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8 types of people to watch out for before you throw your next party


2Blazzed

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Or that chick who's pissed at her boyfriend, possibly on the verge of a breakup, so she gets friendly w/ everyone else for the sole purpose of pissing him off, mostly at the expense of stupid dudes who don't know the situation.

 

It's fun when you flip it on your soon-to-be-ex girl and go home with someone else, though...double points when all the dudes at the party see her being trifling and won't give her the time of day.

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THE UNDERAGED GIRL

 

Where to find her: Next to the black guy with ashy elbows and really long fingernails. She snuck over from across the street due to a temper tantrum that was a result of her dad taking away her Hannah Montana tickets. And if there's one thing her dad hates more than a shitty report card, its niggers, and it's pay back time.

 

Why she will ruin your party: The frustration that the guy that pukes everywhere brings is nothing compared to the level of anger your guests will feel as they're getting pepper sprayed by police as they crash your party. Underage girls, booze and cocaine? You're fucked, and so is everybody at the party. Even the world's most terrible people wouldn't allow a 12 year old girl to get Eiffel Towered by two men known only as "Smokey" and "T", and even though you didn't know about it, you're still going to prison for letting it happen in your house.

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6. Person Who Only Knows You

 

guywhoonlyknows.jpg

 

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: About two feet to the right of you, standing silently, staring at either you or the person you’re talking to.

 

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: You invited them because during the four and a half minutes a day you talk to them at work, they seem pretty cool and/or really enjoy the impression you do of a fellow coworker. Except as soon as they get to your party, they tense up like Alex Rodriguez’s asshole during a game in October. You have two options at this point, 1) entertain them and include them in every conversation you have the entire night, like they’re your wife or husband even though you probably don’t know their last name, or 2) leave them on their own which leads to them standing in a corner by themselves, staring at you, causing your friends to ask you “I think that dude in the corner is planning on raping you.”

 

 

 

I've been this person before... it's usually happened when I got invited to the party by some girl I'd been talking to and get there and suddenly realize that even though she was halfway normal, all her friends are overly serious emo kids or goth kids that won't talk to me because I'm dressed normally.

 

I figured out the way around this was to bring a bunch of speed with and feed it to as many people as possible so they start yammering and loosen up enough to talk more. Then I drink all their beer and leave.

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Blood feast island man I'd agree with you on the writers being a bit anti social etc. But most writers I know would be the wastoid types and absolutely none of them would hang in a corner drawing.

 

I have met writers that cannot speak about anything other than graffiti though and they suck the big one.

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Also:

 

The dumb asshole who tries to regulate the stereo with their terrible taste.

The tough guy.

The belligerent slut who you see with a different dude every 5 minutes.

The non-drinkers who sit around and act like they are having as much fun as everyone else.

The coked up guy.

The cheapskate who you keep seeing with everyone else's beer except their own.

 

 

 

these additions are pretty on point.

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baby_grafitti.jpg

 

hardcore d4nC3 n grafFerz

by far the worst people at parites

they never bring any alchohol, or food, or girls, will either spend the entire night drawing shit unsocially in a corner or try to impress da laydeez with dem mad crazy rap letters.

seriously fuck writers

 

I've done it, HA!

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can i be the guy sellin coke to the coked up guy

 

 

 

jus sayin'

 

i used to be that guy. it was awesome. the soon to be coked up guy would approach,say the traditional "i dont really do this.just lemme get a half gram".

30 minutes later,the .5 is gone,he of course wants more,comes back and says he split it with his friend and wants to grab another little half a gram,but that "this is probably it".

this process repeats itself over and over throughout the night,talking to his friends in the corner,aggressively rifling thru his wallet and all of his pockets looking for that other 20 he KNOWS he has somewhere.

they then come back with 16 dollars,asking what they can get for it. i have successfully pieced out in half gram proportions 3.5 grams that if he would have bought all at once would have cost him 120,but since he was "only gonna do a little" (x7),he has spent 175,is broke,limp dicked,and when the sun comes up,going home with headache and runny nose to fight his pillow trying to go to sleep.

 

I used to love going to parties,because it never failed,this situation always played itself out with at least three people,just like clockwork

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The Self Absorbed Douche is definitely one of those guys. Their jabbering on about their jobs,foreign travels,and multiple talents (combined with the fact that they KNOW that they are extremely interesting people and tell the funniest jokes) usually annoys the shit out of anyone that has the misfortune of getting stuck next to these fuckers. I think this potentially leads to the "super wasted at the party" syndrome and could also possibly lead to the "im going stomp this guys ass before the end of the night" syndrome. Narcissists are a definite killer of vibes at a gathering of people that are trying to get drunk and fuck some strange off in the pool shed. Avoid these guys at all costs.

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The Self Absorbed Douche is definitely one of those guys. Their jabbering on about their jobs,foreign travels,and multiple talents (combined with the fact that they KNOW that they are extremely interesting people and tell the funniest jokes) usually annoys the shit out of anyone that has the misfortune of getting stuck next to these fuckers. I think this potentially leads to the "super wasted at the party" syndrome and could also possibly lead to the "im going stomp this guys ass before the end of the night" syndrome. Narcissists are a definite killer of vibes at a gathering of people that are trying to get drunk and fuck some strange off in the pool shed. Avoid these guys at all costs.

 

These dudes= apply fist directly to forehead.

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