**CityonSMASH** Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 The nasty part is that when he sat on my head, my ear was pointing up and basically became his toilet seat. He let out a leather ripping fart, and with his sphincter being so close to my ear (n/h) it vibrated my eardrum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metronome Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 It's weird that dogs and cats sometimes don't seem fazed by them at all. I thought that they had super keen senses of smell, so wouldn't that increase the dooky scent? They say hello to each by sniffing each others asshole, I really don't think it bothers them when you fart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**CityonSMASH** Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 isnt that how you people in edmonton say hello too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chopsticks Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I'm all about farting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubbs Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I grabbed the dog and farted right on her face wat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 It's not that hard to comprehend. After my dog had been crop dusting us for 4 hours straight, I walked over, put my butt to her face, and farted. It's called revenge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexDiamonds Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 i farted right now I'm eating beef stroganoff, and I just farted too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 my dog would be laying down, and fart, turn to smell its ass, get up and leave the room. couldnt even stand himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Try to hold one in while you're getting a blow job! Or don't! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 My brother farted in my ear when I was 9. He had gone to see Judas Priest the night before, and spent the whole night eating funyons and drinking cheap bear. I was watching Saturday morning cartoons, laying on the couch, and he snuck up behind me and sat on my head. The nasty part is that when he sat on my head, my ear was pointing up and basically became his toilet seat. He let out a leather ripping fart, and with his sphincter being so close to my ear (n/h) it vibrated my eardrum. It was the most disturbing sound, and the feeling of butt air pushing up against the side of my face was brutal. But the smell! After the second or two the fart took, my brother stood up in hysterics. I laid there shocked with a "what the fuck" face, and that's when the smell hit me. It made me gag, jump up, and run to the kitchen. I ran to my mother screaming and complaining, and she looked at me with confusion, then started laughing. That's pretty much the story of my life growing up in the house of Broclo. Ha-ha-ha-haa! Hell bent for leather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 *toot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I never said I was cool. Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Or don't! Don't fuck around fool, things could get scary... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SQUIRREL Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 the term "right off the turd" never gets old to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slept_on Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 the best is being in a cramped ass space full of strangers, letting a filthy smelling quiet one go, and watching everyone try to figure out who did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tavaruawon Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 I pulled one of these off right when I woke up this morning. She didn't like it much and punched me in the ballsack. It hurt, so she made breakfast. I also like to fart right when I'm about to get off of the BART train. Doors close and that bitch is sealed up. DEATH ENSUES. Yeah I'm that guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Break '92 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 My brother farted in my ear when I was 9. He had gone to see Judas Priest the night before, and spent the whole night eating funyons and drinking cheap bear. I was watching Saturday morning cartoons, laying on the couch, and he snuck up behind me and sat on my head. The nasty part is that when he sat on my head, my ear was pointing up and basically became his toilet seat. He let out a leather ripping fart, and with his sphincter being so close to my ear (n/h) it vibrated my eardrum. It was the most disturbing sound, and the feeling of butt air pushing up against the side of my face was brutal. But the smell! After the second or two the fart took, my brother stood up in hysterics. I laid there shocked with a "what the fuck" face, and that's when the smell hit me. It made me gag, jump up, and run to the kitchen. I ran to my mother screaming and complaining, and she looked at me with confusion, then started laughing. That's pretty much the story of my life growing up in the house of Broclo. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedoe Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 funyuns Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeaaaah baby Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 hahah well put earl. onetime back in the day i was giving my brother the "brown eye" (where you fart in the face whilst mooning. my mom walked into the room right as i did it, saw everything, then we made eye contact mere milliseconds after the fart was done, and gave me one of the most disappointed looks ive ever seen. it was awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slept_on Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 the only thing that could have been worse about the ear fart story would have been if the cheap beer had caused him to shart into your ear canal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toiletseat Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 silent ninja farts in crowded places are the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CELT Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I was known as the " Phantom Farter " at the airport for years . Usually after fueling an airplane , I'd have to take the paperwork and give it to the crew . A lot of times there is a crew change , and I'd leave the fuel slip in the cockpit with a " bonus " . If you've seen the cockpit of an airplane then you know how confined of a space it is , and I'd close the door to seal it in . I've pulled my fuel truck away before and seen the First Officer gasp and open their side window before , and had a United crew ask Ops if the fueler or a Cabin Cleaning crew farted in the plane . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metronome Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Farting over the radio is popular on night shift where I work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 funyuns Thanks. It's not a word I use on a daily basis, so when I typed it I wasn't sure if I spelled it right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delonemonkey Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 silent ninja farts in crowded places are the best. This. One time i laid the meanest silent one on the packed F train in the morning. Everyone smelled that shit people were like come on now and shit. Take that you assholes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I hate people like you! The F train already smells bad enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolf Harris Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 My girlfriend started nipping my head about farting yesterday. i have a good chuckle to myself when i let out a good fart. so i let two go and start laughing, she starts pissing herself too. then tells me it's too early in the relationship for me to be farting infront of her. is there a point in time in a relationship where it's acceptable to fart infront of your partner?!?!?! and i caught an ex of mine catch a fart into a shoe, then smell it laughing... i dunno if she knew i was watching or not... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screambloodygore Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 if you don't think farts are funny you need to check your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 and i caught an ex of mine catch a fart into a shoe, then smell it laughing... :huh2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slept_on Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 the realness is just giving her a dutch oven...if she sticks around you know shes down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tavaruawon Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 and i caught an ex of mine catch a fart into a shoe, then smell it laughing...i dunno if she knew i was watching or not... That's fucking rich dude! :lol: She sounds like a keeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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