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Bottom 50 Childrens Books for 2002

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My personal favorites are 14, 25, and 50. Which ones do you want?


Children's Books

1. Charlie and the Third World Nike Factory

2. Harry Potter and the Little Actor Who'll Grow up to Become a Bitter Coked-up Has-been

3. The Littlest Anarchist's Cookbook

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Soup for the Soul

5. All God's Creatures Are Emotionally Unavailable

6. Clifford the Big Red Dog Has a Heart Attack Because He's a Freak of Nature

7. Ali Baba and the 1,000 Arab Stereotypes

8. Babar, the Ivory Coat Rack

9. Beauty and the Yeast Infection

10. The Boy Scouts' Queer Bludgeoning Handbook

11. Kermit the Frog and the Hot Skillet of Foaming Butter

12. Charlotte's Web of Lies & Deceit

13. Where the Evildoers Are - by George W. Bush

14. Shel Silverstein's Silly Poems about Anal Sex

15. No One Really Loves Fat Girls - by Judy Blume

16. Dr. Seuss's The Grinch Who Was Slightly Apathetic about Presidents' Day

17. The Little Train Who Couldn't, But it's Okay Because it Happens to every Train Once in a While

18. Little Red in Da Hood

19. Pus in Boots

20. John Wayne Gacey, the Silly Clown Who Murders Children Who Don't Listen to Mommy

21. Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Menstruation

22. Jack & the Gnarly-ass Bean Burrito

23. Snow White and the Seven Intoxicated Mexicans

24. Mary Had a Little Rash

25. Sleeping Ugly-Ass Ho Knocked out on Roofies

26. Peter Panhandler Drowns in his own Urine

27. A Weed Grows in Brooklyn

28. Alice's Adventures in Caesar's Palace Hotel & Casino

29. Hansel and Gretel and Hansel's "Special Friend" Sven

30. The Hungry, Hungry Sorority Anorexic

31. Danny and the Rabid Flesh-Eating Dinosaur

32. Dick and Jane Spread a Paste Made from Poisonous Plants on Raw Steaks Cut from the Family Cat, Eat said Steaks/Paste, and Vomit for a Week

33. Harriet the Stalker

34. The Dumpster Divin' Kids

35. Larry the Leper Needs a Hand

36. Stillborn Sammy's Day at the Park

37. Wash Your Hands or Die of Anthrax

38. Ninety-Nine Horny Blue Men in Tight White Pants: Smurfette's Confessions

39. Winnie, the Bear Made of Human Feces

40. The Birds & the Bees & the Donkey Punch

41. The Pre-school of Dr. Moreau

42. The Indian-Giving Tree

43. The Anthropomorphized Sock that Was Burned Alive in the Sink because it Talks! It Talks!

44. Uncle Bongo's Lap is Sticky

45. Your Brother is Black Because God Wanted You to Be Special

46. The Adventures of Grandma Crazy Diapers!

47. The Rubber Ducky is Watching You

48. Are You There God? It's Me, Hitler

49. Richard Scarry's Busiest Mortician Ever

50. Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Dismembered Hustler

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