get home", and the fear of that ass whoopin would straighten me out quick.

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well basically for any kinda stepping out she would get hit, or even if her dad couldnt be bothered to deal with her, so that is more abusive than discipline so yea it is way down the other end of the scale.

 

But I still stand by the not hitting a child, OK if you resort to it because you can't control your child then that is up to you however for me I don't have a problem with telling off, taking away of luxuries like TV, DS seeing friends or being allowed toys. I think it is better than a child learns that by not behaving there are consequences. If you just hit a child they just learn not to get caught. You say hitting by a belt or something isn't serious to me that is serious. To hit a child with a belt, to me, is abuse.

 

Say my son is playing up I just have to tell him that if that behaviour continues I will take X or Y away and he won't have them for a week then he snaps straight back into line. It works for me, might not for other people. He knows he gets rewarded for good behaviour and if there is bad behaviour there are consequences. I find if he has been good I will say ok when payday comes you can have this, then between that time and payday I just say fine if you misbehave then you wont get the toy on payday.

 

He is a very good boy in general and I don't have problems with his behaviour at all.

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I Wsa beat all the damn time when I was coming up, and it never taught me to not do bad things...it taught me to not get caught doing bad things.

 

My family has never spanked my niece and she has never once thrown a tantrum in a store.

She also never really does anything bad or talks back, and on the rare chance she will..we sit her down and talk to her about what she is doing.

Making a little kid sit and talk things out for 15 minutes and be bored is worse punishment than spanking them.

 

On the other side of things, my niece has a cousin that is one week younger than she is...he gets spanked all the time.

He also acts like a little shithead and doesn't listen to anyone.

Does spanking him ever make him act better? Never.

He still does the same shit and still gets spanked over and over for doing the same thing.

 

 

 

Little girl never gets spanked because she doesn't act up.

Little boy would be 1000 times worse if he never got spanked.

 

And you were just born to be a fuck up.

 

Wait... I thought you said your moms was wheelchair bound and your pops was dead? How's she gonna catch you to give you a whoopin if she's in a wheelchair? I'm calling shenanigans.

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the way i see it decyferon theres nothing wrong with your way of parenting if it works.its just a differing in philosophy..i grew up in texas and my family is all from texas and mississippi and indiana so in those places its normal to hit kids.not beat them or anything but just everyonce in a while when they act up.its always been like that and will be lke that for trhe forseeable future imo.and it works down here.kids mind their parents down here.i think you just need to be proactive and tough.some do that by takig away shit others spank.when i was growing up i was very poor and didnt really have toys to take away.i played with sticks and shit and climbed trees so their wasnt much they could take away from me so in my cass yelling didnt work becuase i would just blow them off and continue to be a lil badass so my mom figured she just whip my ass.and it worked.she didnt hit me whenever just for the fuck of it she did it when i screwed up.granted she did go voer the line occasionally but i was a little badass so in hindsight it was probably justified.

 

 

my stance on the issue is raise your kids how ever you want to raise your kids.if your into disciplining with the belt or the switch then go for it but dont hurt them and if your into taking shit away then do it.unfortunatly for some of us like me the latter doesnt play out becuase i didnt have anything to take away in the first place lol.

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Some kids are just better behaved and dont fuck around. Some are just rotten to the core. Sometimes you can tell them to behave and they listen, other times they mock you and then their dad sprints down the sidewalk full speed and before I had a chance to turn around he had me by the back of the neck and was FUCKING DONEEEEEEEE.

 

Uhhh, I mean..

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You say hitting by a belt or something isn't serious to me that is serious. To hit a child with a belt, to me, is abuse.

 

Are you kidding me? I got hit with everything but the kitchen sink as a child. When I got older, I got hit with the sink too

 

I can't even IMAGINE what I would have been like as a kid if I wasn't scared of my parents fucking me up.

 

Also, if you don't hit your kids EVER how are they gunna learn to take a punch like a man? I pretty much can't be hit hard enough to knock me down because of the beatings my parents gave me...generation of soft ass fucking pussies getting raised these days.

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Like I said I fight with my son all the time, and believe me he is by no means gonna be a soft kid he has a hell of a punch on him and can take a lot when we fight, he is also gonna be starting martial arts as well (not that I give 2 shits about martial arts but my wife likes that shit)

 

There are other ways to raise a tough kid without beating them as punishment

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You say hitting by a belt or something isn't serious to me that is serious. To hit a child with a belt, to me, is abuse.

 

 

 

Are you serious?

The belt is probably the most common tool for spanking your kids here in the states.

That shit's an American staple. :lol:

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Also, if you don't hit your kids EVER how are they gunna learn to take a punch like a man? I pretty much can't be hit hard enough to knock me down because of the beatings my parents gave me...generation of soft ass fucking pussies getting raised these days.

 

 

 

Real talk.

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Like I said I fight with my son all the time, and believe me he is by no means gonna be a soft kid he has a hell of a punch on him and can take a lot when we fight,

 

 

 

 

LOLWUT?

 

Didn't you just get done arguing that you don't even hit your kid?

Now you're all out fistfighting with him? :confused:

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play fighting, man he is only 5 not like I am gonna be in a boxing ring with him!!!

 

most parents play fight with little kids. Kids love doing that shit, I don't hit him, we play. Jesus christ it is like some of you don't know what it is like to play around with your son.

 

a bit of rough n tumble playing is fine, it isn't giving a kid a smack with a belt because you don't have any other way of punishing them.

 

Aren't you a parent DAO? your telling me you don't play fight with your son (if it is a son you have)

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I can count the number of times my parents have hit me on one hand. They also gave me next to no restrictions, only times they'd really flip was me getting into it with cops.

 

I graduated high school cum laude, did the college thing. You don't have to hit your kids to teach them "not to fuck up" or make them "turn out right" and I don't plan to be hitting mine.

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Mine took the door off the hinges...

 

 

i had this happen to me haha.. i finally got it back after i got extremely sick one winter, and my mom made my dad give it back to me lol

 

 

in general, some kids need as ass whooping when they fuck up. i've been there, done that, and grown the fuck up. if i have a child that act like some of the little hellish twats i see, he's catching a backhand for sure.

 

i caught a yellow pages book to the face before.. that really isn't that fun lol

 

i see kids who's parents never discipline their child - as in being a good parent and putting their foot down..not necessarily physically hurting them - and they're complete fuck ups. kids need a beating once in a while when the deserve it.. not some "oh johhny, please stop that, you're being rude" type shit. fuck that noise

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o maannn my parents trip at the fact that im "going crazy" it kind of funny because all i realy do is smoke weed and draw on stuff but watever 18 is right around the corner=DDD

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I skipped pages two and three, so if anything productive happened there then I am not in the know.

 

The title of the thread is parental leniency, not to hit or not to hit.

 

I am a strict parent and I have not nor will I ever hit my child. My kid knows the rules when he is with me and he follows them without question.

 

I think that some corporal punishment is okay if it is in the correct cultural setting.

 

I also think that it is not the severity of the action but the feeling behind it that is the crucial difference. If you spank a child with your heart and mind in a proper place of discipline it is one thing. If you have anger when you do it then it is abuse regardless.

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I got ass whoopins when i was a kid, and i deserved it.

 

I think there's a difference in peoples mind when they associate ass whoopins with straight out beating your kid, I would never beat my kid, but i'll whoop his ass if need be.

 

I turned out pretty okay, work for myself, help out the community when im not fucking it up, love and respect my mother unconditionally.

 

My brother never got his ass whooped, he's 17, 1 kid already, not working, being a fuck up.

 

2 cents

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Every child is different. It's hard to figure what will work and won't. And with some kids you're just screwed to the genetics part.

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it all depends on the kid in question honestly. Some kids don't respong to getting spanked, some do. My ex would smack my kids with anything he had handy, including my metal belts. I decided "fuck spanking" when I left my ex, and that shit was horrible. I tried everything, from talking to them, to positive re-enforcement...fuck that. My daughter started having HORRIBLE tantrums, enough to where she could have actually hurt herself had they went on. I had almost got them to stop, met my husband, and after I finally moved in with him, her tantrums came back tenfold. Like, she broke her solid oak bed, and it wasn't no walmart bed, it was actual, solid wood, and she broke one of the posts almost in two, kicking it, barefoot (little girl is scarily strong sometimes). My husband refused to spank her, and it got to the point where she was fine if I was home, but if I was at work, she was throwing a tantrum at some point during the day. Finally, knowing I was working, he called my mom, and asked her what to do. She said "learn to use a belt." After spanking her two times, she stopped. He had to spank her maybe 3 times after that, and now she's a fucking angel for him. Spanking has it's place.

 

I also know this chick that has never spanked her kid whatsoever, his punishment is a light slap on the hand (which makes the 4 year old giggle). I've seen him bite her, run away from her (ive seen him almost get hit by a car), he's thrown his food around in public, absolutely refuse to do anything she says. I fucking hate that kid.

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hope i don't get nega-propped out of existance for jumping in but here goes.....

 

i think consistancy is totally the key when parenting kids. we don't hit but we started rules and a stern tone as soon as our girls got old enough to understand. started time-outs and got on the same page as my husband about not talking to her while in time-out and using them consistantly and they work. any disipline is a bitch to implement and the longer you wait the harder YOU are going to have to work. but we have been consistant and haven't had to spank.

 

i have a friend staying in our basement until she finds a place and her daughter comes over 3 of 7 days a week and that kid is rotten. both her kids are rotten. my friend thinks yelling (she doesn't even yell, she raises her tone) is mean..... when she tries to get serious with her kids she is usually smiling. after her son begrudgingly came upstairs to take a shower and told her "i am not very happy about this, i didn't even get to watch blahblahblah....." she just laughed. i looked at him and told him not to ever talk to his mother like that and she looked shocked that it bothered me. we don't spank, but unfortunately, thanks to my mom, i have an instinctual mouth-slap for scenarios like this built in from conditioning i believe. i am not okay with other people parenting my kids, but she doesn't mind at all. she has actually encouraged me to in the past.

 

my mom was a shitty parent as they go but she taught us to respect your elders, even if you are bull shitting them, and you find out as a kid that that will get you pretty far.

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