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So I've got house sitters this weekend.


earl broclo ESQ

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My girl and I are going out of town for a few days, and we have friends house sitting for us. They're helping us out, so we don't have to board our dog. They're good people and really good friends of my girlfriend, so it's helping us out a shitload.

 

Now I'm all about pulling pranks on people, so I figured I'd turn to you guys for some laughs.

 

Any ideas on stupid shit I should pull? I probably won't, but thought this might develop something funny at least.

 

 

 

Harvey, if you're reading this, let's get together tomorrow. I have to wait around for one of the house sitters, so I can give him a rundown on the dog's schedule and behavior. Plus we need to associate the dog with him so she's comfortable. It's kind of like waiting for the cable guy or weed man.

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I dunno. If you had some obscure shit to place conveniently around, like books on black magic or cannibalistic recipes or something?

You know how some people hang shit in their house that have inspirational sayings, usually done in calligraphy? you can do some that say morbid things like despair, hatred, bloodlust, etc, but still done in cheerful colours and nice calligraphy.

 

I got nothing.

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leave a dildo in the kitchen.. and keep one of the rooms locked and say with a straight,frightened face, "Just dont go in that room".

 

you can get a cheap chairs (Possibly free ones) and cut it 3/4 of the way through the leg and they should break it by the time you get back. tell them they are old and have been in the family for a while

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Are you nuts? They're going to have control over your house and your dog, don't fuck with them. If you have to do SOMETHING, put red food dye in the toilet tank right before you leave. That will give them a good scare, but it might make your toilet red for a while.

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Leave a box of videos labeled "Chicks with Dicks" blatantly in the open next to your dvd player, and tell your house sitters feel free to watch any tv or movies they want to.

 

Replace the room where they will be sleeping (if they are sleeping at your place) lights with a good black light, and either snap some glow stick tubes in half or get some washable glow in the dark substance and write Red Rum on at least one wall, or a giant pentacle.

 

Replace every picture in your house with pictures of them.

 

Piss in your toilet water tanks before you leave, so when they flush the bowl's water gets replaced with more urine.

 

Leave a dark secluded closet slightly open and have a extension cord running to it with a shop light turned on in it. Then replace all of the inside objects with candles and a picture of a goat.

 

Put a bunch of pictures of yourself in the bathroom.

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i'll house sit for you in november.

i'm nice and i love dogs.

 

Yeah, it should be real easy to convince my girlfriend to let you stay.

 

Conversation would go like this:

 

"Hey, I've got this person from 12oz who can watch the house."

 

"What?"

 

"Yeah, her name is Milk Grenades and she likes dogs."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Nah, don't worry, she's really cool. I'm myspace friends with her too."

 

"You need to quit smoking so much pot and find a job!"

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah --I don't think that will work out, but we should wander to a few bars.

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Plaster your ceiling with hardcore porn magazine pages. Easily done and no harm to anyone.

 

one of my friends did that the first time he moved out of the house. except it was just in his room.

 

when we asked him why, he said because he could. this was during his bukkake fascination, so it appeared to be normal behavior at the time.

 

he grew out of it. but now he rides a fixed gear. :huh:

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Set up a hidden camera, then anonymously email them a clip of them having sex on your bed while your out of town.

Guaranteed they will fuck on your bed, the only question is on top of the blankets with a towel, or inside the sheets making a massive wet spot.

There is only 2 ways to find out, wet spot still wet, or setting up the camera.

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