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everyday life tips and tricks


morton

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when your sitting on an auto flush toilet, take a 10 inch strip of TP and cover the sensor so you dont get any unexpected flushes.

 

miss the spicy chicken crunchwrap supreme at tacobell? warn the workers if they dont get your order perfect youl call the manager, and tell em to stick chicken inside one, get half a serving of "guacamole" sauce and mix it up with half a serving of lava sauce (if you do a full serving of both its too much sauce, and if they dont mix it up the sauce flavors wont be distributed evenly) and stick that bitch in there.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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If your girl doesn't want to fuck as much as you do keep this around. start by massaging her feet

With it then massage her back without it and explain that if she takes off all her clothes you will

Give her a full body rub down and do so for about thirty minutes. Then gently finger her or rub down her clit boom works like a charm every fucking time plus everyone likes a good massage

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  • 2 weeks later...

I posted this elsewhere a few months ago meaning to post it here....better late than never, I guess-

 

Bacon Lantern AKA DIY Tiki Torch

 

Clean and dry an old tin can (think beans, not beer) and cut the top off. Then get a piece of corrugated cardboard and roll it up till it's about the same diameter as the inside of the can. Stuff it on in there and cut it flush with the top.

 

Once that's assembled, take some bacon grease and heat it up till it's liquid again. Pour it in the center of the cardboard-stuffed can, but don't overfill it. You can use it right away or wait till the grease cools. It takes a minute to get started, but once it does it will burn well for hours.

 

I don't have a working camera with me right now, so imagine a can stuffed with oily cardboard with a flame on top and you'll be pretty close.

 

Postscript #1- You don't have to use bacon grease...any fat or oil that solidifies as it cools will work fine. Corrugated cardboard is necessary, however.

 

Postscript #2- I have a camera now, but no lantern. So it goes.

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