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everyday life tips and tricks


morton

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Cartons instead of packs.

 

Cheapest booze is at rite aid.

 

Do not use sarcasm with children under eight, they will not understand it.

 

Lemons or limes in the garbage disposal help control odor.

 

If you go to Mexico keep in mind that there is a deposit on the bottles when you buy beer, return the bottles.

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On this note, only buy enough food for two weeks. Like 94% of people over buy food and waste a lot of shit. This will keep your wallet fat!

 

2 weeks even is a bit much, especially if you don't really fuck with frozen food...

i usually buy for dinner and the next day's breakfast and lunch

we always have leftovers anyways so it lasts a couple of days.

nothing worse than a fridge full of rotting veggies, yo

 

cartons instead of packs, fuck yeah!

i just got back from north carolina and i got a freezer full of them shits.

it is a beautiful sight, especially when cigarettes here cost $10 a pack.

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Can't get a screw to take into a pilot-hole with a phillips-head screw-driver? Get a bar of soap (the shit we used before shower gel), coat the screw by twisting it on the soap bar. That fucker should slide right in.

 

 

 

Oh and playing imaginary tug of war w/ your friend on one side of the street (you on the other side), and your "rope" will make almost any motorist come to a fuckin' halt. (strain and pull like you both actually have a "rope") Many hours of free fun is provided. Thank my uncle for that one.

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When you drink box wine keep a bottle around and fill the bottle, that way you can keep track of how much wine you have been consuming by the bottle instead of trying to guess how many glasses you have had.

 

Always eat before drinking.

 

Learn to use a compass.

 

Do some math every once in a while its good for ya.

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put magnolia blossoms in your bath.

or a bath that you draw for your bitch.

it leaves the skin dewy and smooth and smelling delicious..

 

Can i draw you a bath?? :D

 

 

fold drier sheets into your clothes to keep them smelling fresh.

 

^^THIS :)

 

yesterday's stale bread is today's french toast for real.

 

TRUTH :D

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Use a credit card to accumulate equity but pay the balance in full every month.

 

Dont ever buy a brand new car

 

Dont get overpriced crab dishes at restaurants its not real crab

 

put a used fabric softener on your swiffer or broom to get all the dust bunnies before you sweep

 

every time you go to Starbucks or conglomerates like this steal the toilet paper from the cabinet in the bathroom

 

wear condoms unless your with a steady lady whos been tested.

 

test every couple of months, that shit is guaranteed to be free somewhere around you

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A friend of mine was working the lot at phish tour and got pulled in North Carolina. The officer took him and some other heads for a ride to show them the jail he would send em to if they stayed in town. On the ride he said that if they smoke to light up and that the tobacco industry built the jail they would go to if they did not beat it.

 

Off topic I know but I figure since beardo is quoting north carolina I could throw it in.

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As a detailer, i always get asked this...

 

"how do i get these black scuff marks off the paint of the car?"

 

my response:

"Lacquer thinner my friend. never use paint thinner!!!! USE LACQUER THINNER!"

 

lacquer thinner will remove most marks on a car, for example, on a white car you might get these fine dark lines around the keyhole. or you might have accidently traded paint with another car in the parking lot. put some lacquer thinner on a microfiber towel (cottom towels are sometimes too abrasive and might leave really fine lines in the paint) and then rub it in a circular motion till the fine lines go away. then with a damp towel just go over the area to remove the lacquer thinner. if you leave it on, it might fade your paint, especially on cars that aint white.

 

and also make sure you do it when the car is cool to the touch. not on a hot sunny day. prefably in the morning, or the evening when the car is cool

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freeze coke in an ice cube tray

drink coke with said ice made from frozen coke

 

teach children from an early age that pigs/system are not to be trusted (but it doesnt have to mean that a life of crime is the only answer)

 

dont smoke cigarettes (easier said)

 

instead of bringing a bag with a few giant ass buckets of paint to a spot, funnel it into multiple 2L bottles for ergonimic purposes

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If something hurts, go to the doctor...its only going to get worse

 

 

Half the time I walk around feeling like I'm about to pass some kidney stones, and I have a bruise going down my spine (I have no idea why it's there, I've never hurt my back or anything) and it's been there for about a year now, I should probably go to the doctors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:)

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No.1 - never let no one know how much dough you hold.

No.2 - never let em know your next move.

No.3 - never trust nobody.

No.4 - never get high on your own supply.

No.5 - never sell no crack where you rest at.

No.6 - that god damn credit, dead it.

No.7 - keep your family and business completely separated.

No.8 - never keep no weight on you.

No.9 - if you aint gettin bags stay the fuck from police.

No.10 - consignment.

 

 

THUG LIFE

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