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earl broclo ESQ

So I've got house sitters this weekend.

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My girl and I are going out of town for a few days, and we have friends house sitting for us. They're helping us out, so we don't have to board our dog. They're good people and really good friends of my girlfriend, so it's helping us out a shitload.

 

Now I'm all about pulling pranks on people, so I figured I'd turn to you guys for some laughs.

 

Any ideas on stupid shit I should pull? I probably won't, but thought this might develop something funny at least.

 

 

 

Harvey, if you're reading this, let's get together tomorrow. I have to wait around for one of the house sitters, so I can give him a rundown on the dog's schedule and behavior. Plus we need to associate the dog with him so she's comfortable. It's kind of like waiting for the cable guy or weed man.

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I got a good one

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hire a prostitute and kill her

leave her in the house

laughs all around

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I dunno. If you had some obscure shit to place conveniently around, like books on black magic or cannibalistic recipes or something?

You know how some people hang shit in their house that have inspirational sayings, usually done in calligraphy? you can do some that say morbid things like despair, hatred, bloodlust, etc, but still done in cheerful colours and nice calligraphy.

 

I got nothing.

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swat em, lsd in the orange juice, or how about be thankful that you do not have to kenel your dog and do nothing.

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leave a dildo in the kitchen.. and keep one of the rooms locked and say with a straight,frightened face, "Just dont go in that room".

 

you can get a cheap chairs (Possibly free ones) and cut it 3/4 of the way through the leg and they should break it by the time you get back. tell them they are old and have been in the family for a while

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leave a fake suicide letter in one of the main drawers they would open.

 

rename one of your movies as a fake gay porn on your computer.

 

hide all the toilet paper in the house.

 

let the milk spoil.

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1251608916305.jpg

 

and leave shemale pronz in the dvd player

 

 

 

 

 

 

**EDIT: Framed (& autographed) picture of DAO on mantle.

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Are you nuts? They're going to have control over your house and your dog, don't fuck with them. If you have to do SOMETHING, put red food dye in the toilet tank right before you leave. That will give them a good scare, but it might make your toilet red for a while.

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Leave a box of videos labeled "Chicks with Dicks" blatantly in the open next to your dvd player, and tell your house sitters feel free to watch any tv or movies they want to.

 

Replace the room where they will be sleeping (if they are sleeping at your place) lights with a good black light, and either snap some glow stick tubes in half or get some washable glow in the dark substance and write Red Rum on at least one wall, or a giant pentacle.

 

Replace every picture in your house with pictures of them.

 

Piss in your toilet water tanks before you leave, so when they flush the bowl's water gets replaced with more urine.

 

Leave a dark secluded closet slightly open and have a extension cord running to it with a shop light turned on in it. Then replace all of the inside objects with candles and a picture of a goat.

 

Put a bunch of pictures of yourself in the bathroom.

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i'll house sit for you in november.

i'm nice and i love dogs.

 

Yeah, it should be real easy to convince my girlfriend to let you stay.

 

Conversation would go like this:

 

"Hey, I've got this person from 12oz who can watch the house."

 

"What?"

 

"Yeah, her name is Milk Grenades and she likes dogs."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Nah, don't worry, she's really cool. I'm myspace friends with her too."

 

"You need to quit smoking so much pot and find a job!"

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah --I don't think that will work out, but we should wander to a few bars.

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