fat ralphy Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 once my brother was actually busting a nut.....right as my step pops walked into his room. i got caught up before...everyone has, if you havent your lying or you aint doing it right. young bucks jerk off like 5 times a day and shit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 When I was 17, I was doing the naked Olympics with my girlfriend when my brother came home. He drove an I-Roc Z, so we heard him driving up. We both jumped up with a panic on our face, and I made her get in the closet. I then ran down the hall and jumped in the shower. I did the whole "wet your hair and make it look like you showered" thing, then came out trying to play it cool. He ate a sandwich, then went back to work. She stayed in the closet the whole time. When she finally came out she hit me and walked out crying. Good times. Earl you just reminded of a fucked up story... So I banging this girl back in Jr. High I think it was.. We were in the shower about to get out and I hear the front door open and I tell the girl to get to the back of the shower and stay there... The shower was big enough for like six people. So anyways I stick my head out and it's my pops... So we talk about why I'm ditching and shit and he says he'll take me to school.. So I tell girl to leave after we do.. Yeah fucking bitch panicked and didn't leave. My dad got back and found her.. Then took her to school... Hahah.. I was outside(cutting class again) and BAM, there is my dad's van(yes a van) and my girl getting out.. Fucking talk about awkward.. Then he fucking tells my mom about what happened.. That was a fun talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RALPH LAUREN Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 wow, u got layed in junior high? wtf i been doin with my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jus[T]DoMe! Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Acquiring currency. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Don't forget the Downwind! I don't think you would be able to "smell them coming" if you were about to 'come' yourself. :lol: But nice use of a Commando situation and propped accordingly haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x5v1s Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 did someone post the god kills a kitten flick? we need a 'god turns your lil sis into a predator' flick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 this thread made me laugh. then quickly made me sad. realizing i dont even masturbate anymore. fuck what happened 2 me. say what?! i get laid a lot and i still, ahem, flick the bean (a new term i learned recently.. and yes, you're welcome) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dontemptme Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 haaa...flick the bean.. i actually heard today on family guy... "shooting off knuckle children" i lul'd. /coolstorybruh1er Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 i used to tell one of my ex's i was gunna flick her bean..........at awkaward times like family dinners etc....shit was hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonsai Bill Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 wow this is almost as bad as the "i jerk off at work" thread but after i saw that thread i knew the people on this site were crazy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexDiamonds Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skywalker Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 so how awkward was dinner that evening Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watson Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tavaruawon Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 wow this is almost as bad as the "i jerk off at work" thread but after i saw that thread i knew the people on this site were crazy It's a win win situation. You've got to realize that you're getting paid to masturbate. Shitting while at work is also a good way to kill time, and get paid for doing so. TALK ABOUT 'MILKING THE CLOCK' HAHAHAH ROFLROFLROFLZ... :lol: Someone can *fix ^ that. If they so chose. nh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CityonSMASH** Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 im disgusted with myself for not opening this thread earlier. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CityonSMASH** Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 today my little sister waslked in on me wacking off. im so fucking embaressed whyd you let her leave? HAH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jus[T]DoMe! Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 UNNNNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMdoubleXL Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 ^visual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne hits Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 UPDATE: i answered the phone today and one of my sisters friends just started laughing her head off at me. so shes told at least one person besides my mom, who reminded me to lock the door. she wouldn't look at me while she talked to me. when it hurt to pee the diagnoses was that i was drinking to much and had a possible prostate problem. i havent gotten it further checked out. every day i cringe in embaressment since then. as far as props go, im on this site once every 5 months or so, so i could care less . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLU Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GXN3YUh2aI&feature=related ^^^very worthwhile link^^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 i actually heard today on family guy... "shooting off knuckle children" We used to call it "knuckle fucking." We'd also use it as a noun though. "Man, Jim hasn't left his house in 3 days. That dude is a total knuckle fucker." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark_Knight Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Take notes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVqn1k8xFY8 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Ha-ha! You never make eye contact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustofills Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 The one time I got cought jerking off was by one of my ex girlfiends about 10 years ago. I was sick of sticking her so got back in to wacking it to interent porn. But anyhow. She walks in and there I am cock in hand. lol I just looked at her and said. What? Im a male after all. She just looked at me with disgust. I laughed and went back at it. lol She left the room and i think called her mom. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustofills Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 My 300th post was about jerking off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 It's a win win situation. You've got to realize that you're getting paid to masturbate. Shitting while at work is also a good way to kill time, and get paid for doing so. TALK ABOUT 'MILKING THE CLOCK' HAHAHAH ROFLROFLROFLZ... :lol: Someone can *fix ^ that. If they so chose. nh. I worked as a lifeguard and i spend the majority of my time taking dumps. It was at this yacht club with a nice bathroom/locker room. Good way to spend my day. I jerked it in there once. ehh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 hope it wasnt like this... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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