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Custody Trial


morton

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I already cashed out my 401k on lawyers and I do not think they did any better than I would have done on my own. There has been a parenting evaluation performed by the family services branch of the court that recognized many of the problems of the mother but not all.

 

One of the many bummers of the case is that the mother comes from money and has one of the better lawyers in the state.

 

 

I've only read the first few posts of this, but it sounds like you're in a fucking legal pickle. If she's got money backing a solid defense against you, you're screwed if you can't get solid legal aid. What I'd recommend, is building a case against her, before you get the team and head for court. If she is bat shit crazy, you need to spotlight everything you can with solid evidence. Emails, video, photos, witnesses, etc. You need to bring some heavy hitter bullshit to the plate, not just an email saying "i hate you!"

 

I have a close friend who went through this. At first, he was just fighting to stay in his daughter's life. He had all sorts of money from inheritance, wrapped up in stocks, and he had to use a huge chunk of it to get his lawyer. The first battle was getting the mother to stay within a certain radius until his daughter was 18. On top of that he had to fight for visiting rights.

 

Now the mother, I will stand up in court and say, Is bat shit fucking crazy. She's ignorant, immature, and foolish. Since my buddy WON his visiting rights she has gotten remarried and had two other children with that father. Over the next 7+ years, my buddy documented phone calls, emails, letters, etc, and built a case against her. The needle that broke the back, was when she sent his daughter emails saying "I hate you, I wish you were never born." That was a response to her trying to call her mother at work. The mom was taking a longer lunch then she's given, and got caught. So three emails were sent to the daughter, and it escalated in two hours, ending with an email that just said "I hate you, I wish you were never born."

 

So let's just say my boy collected all this evidence, built a case, and now has custody of his daughter, and she spends weekends at her mom's.

 

 

So yeah, before you start dumping money on lawyers, build a case. It might be a little tough to sit there and wait, but if you can collect enough incriminating evidence that she is unfit for your daughter (or that your daughter is safer with you), you'll be much better off.

 

Also --you better look in your own closet to see what her team can throw at you. Do you still live a young and rowdy life? You might want to chill the fuck out if you do. How's your job? Your income? Your place of living? Your credit? You need to look at yourself right now, and if you think you need to make changes, you should start ASAP. If she does have a good legal team, and you're attacking her character, they'll probably counter by attacking your's.

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I have spent the past 2 years building a case. The funny thing is that she is her own worse enemy and has put forward documents to the court that clearly show she is fucked up more than I could. For example "Sure I may have been threatening and stalking, but its not like I was using bombs or something like that"

 

DAO posited that I was putting my info "on blast" and I think that may be a valid point. Other than the judge and court I have tried to keep things pretty non specific. I do not want to expose myself too much here if it looks like I am someone give me a heads up.

 

Thanks

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I would suggest fighting as hard as you can, and fight dirty. You may not want to fuck with your kids mom like that, but if it is in the best interest of the kid, do it. If you want partial custody, fight for full custody.

 

I told my kids mom I would pick her up before court, and didn't. I also told her I'd remind her of the court date, another lie. I made sure court was far away from her home, even though she could have insisted the court was in her home county (which I lied about also.) Even when I was granted full custody, it wasn't over.

 

It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but when it comes to your children, you do whatever it takes. Maintain your cool in court, and pray mom doesn't. Good luck, you're in for a rough one.

 

Props

 

 

 

I'm picking up tips

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The best tip in here has been to document. Some of the best advice I could give a unmarried or divorced father is to set up a custody arrangement pronto and not rely on verbal agreements between parties. As a father you have to fight to even be recognized as a real parent.

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We do not meet up, there is a restraining order barring her from coming in within 500 feet of me. I taped a bunch of phone messages a long time ago but would need to have them transcribed to use them much. I will remember to bring the cassette recorder to trial now that you mention it though.

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VEE, did your case go all the way to trial? In my county only 5% of cases go all the way to trial most are settled before then. When the other party has a attorney it is unlikely that they will not show to court.

I do not plan on using an attorney. I have dropped around 10k on lawyers already and have not been impressed with what they have been able to do. The simple fact of the matter is that I know my case better than anyone. I am not well written but I am well spoken and can keep my cool in a court room.

As fucked up as my situation is to qualify for pro bono things need to be really far gone. For example there have been threats of murder in my case, to get pro bono rep there pretty much needs to have been a attempt, and not only that but one that was documented and backed up with police reports etc...

 

We went to court, she didn't show. You may be able to settle things in "mediation", if you haven't been through that. I payed two lawyers and wasn't impressed by either one, but in California thet have a family affairs office that will make sure your paperwork is filled out correctly. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

 

Also, once again, KEEP COOL. Make it early to each appointment and court date. My case was thrown out twice, both times I fought to get it reinstated and eventually won. Even though I was fighting a felony case in the same building at the same time. It's very difficult for the father to get custody, but it happens.

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I used to work in this area.

Basically the most important thing that the judges will be looking at is education, activities of basic living (aka education) and that kind of thing. You need a job that will support the kids (off welfare). You need a clean history.

And be able to cry. I shit you not, the crying gets sympathy. 80% swaying.

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I already cashed out my 401k on lawyers and I do not think they did any better than I would have done on my own. There has been a parenting evaluation performed by the family services branch of the court that recognized many of the problems of the mother but not all.

 

One of the many bummers of the case is that the mother comes from money and has one of the better lawyers in the state.

 

Private detective.

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So I pulled the funds and am going to retain an attorney now. Going to talk to him today. This is going to be interesting ambushing opposing counsel who thinks they are going to throw dirty legal tricks at a man with no lawyer.

 

Wish I did not have to borrow the money to do it but here I go.

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  • 4 weeks later...

So trial is set for next week and I just got the witness list and proposed trial schedule from opposing counsel. They want to drag this thing out for over a week and have all kinds of off the wall witnesses who have never met me or my kid. This pisses me off so much, A day of trial costs over two thousand dollars just for me, double that and you have the total cost.

 

So fucking stressful.

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