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The Apostrophe catastrophe

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'Punctuation hero' branded a vandal for painting apostrophes on street signs

 

 

After enduring sloppy punctuation on the street sign outside his home for more than a year, Stefan Gatward could stand it no longer.

The 62-year-old former soldier decided to launch a one-man crusade against 'dumbed down' Britain, and picked up a paintbrush to insert a missing apostrophe.

This turned the incorrect St Johns Close into the correct St John's Close

 

 

But he was immediately accused of being a vandal by one neighbour, and his amendments have been scratched off by others who apparently prefer the wrong version.

The 62-year-old's defence of the apostrophe comes after Birmingham council announced it would scrap the punctuation from council signs for the sake of 'simplicity'.

Mr Gatward moved into his flat in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, 14 months ago.

 

 

He said today: 'As we are off St John's Road and opposite St John's Church, both with the apostrophe, St John's Close should have one too.'

But when Mr Gatward decided to correct the crime against the language by painting in the missing punctuation mark, he was jeered by a neighbour.

 

 

'He told me I was wrong. He called me a vandal and a graffiti artist,' Mr Gatward said.

 

 

'He tried to tell me that the Post Office would not deliver to the street if you put in an apostrophe.'

 

 

Mr Gatward, who served for four years in the Gordon Highlanders in the 1960s, is not just a campaigner for the apostrophe.

 

 

He will not join the 'five items or less' queue at the supermarket, in protest that the sign should read 'five items or fewer'.

 

 

 

He also gets annoyed when people-neglect the 'Royal' in 'Royal Tunbridge Wells', and was vexed when he saw a major chain store advertising sales with signs saying 'until stocks last' rather than 'while stocks last'.

 

 

'I fought for the preservation of our heritage and our language but some people seem happy to let that go. I'm not,' he said.

 

 

'I feel very strongly about the English language. These days people write in text-speak and nobody knows how to use the apostrophe.'

 

 

He added: 'I'm not going to go round with a can of paint and change everything - it would be a full-time job.'

 

 

A spokesman for Tunbridge Wells council said that the builders of Mr Gatward's estate were responsible for erecting the signs, and the council is responsible only for maintaining them.

 

 

However, developer Linden Homes said any fault rested with the council. 'The sign was approved by the council, that's our position on it,' said a spokesman.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link here:

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1207301/Punctuation-hero-branded-vandal-inserting-apostrophes-street-signs.html

 

 

 

 



 

 

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That is awesome, I love these kinds of people!

 

Imagine the fit he'd throw if he tried using an internet forum!

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That is awesome, I love these kinds of people!

 

Imagine the fit he'd throw if he tried using an internet forum!

 

 

"Internet" should be capitalized.

 

:p

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Because that is how important Internets is. That is how far, how long, how wide, this river we call Internets is. That far.

 

 

Amazing.

 

 

 

Gaze upon it, but not for too long. Internets sheer beauty is too much for mere mortal eyes.

 

 

 

vcuctj.jpg

Just look at that shit. <deep breath in> hold it.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hold it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hold it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

<exhale>

 

Ahhhhhhh, Internets.

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Like being born again, only with less pussy and mucous.

 

 

 

 

Living in a polluted shithole, I can actually gain real pleasure out of looking at a simple picture like that.

 

 

 

....and I'd also bet a beer that there really are cameras in my home.

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I looked at the picture, I thought of fast moving, clean but icy water. I thought of soil, dark, moist earthy soul. I though of holding river bed sand, pebbly, sandy with a few little flecks of driftwood flotsam and jetsam in my hand that is becoming wrinkly from being in the water. I thought of air, air you cannot taste or see. If you can see it IT'S NOT FUCKING AIR, YOU IDIOTS!!!

 

I live on the 24th floor, right now I can only see for about 900 meters. But I can hear car horns, lots of car horns.

 

Honey quick, lock up the sharps....!!

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The apostrophy may still be up for grabs. I spotted this gem while out on an errand today:

 

WHITES DINER

 

leftOn the other side of the building, the painter had apparently given up, as it just said:/left

 

WHITES DINER

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Internet is only capitalized depending on the context. Christo's use looks like it doesn't need to be capitalized ("an internet" as opposed to "the Internet").

 

But yeah I don't see why Britain removes apostrophes for "simplicity". How the hell is an apostrophe in a word difficult or confusing? It'll just promote bad grammar amongst the chilrins.

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Like being born again, only with less pussy and mucous.

 

 

 

Actually I'm pretty sure the internet has way more pussy and mucous, sometimes in the same picture, than anyone's birth ever did.

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The apostrophy may still be up for grabs. I spotted this gem while out on an errand today:

 

WHITES DINER

 

leftOn the other side of the building, the painter had apparently given up, as it just said:/left

 

WHITES DINER

 

 

Wheatpaste "NIGGER" over WHITES and watch hilarity ensue?

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Employee's must wash hands.

 

Fucking irks me. 6 out of 10 bathrooms I'm in. I've been known to correct a grammatical error or two in public. The plural possessive too...don't get me started.

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