morton Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 Cartons instead of packs. Cheapest booze is at rite aid. Do not use sarcasm with children under eight, they will not understand it. Lemons or limes in the garbage disposal help control odor. If you go to Mexico keep in mind that there is a deposit on the bottles when you buy beer, return the bottles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zebradrips Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 On this note, only buy enough food for two weeks. Like 94% of people over buy food and waste a lot of shit. This will keep your wallet fat! 2 weeks even is a bit much, especially if you don't really fuck with frozen food... i usually buy for dinner and the next day's breakfast and lunch we always have leftovers anyways so it lasts a couple of days. nothing worse than a fridge full of rotting veggies, yo cartons instead of packs, fuck yeah! i just got back from north carolina and i got a freezer full of them shits. it is a beautiful sight, especially when cigarettes here cost $10 a pack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 I do this daily. i thought everyone did :lol: You'd be surprised, I've got neighbors in my building who pay for garbage bags that barely fit in the shoot without wrestling it in there. Their kitchen always stinks like garbage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screambloodygore Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 don't pick your nose on a bumpy road. don't shit where you sleep. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM4Q3JEoHTc never buy fish that smells fishy, that shit is old. ask to smell it before you buy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedoe Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 go to school, wear condoms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewind Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Can't get a screw to take into a pilot-hole with a phillips-head screw-driver? Get a bar of soap (the shit we used before shower gel), coat the screw by twisting it on the soap bar. That fucker should slide right in. Oh and playing imaginary tug of war w/ your friend on one side of the street (you on the other side), and your "rope" will make almost any motorist come to a fuckin' halt. (strain and pull like you both actually have a "rope") Many hours of free fun is provided. Thank my uncle for that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 When you drink box wine keep a bottle around and fill the bottle, that way you can keep track of how much wine you have been consuming by the bottle instead of trying to guess how many glasses you have had. Always eat before drinking. Learn to use a compass. Do some math every once in a while its good for ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smacky636 Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 put magnolia blossoms in your bath. or a bath that you draw for your bitch. it leaves the skin dewy and smooth and smelling delicious.. Can i draw you a bath?? :D fold drier sheets into your clothes to keep them smelling fresh. ^^THIS :) yesterday's stale bread is today's french toast for real. TRUTH :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustofills Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Don't smoke weed out of anything metal, roll that shit up or just use glass and ceramic. Argeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Don't jerk off too much. Never make assumptions based on yesterday's occurrences. Don't shit where you sleep. Just because you have money doesn't mean you need to spend it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 The golden rule does not apply to some people. Set up a fake identity for your child when they are young because you never know and it is not getting any easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KITTENS Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Use a credit card to accumulate equity but pay the balance in full every month. Dont ever buy a brand new car Dont get overpriced crab dishes at restaurants its not real crab put a used fabric softener on your swiffer or broom to get all the dust bunnies before you sweep every time you go to Starbucks or conglomerates like this steal the toilet paper from the cabinet in the bathroom wear condoms unless your with a steady lady whos been tested. test every couple of months, that shit is guaranteed to be free somewhere around you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beardo Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 cartons instead of packs, fuck yeah! i just got back from north carolina and i got a freezer full of them shits. it is a beautiful sight, especially when cigarettes here cost $10 a pack. don't start smoking. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 A friend of mine was working the lot at phish tour and got pulled in North Carolina. The officer took him and some other heads for a ride to show them the jail he would send em to if they stayed in town. On the ride he said that if they smoke to light up and that the tobacco industry built the jail they would go to if they did not beat it. Off topic I know but I figure since beardo is quoting north carolina I could throw it in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 This has probably been done before but what the heck. Post up tips and tricks for everyday life. When frying eggs try putting a little bit of water in the pan and poach to finish rather than flipping. NO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zebradrips Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 also, dawgs, when i don't finish my coffee in the morning, i put it in the fridge and voila--presweetened ice coffee when i get home from work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImChristeezy Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 dont ever lie once a cheater always a cheater. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 so like, you wanna touch it or what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KITTENS Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 don't start smoking. :) x1000000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Big Pants Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Don't let your unwanted rice go down the drain, I can't tell you how many pipes I've seen clogged with rice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted September 13, 2009 Author Share Posted September 13, 2009 Bake your bacon instead of frying it. When you go to court or on a plane take a man bag so you do not need to mess with emptying your pockets. Get a pocket knife and one of those little LED lights for your keychain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Vergudo Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 As a detailer, i always get asked this... "how do i get these black scuff marks off the paint of the car?" my response: "Lacquer thinner my friend. never use paint thinner!!!! USE LACQUER THINNER!" lacquer thinner will remove most marks on a car, for example, on a white car you might get these fine dark lines around the keyhole. or you might have accidently traded paint with another car in the parking lot. put some lacquer thinner on a microfiber towel (cottom towels are sometimes too abrasive and might leave really fine lines in the paint) and then rub it in a circular motion till the fine lines go away. then with a damp towel just go over the area to remove the lacquer thinner. if you leave it on, it might fade your paint, especially on cars that aint white. and also make sure you do it when the car is cool to the touch. not on a hot sunny day. prefably in the morning, or the evening when the car is cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 freeze coke in an ice cube tray drink coke with said ice made from frozen coke teach children from an early age that pigs/system are not to be trusted (but it doesnt have to mean that a life of crime is the only answer) dont smoke cigarettes (easier said) instead of bringing a bag with a few giant ass buckets of paint to a spot, funnel it into multiple 2L bottles for ergonimic purposes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rice eyes Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 If something hurts, go to the doctor...its only going to get worse Half the time I walk around feeling like I'm about to pass some kidney stones, and I have a bruise going down my spine (I have no idea why it's there, I've never hurt my back or anything) and it's been there for about a year now, I should probably go to the doctors :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rice eyes Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Do what makes you happy Don't shit where you sleep (or something like that) Learn to draw rap letters before you go out and paint them, will save you the embarrasement in the long run Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Break '92 Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Don't ever make plans for ahead of time with a girl you just met and THEN have sex with her. Keep a fire proof safe in your house. Always assume any snake or spider you encounter is poisonous. Always assume every gun you handle is live and loaded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 "Here's a tip: put a pinch of sage in your boots, and all day long a spicy scent is your reward." -Martin Prince 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larabee Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 Don't eat yellow snow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famecrazy Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 No.1 - never let no one know how much dough you hold. No.2 - never let em know your next move. No.3 - never trust nobody. No.4 - never get high on your own supply. No.5 - never sell no crack where you rest at. No.6 - that god damn credit, dead it. No.7 - keep your family and business completely separated. No.8 - never keep no weight on you. No.9 - if you aint gettin bags stay the fuck from police. No.10 - consignment. THUG LIFE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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