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crimetime

Baby Mama Drama

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Anyone on here pay child support? I got a package in the mail yesterday from a law office, my ex who i still live with, went and started the process for me to pay child support. The fucked up thing is I pay half of everything right now (rent, food, clothes, toys, whatever). Just wondering if i really am having to shell out money when in reality i am paying child support, just not officially i guess. I guess i need a lawyer. Any advice is appreciated from those who have been through something like this. Oh yea and i have both my girls on my heath insurance for work, is that shit factored in to what I'm supposed to pay a month? I feel like dumping all the loot i got on some Herbert Holdapenny ass lawyer and dragging this bitch through the mud!

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It all depends on your state,go to court and ask a clerk its free,only get a layer if you have no other choice after doing research and talking to your ex,she might be slow,slick or trying to play you. Ohhh yeah FIRST!

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reciepts, reciepts, reciepts. that bitch aint got nothing if you got the proof of what you spent loot on for the children.

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Any money given in excess of the support order does not count. You can owe back support but you can never be credited for over payment. Get a order as soon as possible. Paying court ordered child support is often less per month than what a dude will pay via verbal arrangement.

 

Any checks you give her prior to the order being written write "for child support month of xxxx" in the for box so she can not say the money was for some other reason.

 

Good job having your kids insured on your account, you will receive a credit for that.

 

Contact your local bar association and find out about free clinics if you can not afford a lawyer.

 

Do not fall into the mental trap of thinking that the more money you give her the more you are helping your kids. Save that money and do good for your kids with it.

 

Do you have a parenting plan/ custody schedule? I can not stress how important it is to protect your rights to have time with your kids. Even if you do not want to now that may change.

 

Do not think that if things are going on okay now that they will stay that way. Situations change and you need to anticipate that.

 

It is hard being a dad in the court system and you will need to fight to have the most basic rights.

 

Angeldust is wrong payment outside of court ordered don't mean shit legally just a nice thing for you to do.

 

Stay Strong and keep your head up.

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Try to google your state or county name and the words "child support calculator" if you can find a online one put out by the court that is a good place to start as far as a ballpark number of what you will be expected to pay. Here is one for WA, fill in the blanks and it comes up with a number.

 

http://www.courts.wa.gov/ssgen/

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Check http://www.avvo.com/ for some basic answers. Check local laws and get as organized as possible if you are not already.

 

I repeat to not get caught up in some "it's good for my kids if I give their mom money" trip. You can do as much good for your kids with your money as she can. If you want to be good to your kids control the money.

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Depending on the complexity of your case and the amount of conflict involved you may not need to hire a lawyer. Keep in mind they are not cheep and the amount you save on child support might be offset by the cost.

 

Sometimes they are worth it and sometimes not. I just re-read your post and noticed that she is lawyered up, this makes a difference as now you are out gunned.

 

I would not hire a attorney that does not offer a free consultation before hand and would meet with more than one before choosing. Find someone who you feel comfortable with.

 

Family law is not a very technical type of law like some others. This is obvious but do not hire a lawyer who does not specialize in family law.

 

As you might be able to tell I have been through this, feel free to pm me or whatever if you like.

 

Now I am going to blow some money buying my kid some fireworks because I think that blowing some shit up is part of a happy childhood.

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if you had kicked her in stomach from the start..you wouldnt be dealing with any of this....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a more serious note, hard proof of your spending is always a plus.

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Sounds like dude cares about his kids a bit so I don't know if that was ever a real option.

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Morton, a thousands thanks already, this shit has my head real heavy. The ex has a lawyer, the papers she sent i mostly agree with, here was my biggest gripe. She states that i need to pay 28% of my income, and have to keep the girls on my insurance. The way i was reading local law was that i would get that percentage dropped a bit since i am paying for their health care, the state is IL and I'm going to spend some time checking those links you provided. She's not trying to fuck me on seeing the kids which is a good thing, shit i have my masters in developmental psych, she knows I'm a good dad and seems to have acknowledged that by presenting joint custody to me. It's more a matter of the finacials at this stage. Again thanks for the info.

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Hard proof of spending does not really mean much. Voluntary Overpayment is just that, it does not count in the eyes of the state. Something that repeats like insurance is different. I would not throw em away or anything but a box of receipts can only serve to show the court you are a good guy not have any real effect on things. Same with checks if they do not say for child support on them the other party can say they were for something else and they will not be given any weight.

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I do not know the law there. Most states take the incomes of the parents and come up with a base amount of support for the child, then they take the percentage difference of income and come up with how much each parent pays.

 

That 28% number sounds like a alimony amount rather that child support to me but states can be very different from one to another.

 

Resolve the issue of the custody schedule as soon as possible. In my eyes having the ability to raise your kids in a real way is more important than money, however if your are broke from overpaying your ex then it can be hard to be the best dad you can be.

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The schedule that is laid out in the paperwork is cool with me, I got that 28% number off the states child support web site so it seems correct. A big problem i have is the fact that we are both living under the same roof and splitting everything until December when the lease is up but this bitch is trying to get this money now. It doesn't seem right to have to pay for support when I'm really supporting the kids financially right now. I'm going to try and find a lawyer to pin this shit down.

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Well being cool with the schedule is a major victory for you. Living with her sounds like dicey waters to me but that is your choice. If it were me I would work on building boundaries that serve the interest of all parties and breaking a lease would not stop me from moving forward with my life.

 

Lots of things about child support are not really right or correct in my opinion.

 

In some ways it sounds like your case is not that bad all things considered.

 

You may want to find a attorney who will provide un-bundled services is cost is a concern. What un-bundled means is that they only do some of the work while you do others. There are good arguments for both bundled and un-bundled and cost is the major one for un-bundled.

 

By the way the reputation lawyers have as being money sucking scum bags is well earned, fuck those guys. Definition of a necessary evil right there.

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The internet is a difficult resource in this area as it is hard to get past all the adverts for lawyers some of which front like a non profit type of site. There are however some good resources when you find them. Look at the documents that have been submitted and search for them and you should find a resource somewhere that tells you how to fill them out and where to get copies on the web.

 

One thing that you will have to think about is day care expense and weather to have that lumped in the support amount or paid separately directly to the provider. Both have benefits and you need to think about this kind of thing. Also tax credit and who claims it.

 

Run the numbers and think about it. Child support is a repeating expense that will be with you for a long time. I would not worry so much about the now till December part but focus on the now until your kids graduate from college part.

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i dont know if any has said this but child supoort is also based on time with the childern. fight to get joint legal and joint physical custody where u both have them equal time. hense lilttle to no child support. i have 2 kids that i take care of full time and one that i pay on from my younger years 12 yr of child support and baby mama drama.

 

also make sure u are good in other ways of your life. shit like that can hurt or help u

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I travel for work so that kinda screws with having joint physical, anyone know if i sign these bs papers she sent me does that lock me into this shit for good or can things be modified as circumstances change, like i stop traveling for work and want joint custody or pay grade changes or whatever?

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It is very difficult to change things after they have been ordered and affirmed by a court. If parties are on good terms they can sometimes write shit into the the schedule conditionally. I would say in general that if you agree to it and it is then ordered by the court that any change will be difficult.

 

Be careful to what you agree to.

 

In WA first you get a temporary order that lasts for a year and then a permanent order. It is nice to have the year with a plan so you can sit with it and see what works for you and what doesn't before you get locked in.

 

Contact an attorney before you sign anything. It is not like you have to retain them to get your questions answered if they view you as a prospective client.

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^ Not the worst idea in the world if pulled off correctly. Can be tricky though and I get the idea that is not going to be possible in this case.

 

In fact if she is already represented by counsel I highly doubt that it would be possible to get legal custody using that technique and it does not sound like that is what crimetime is looking for anyway.

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