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8 types of people to watch out for before you throw your next party


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#<0. The crew of wiggas or wanna-bes that mysteriously showed up.

midwestmilitia.jpg

 

 

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: In your kitchen drinking one 40 each, while one of them is casing your joint and pocketing everything that is not nailed down. Who invited them? No one ever knows. Sometimes all white kids, sometimes ethnically diverse, but their clothes are three sizes too big and they are wearing down jackets in June. They usually are 3-7 years younger than the average age of everyone else at the party. They try to spit game to every female in the party until they are shot down by every last one and convene in the kitchen corner. They'll spend the rest of the night arguing over the last few Newports and asking strangers if they got any weed - cuz they got a blunt, yo.

 

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: Half of your shit will be boosted, from everything in your medicine cabinet, to knick-knacks with no value from your kitchen drawers. Why the fuck did they steal your can opener & shaving cream? Because they can. Once they run out of the 40’s one of their older brothers bought for them, they’ll boost whatever booze they can and bounce, to go linger at a bus top with a sharpie for their mad rap letters.

 

 

 

 

You sound like a homo.

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99. the wasted sleazebag

 

where you can find him: lurking around any and every unaccompanied female, addressing their cleavage instead of their face, showing off his sweet tribals.

 

why he will ruin your party: nobody likes a shady dude who tries to creep up from behind and rub his boner on you while you're dancing until one of your girls has to come up and dance you over to the other side of the party. if he doesn't inadvertently start a fight by playing grabass with somebody's girl, he will scare away the eligibles until you're left standing in a trim-free environment.

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lets not forget the guy whos pissed off at his girlfriend, screaming in front of your house. This guy doesnt get mad until its late as shit and every one in your area is asleep/ready to call the pigs.. also another fav is the juice head italian guy , spiked hair 6 collars, pearly white k swiss sneakers, hes always someones cousin talks about the jersey shore or some shit hole hamptons beach club..also gotta give a shout out to the neighbor who doesnt fit in, he makes everyone uncomfortable, dresses like hes 46 but hes 26.. hes a teacher or a plumber and usually ends up as a combination of #'s 1-9 as the night goes on.

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man I hate it when people try and freestyle to me at parties more than anyone... Especially since I'm a semi known local dj/producer all these grommit ass kids /thugs try and spit their dope rhymes hoping I throw then a beat. I had to make a "no freestyle" rule several years back

 

 

 

Now If someone tries to even spit a 2 bar punchline I tell em pause and get back to me with a CD

 

 

 

That way I can go home, laugh at their terrible CD, and be done with it

 

 

 

 

 

I call these people "furious freestylers"

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This thread is making me feel a lot better about myself.

I've fought with girlfriends at parties.... but it's mostly because I'm "not paying enough attention to them".

 

That being said:

 

PICT0033.jpg

 

The bitchy girlfriend who is acting like a bitch because she doesn't know anybody at the party and is scared of your friends....

 

Really? I've gone to your wack parties with your retard art school friends who suck at everything and have been content to smoke cigarettes, drink, and draw by myself. Or I'll try to find something to interest me while you're "enjoying yourself". I don't complain. Maybe you shouldn't complain when I bring you to an actual party with more than 10 people just because a lot of my friends happen to be there and I'm walking around talking to everyone. Take a cab home if you're so miserable. Don't keep asking me why I'm not talking to you. Maybe if you had something to say besides "I don't think your friends like me....." I would be talking to you. Maybe my friends would like you too. Maybe you should go get that cab now.....

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man I hate it when people try and freestyle to me at parties more than anyone... Especially since I'm a semi known local dj/producer all these grommit ass kids /thugs try and spit their dope rhymes hoping I throw then a beat. I had to make a "no freestyle" rule several years back

 

 

 

Now If someone tries to even spit a 2 bar punchline I tell em pause and get back to me with a CD

 

 

 

That way I can go home, laugh at their terrible CD, and be done with it

 

 

 

 

 

I call these people "furious freestylers"

 

"Naw my shit is real nigga, I keeps it street...play some beat tracks nigga, these people don't want to hear your shit, they wanna hear me flow!"

 

Half the time it's a white guy with red hair, freckles and green eyes wearing FUBU. It's really funny when you're the DJ, you're wearing an Anal Cunt shirt and Carhartts and nothing you've been playing would indicate that you have in your possession (or own) the kind of tracks he thinks everyone wants to you play, much less noticed that the crowd is....you know, actually enjoying themselves and dancing.

 

I played a NYE party with a friend of mine about seven years ago, and I took a break after midnight to go get high or something. Then my friend took a break and let some guy fill in for us who said he had some records in his car...naturally he didn't tell us that he bought them at the "Incredibly Annoying Trance Record Shoppe" and the first track promptly cleared the whole front of the house in about two minutes flat. Didn't stop him...he kept on playing and we just laughed at how bad the music was until people started coming up to us to complain. So we threw him off ("No, you can't play one more song") and for once I actually felt sort of appreciated, which was nice.

 

Tre, have you ever considered charging someone fifty bucks to play their CD? I have.

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This thread is making me feel a lot better about myself.

I've fought with girlfriends at parties.... but it's mostly because I'm "not paying enough attention to them".

 

That being said:

 

PICT0033.jpg

 

The bitchy girlfriend who is acting like a bitch because she doesn't know anybody at the party and is scared of your friends....

 

Really? I've gone to your wack parties with your retard art school friends who suck at everything and have been content to smoke cigarettes, drink, and draw by myself. Or I'll try to find something to interest me while you're "enjoying yourself". I don't complain. Maybe you shouldn't complain when I bring you to an actual party with more than 10 people just because a lot of my friends happen to be there and I'm walking around talking to everyone. Take a cab home if you're so miserable. Don't keep asking me why I'm not talking to you. Maybe if you had something to say besides "I don't think your friends like me....." I would be talking to you. Maybe my friends would like you too. Maybe you should go get that cab now.....

I was always lucky with this one. usually the old gf was that paranoid about not being liked she never showed up. what really pissed her off is when i would go hang out with her friends that i didnt even know and they would end up kickin it with me a lot more than her. bad news right there.

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