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everyday life tips and tricks


morton

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When gambling on a pokie machine, it is better not to urinate in the coin collection before collecting winnings.

 

Cheap wine means heinous hangover.

 

Dont pull on girls hair during sex when they have extensions in, as funny as it is.

 

Never pay for public transports.

 

Never wipe your ass with a long sleeve shirt on, somtimes this turns bad, roll them up.

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--don't get into stealing everything you need

, it gets to the point you realize everything

in this world is FREE...

 

--don't shit where you sleep

 

--don't trust a pretty face, she is still cutthroat!

 

--wear a condom always

 

--if you fuck on the first night, never wife that whore

 

--save money, but know that life is short, and you can't take it with you

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human feces can actually be frozen after being in the toilet.

not only can some of the frozen turds become extremely sharp at the end where your sphincter cuts off the poo, but it is also a double whammy for any unfortunate intruder in your house:

stabbed with a turd.

insta-infection.

 

 

 

or insterted into the vagina of freaky womans

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Girls are hard to understand, As men, we have trouble figuring them out.

Read between the lines.

 

For instance, when you're fucking, if a girl says she wants you to eat her pussy,

It means she wants you to lick it, put down the knife and fork before it's too late.

 

Or say your on the first date, things are going really well and you're back at your place.

If she says "I'll do anything you want want me to" don't give her all your dirty clothes and some quarters for the laundry.

Save that for the second or third date at least. Trust me on this one.

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gasoline takes paint off your hands

if you get paint on glass a straight razor blade will take it off

always go to walmart before you hit the grocery store

never go to court without a lawyer

dont say shit to the police without a lawyer

avoid the police all together

dont trust any female that isnt your mom

pay down your high interest credit cards

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Guest JohnLester#31

In order to get a job you want, you have to market yourself to that employer by showing why you are worthy for that position.

 

As simple as that, and it worked for me.

 

 

[/url]

 

life changing.

 

Mind blowing.

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Break up with your girl if she says "I want to feel you cum inside me", when shes not on the pill, or you're just simply not ready for that.

 

I would say to break it off with any female that is not down with having an abortion should birth control fail and to always use birth control.

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