eatso Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 what a stupid ass name. in other news I haven't drank in 6 days. this might not seem like an accomplishment, but it's the longest I've gone in 7 years. as a side note I'm eating alot more, with an inclination towards sweet stuff (candy, cookies) shit like that. does any one know what that's all about? I figured it was because my body is used to getting all kinds of retarded sugar from the forties and what not and now it's not. I don't know though. either way I'm putting on weight finally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spring Break '92 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I drink alone alot. Pretty anti social and have issues with human relationships. Getting along with people at work is about all I can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 as a side note I'm eating alot more, with an inclination towards sweet stuff (candy, cookies) shit like that. does any one know what that's all about? I figured it was because my body is used to getting all kinds of retarded sugar from the forties and what not and now it's not. I don't know though. either way I'm putting on weight finally. Could be that addictions tend to provide imediate reward, as in I feel shitty or just want to get high, you use and immediately change your mood. Sweets are kind of an immediate reward, something tasty and really not good for you and you get a little sugar rush or whatever. It could also be giving you a little reward for your brain. I heard chocolate touches on the same receptors in your brain as weed. Certainly not the same effects, but it could be something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClueTwo Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 It works if you work it!@!@~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DopeInMySpleen Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I have been addicted to opiates and any other substance I could sell/abuse for about 7 years. After snorting OCs and coke got old I started shooting dope/coke about 2 years ago. My life spiraled out of control with the quickness. Before I started picking up points I always had my priorities in check. My family, job, friends, etc. Shortly after I started losing a grip on all that and hit rock bottom. My best friend decided to bang some dope and ODed only to be found by his father the next day dead. At that point It scared me straight. I cant stand detox or NA/AA. It is just a place to meet connects and other fucked up people with fucked up lives. I bought a mass quantity of suboxine and just kicked. I never looked back, the thought of going to cop scares me, as well as even seeing dope just makes me think of the tragic loss of my right hand man which makes me not want to do it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dowmagik Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 bump the youtube video that vanfullofretards posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Tough Tits Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 i've kicked back on the drugs and such a lot lately, now i've just been on a 2 week drinking binge, but thats ending. AA though, im not gonna lie i kinda like going to AA meetings, it's not like i just hit one up on a whim on some fight club type shit haha, but i find them very interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord help me Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 what a stupid ass name. in other news I haven't drank in 6 days. this might not seem like an accomplishment, but it's the longest I've gone in 7 years. as a side note I'm eating alot more, with an inclination towards sweet stuff (candy, cookies) shit like that. does any one know what that's all about? I figured it was because my body is used to getting all kinds of retarded sugar from the forties and what not and now it's not. I don't know though. either way I'm putting on weight finally. props on six days, thats a fucken huge accomplishment! i hate to be the one to burst your bubble though, but if your the real deal, you will pick up again. this sounds warped to alot of normies, but the only way for someone like me to stop was by working the 12 steps and having a very slow spiritual experience. this was after years of treatment centers/ halfway houses, jails, overdoses, and hitting my true bottom. went to my first AA meeting when i was 21 in 2003, and said fuck this shit....took me 4 more years of getting my ass kicked to realize willpower wasnt enough...but like i said, you might not be an alchoholic/dopefiend like myself...the only way to see is by doing what your doing right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
absolute.despair Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 HOLY SHIT!? ABS IS 32?! THE FUCK???1 yep, in a couple months. The shit crazy to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Fuck dr bobs big book cult and all the brainwashed horrors it creates Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 props on six days, thats a fucken huge accomplishment! i hate to be the one to burst your bubble though, but if your the real deal, you will pick up again. this sounds warped to alot of normies, but the only way for someone like me to stop was by working the 12 steps and having a very slow spiritual experience. this was after years of treatment centers/ halfway houses, jails, overdoses, and hitting my true bottom. went to my first AA meeting when i was 21 in 2003, and said fuck this shit....took me 4 more years of getting my ass kicked to realize willpower wasnt enough...but like i said, you might not be an alchoholic/dopefiend like myself...the only way to see is by doing what your doing right now. And this is why I have a problem with 12 step programs. I'm glad it works for you but it's not the best solution for everyone. Also, you encourage someone to stay sober by saying "I'm pulling for you, you can do it!" Not by saying, "That's great, six days...you realize you're gonna fall off unless you buy this book and go to meetings and give your life over to a higher power, right?" Simply put, IT WORKS BUT IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE. You should also know by now that the only way it's going to stick is if someone comes to it on their own....I mean, most people that drink or get high know about NA/AA, it's not a huge secret. If they get coerced or shamed into going to meetings then they'll always have negative associations with sobriety. I've even heard people that are in recovery say that they think that court-ordered meetings send the wrong message. Also, the message you're sending is "The only thing that saved me is going to meetings...and if you can do it without it then your problems are nothing compared to sucking dick for dope, like I was." After all, someone who drinks every single day is going to be going through their own troubles. Sometimes it's because of the booze, and sometimes because of why you're drinking...it's all relative. Again, I'm glad it works for you but it's not a one-size-fits-all solution and I know how hard it is for people in recovery to see that at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I would ask this guy how many times he has relapsed, and compare that to what his relapse number would have been with willpower alone. Statistically, the rates are actually slightly WORSE for AA/NA... Fact is the disease model of addiction is more a byproduct of our fucked up medical system than any sort of real scientific logic. I would offer him some literature on it, but he uses terms like "normies" so I know he is already utterly brainwashed and would never accept any sort of real logical argument Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soup Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thanks to the shittiness of the contra costa public defender's office, I now have to serve a 12 hour DUI school for a BAC of .075 (.005 UNDER the legal limit).. but i digress. So this is a weekly two hour session where I'm in a room full of some amazing drinkers and drug abusers. It's led by a janitor and ex crack feind with some wild stories of his own, but generally only talks for 15 mins then runs the class like a smut theater and puts on ridiculous movies about addiction, what the ER looks like on a saturday night gore and all, etc. So there's that, and for the rest of the time the class bullshits about how we got pulled over, how to make 130-150 proof alcohol, what the best way to beat a breathalyzer is, and if anyone's ever had a BAC of .5 before. I've learned SO MUCH about addiction and the benefits of alcoholism that I now drink more than I did before entering the program. I wouldnt say I'm an addictive personality, but I am within the primary age group for people involved in addictive behavior...so I say fuck it. We are a society that doesn't know how to cope with this shitty corporate lifestyle we've created for ourselves, except by self medicating. Addiction may be a problem, but I like to think of it as a symptom to a much greater disease none of us is willing to talk about because, well, it's still far more socially acceptable to just drink and take drugs than bitch and whine and do gay hippy shit like be "introspective." Or at least that's the case on 12oz. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*PROTOCOL* Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 drink some free coffee then lay out on the floor and say "mmmmm warm comfy bedding" then start snoring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Just give up whatever and listen to the AA saga written by Dream Theater. It is like 5 songs that are about teh 12 steps, and it fucking rocks. There is a torrent on demonoid if you have an account, it goes for like an hour but hell, it is fucking great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_gooch Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 "You party?" "I party" someone asked me that a while ago, and i was just like: "yeah, if someone is having party, i'll go". the code totally went over my head...haha. dude just looked at me like nah, not at all...haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 i am not a fan of 12step programs a lotta people seem to just relive the glory at those things. that said, if it helps people that's awesome. i love stuff to the point of obsession but i have a very stubborn streak and have managed to translate that into willpower also, using party as a verb is a pet peeve of mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I've been a drug addict/alcoholic going on 19 years now...I haven't drank alcohol in almost a year and a half and in that time the only drugs I've taken were a few prescription pills here and there. I didn't need AA or NA to quit using, my wife and my job pretty much took care of that. I'll be 33 in September and I wasted more than half of my life high and drunk. I'm what you would call a functioning drug addict, drugs never affected my job or my personal life...I've always been able to use and maintain....The only reason I don't fuck around with drugs anymore is because of random piss test at work. Alcohol is another story though, I'm a total douchebag when I'm drunk. Over the years I've hurt and offended everyone I know at least once because of my drinking. I quit because my wife was at the breaking point and was about to leave me after 10 year of being together. That was reason enough for me to stop. damn man that sounds pretty much like me, apart from i havent completely stopped i have the occasional slip but rather than losing all control i just drink for say an evening then im back to square one but a sober life seems so dull. I havent used hard drugs in years, don't touch prescription stuff, but again i dont like being sober so i still smoke a lot of weed I don't think i could ever be completely sober, im sure if i wanted to I could but I don't want to lol but i do sometimes think of the last 18 odd years of being wasted was a bit much lol oh well im 31 injune maybe that will change me but i doubt it lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 all that aa na shit is way too religious for me. I got locked up in a rehab for 90 days. Everyday they tried to cram aa na down my throat. All i had to say to that is I dont have a higher power. That pissed everybody off. By this time... after sitting in jail for a year where 75% of inmates for 1 reason or another find god... im past irritated. AA Na is some bullshit i got no patience for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I find it unfortunate when people sit in jail and rack up a good number of clean days and their first thought on going home is I'm getting totally fucked up when there's so much else to be catching up on. Dream Theater? I think I'd have to be drinking to listen to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord help me Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I would ask this guy how many times he has relapsed, and compare that to what his relapse number would have been with willpower alone. relapsed? dude, i couldnt even go 8 hours without being sick....i would go 2 or 3 days if i had it in me on willpower. you guys made some good points though..this shit just works for me. thats all. brainwashing?i needed a brainwashing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
absolute.despair Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 i couldnt even go 8 hours without being sick.... I hear that.... For me when I do try to give up the drinkin its a pretty serious ordeal, I have to be under medical supervision when I do. Its been about 3-4 years since i really tried,one time the withdrawls damn near killed me and there were a couple other times where it came close, fortunately I was in either detox or hospitalized so I was able to get immediate treatment. I will say it does feel like death is approaching. I props you if AA works, its helped a good friend of mine stay sober for just over 90 days now and I am very proud for him. I cant go to another meeting cause I know Im going to fail, I guess this thread for me is a more logical version of an NA meeting. I can hear your stories and tell mine when I choose but wont feel like such a failure cause I'll probaly never get the chance to see most of you in person. Im abs1er and Im a substance-aholic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesmoodist Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 are you all shriveled and small n shit now, or big n fat? i seen alcohol straight destroy peoples bodies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcs Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 i mean. If you dont think you can get sober pump your brakes some. If you drinking a fifth every night tone it down to a 40 every night. If you smoke weed everyday. Keep doing that shit. Its like vitamins. If you find yourself with a habit. Meaning you do street drugs and you need them or you get sick... get some help. Thats a slippery slope. Dont start substituting. Pills are not the answer. What i found is some people are excessive. For some1 like me there is no such thing as a couple for a mild buzz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 yeah if you are the serious drink every day for years type alkie, you need medical detox... I'm lucky that I have always pretty much made it a rule since high school to not do the same drug 2 days straight Or at least try to... I've stayed up for a couple days in a stretch quite a few times, but overall I tried to stick to this Occasionally I would go on a weekend bender, but I really love my brain, and for pretty much any hard drug it's important to get a full sleep cycle in to replentish your brain chemicals. Also I am pretty sure I have the most fucked up AA story - I was shipped off to a "recovery" boarding school in my junior year. The school was unregated by the state and basically a big scam for the owner/ headmaster, who was also heavily suspected of molesting boys. Eventually even tho I was 18 and not legally bound or comitted to staying there, I had to run away in the night. There were 26 year old men held against their will in alarmed rooms, you were not allowed to sign yourself out. Kidnapping escapees was the norm, even though the law dictated you had to be allowed to sign out. They eventually got shut down by the state for human rights abuses when they refused a girl who swallowed razor blades medical treatment because she was doing it to get attention That school was modeled on 12 steps and meetings were pretty much required. If you wanted to advance you had to enter the program or rot there for an indefinite ammount of time (either your parents quit paying, you run away, or graduate) Shit was fucked up beyond belief Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KINGSHITOFFUCKMOUNTAIN Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 fuck court ordered meetings that is all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
absolute.despair Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 are you all shriveled and small n shit now, or big n fat? i seen alcohol straight destroy peoples bodies I eat good and I look healthy but I got a belly for sure. i mean. If you dont think you can get sober pump your brakes some. If you drinking a fifth every night tone it down to a 40 every night. Dont start substituting. real talk, my alcohol consumption is probably 1/4-1/3 of what it used to be. the other shit only happens after I drink and can get excessive at times. I do take pills at times but not to get high, I need those for the withdrawls. Like I said in the first post its fucked and unfortunately in this day more and more people will fall victim to this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouMad.GIF Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 U RACK DISEPRIN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 addiction is fucked up, ruined a few friendships of mine in fact. hang in there dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Have you heard about Naltrexone? It's interesting stuff, I don't know if it works for everyone but you might want to ask a doctor about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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