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morton

everyday life tips and tricks

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Costco and Sam's club has free samples everyday. I haven't been in Sam's club in years, but for Costco you can walk in and stroll around without a membership card. You can do this a few ways:

 

Tell the person at the entrance you're going to the pharmacy.

  • Reason: Membership card is optional to purchase drugs.

 

Tell the person at the exit you're going to get a hotdog/restroom

  • Reason: Membership card is not needed to buy noms or use the restroom.

 

If you chose the latter, you can simply get onto the main floor by walking between registers. Have monies? You can get a Polish/regular hotdog and a refillable fountain drink for a $1.50 (before tax).

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I go a couple times a year, there are lots of attractive young, Thai girls working there and as soon as my time is up one of them will go in the back and out comes an elderly woman who takes care of my shit.

Wait, so the elderly women gives you the happy ending and not the fly young girl?

 

:scrambled:

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Always keep it real with somebody. Someone specifically neutral to your life, awesome listening coworker.

 

A woman for female issues and an older man for life issues.

 

 

These people will give you advice strictly on what you're telling them & what they know about you, exclusively for your benefit. They could give fuck all for these other people in your situation because they want to see you win whatever outcome.

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^ allthewrongwords saying all the right words...

 

Anyway, you will die, and not that many people will give a fuck. so make those people who do feel special in your life-the drunk me

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Drink more water.

 

"water heals everything"

 

 

 

Our bodies are made up of approximately 75 - 80% water.

 

Blood is 83% water

Brain is 74% water

Muscles are 75% water

Bone is 22% water

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"water heals everything"

 

 

 

Our bodies are made up of approximately 75 - 80% water.

 

Blood is 83% water

Brain is 74% water

Muscles are 75% water

Bone is 22% water

 

"that means your just far from drowing"

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"water heals everything"

 

 

 

Our bodies are made up of approximately 75 - 80% water.

 

Blood is 83% water

Brain is 74% water

Muscles are 75% water

Bone is 22% water

 

Water is 78% water.

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smuggle drugs/guns/people in rush hour traffic

 

or during a downpour of rain.

 

cops too busy.

 

that is all.

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when disposing of a body, first drain the blood by hanging it upside down over a bathub and slicing the throat, then decapitate.

cut off hands, feet, legs and arms separately leaving behind torso only.

bury hands, feet, legs and arms in remote locations approximately 200 miles apart from each other.

place head into 12 Molar sulfuric acid for approximately 26 hours.

crush and grind skull and teeth to fine powder.

burn torso and bury the ashes approximately 400 miles away.

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Law 1

 

Never Outshine the Master

 

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

 

Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,

Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

 

Law 46

Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

 

 

 

48 Laws of Power

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