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jugzer

person above me should be banned because..

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Casek should be banned along with me cus we're too treal for 12oz in 2009.

 

 

word. we both smoke wet. one drives 20, the other 90.

 

one is swervin', the other is pervin'.

 

one picks up hookers, the other be pickin' boogers.

 

one gives shockers, the other gets shoved in lockers.

 

1992!!!!!!!

 

 

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fuck it, i'm about to jack this thread.

 

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jack-nicholson-1.jpg

 

apple%20jacks%2015oz.jpg

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Because he's that same color that The Rock is, so I can't tell what he is.

 

 

Damn it....I knew someone would jump in under Jugzer/NH

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A Lot of Naughty Stuff

 

Abraham and his wife Sarah lived near the city of Sodom. Abraham had a nephew called Lot, who actually lived in Sodom along with his wife and two lovely daughters. Unfortunately, Sodom was an awful place and everyone who lived there was really, really, wicked. The Lord was disgusted to see men letting other men put their penises inside their bottoms. I mean, that’s not what bottoms are for at all! So God was really mad at the people of Sodom, and He decided to kill them all along with the people of another city called Gomorrah. But, God knew that Abraham’s nephew was a righteous man so He sent two angels to get Lot and his family out of Sodom before He destroyed it…

 

Once the angels had taken Lot and his family out of Sodom, and they were far enough away, God rained down burning sulfur on the two cities destroying them completely and killing all the rotten poofters that lived there. The angels had told Lot and his family to keep running and not look back, but Lot’s stupid wife turned around to see what was going on and she was turned into a pillar of salt.

 

"Typical!" Lot thought to himself. "She's so nosey."

 

Lot_daughters_1.jpg

 

Lot and his two daughters fled to the mountains where they found a nice little cave to live in. But there were no men around for the girls to marry, and they started to worry that they might never be able to have children. In fact, as far as they could see, the only man around was their father.

 

So the older of the sisters said to the younger one, “let’s get Dad drunk and have sex with him so we can have children. "

 

“How do you know he’ll go along with it?” said the younger one?

 

“Oh he won’t even know,” the older sister replied. “We’ll get him so blind-stinking drunk, that he’ll pass out and then he won’t remember a thing the next day.”

 

“Won’t his…em…thing be useless then?” the younger girl asked puzzled.

 

“You can still make it work,” the older girl told her. “It just takes much more effort.

 

Lot_daughters_2.jpg

 

So that night the girls kept plying their father with wine. For a while Lot was having a great time enjoying the unusual amount of attention from his daughters, but he didn't realize how much he was drinking. Later on, he started singing away about the good old days, and the girls could tell he was good and sozzled. A couple of drinks after that, Lot's legs became very rubbery and he keeled over and hit the floor totally blootered. The girls poked him but, there was no response. Lot was completely unconscious. Now it was time to get to work.

 

The girls first took his clothes off then the oldest one bent down and took hold of her father’s penis. It was like a big fat noodle. This was not going to be easy.

 

Lot_daughters_3.jpg

 

She worked at it for quite a while, and all the time, her father was still unconscious. It was a bit of a tough customer, but finally the penis started to get hard. She knew she had to get herself aroused somehow too, so as to allow for penetration.

 

Eventually she got it fully erect, so she climbed on and started having intercourse with her father.

 

Lot_daughters_4.jpg

 

Lot was right out of it so his daughter had to ride him for a long time. Eventually, though, her father came inside her, and so she pulled herself off triumphantly and went to sleep.

 

The next day Lot was in a terrible state. He woke the girls up with his moaning. The oldest girl said, rather sheepishly, “How’ya feelin’ there, Dad? You don’t look so good,” to which he replied, “What the hell happened last night.” With that she knew the secret was safe. All morning he kept saying, “never again…never again.” But that was only one girl pregnant. They youngest girl still had to have her turn.

 

Lot_daughters_5.jpg

 

So that night, the girls brought out the wine and the glasses and poured themselves a drink. When Lot saw the wine he almost vomited, and turned to walk away. But the oldest girl caught him by the arm and said, “Have a drink with us, Dad. C'mon, it’ll be fun.”

 

Lot had sworn that morning that he’d never drink again, but then he’d said that before. The youngest girl, put a glass up to his mouth and said, “C’mon Dad…for me?” He had no idea what she really meant.

 

So that night the girls got their father absolutely smashed once again and Lot eventually passed out, as he usually did. And so, after learning from her sister, the younger girl worked her father’s penis till she got it hard enough to get it inside her.

 

Lot_daughters_6.jpg

 

Then she moved smartly up and down the shaft trying to get him more excited. It took a long time because Lot was no spring chicken, and that together with the fact that he’d just done it the night before and he was unconscious at the moment, made this a difficult task. Eventually, though, he did cum inside her and she got off and went to sleep.

 

The next day Lot was in an even worse state than the morning before. His head was absolutely killing him, and he felt terribly nauseous. He covered his face with his hands and mumbled, “never again…never again.” Plus, he couldn’t figure out why his penis was almost raw and hurt like heck.

 

So both girls got pregnant and each had a baby boy. One boy was named Moab and the other was named Benami. They both turned out to be quite famous in their own right. Little Moab became the father of the Moabites, and cute little Benami became the father of the Ammonites.

 

Lot_daughters_7.jpg

 

Unfortunately both nations turned out to be really awful and they were often at war with Israel. The Moabites and Ammonites were all wicked, immoral people who kept worshiping the wrong god. Mind you, it’s hardly surprising that they turned out to be terrible people when you consider that they came from such a disgusting and perverted beginning.

 

END

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